78 Girl codes - Laugh and learn

Please bring out your sense of humour and have a good laugh. This is a fun post, loads of sarcasm and pettiness imbedded with truths. Girls may not say these but anyone that goes against them is a traitor. I stopped attending to a babe I had just met through her now husband when I was told he was her friend's ex. What is that? Out of all the men in the world, you chose to choose your friend's ex and you expect to remain friends with her and your other girlfriends? So you can "thief" their bobos ehn? If you're a true friend, he wouldn't even have the guts to ask you out. As you're now dating him, you better don't break up or even attempt to complain about him. You'll have a babe's back and tell her her boyfriend is married, engaged or not who he says he is and she, forming stupid Juliet, will go and tell him "Anu said ..." Such should be left alone to have their hearts trampled upon. I'm not a fan of friends saying " I saw your boyfriend, here or there". I would rather step up to the boyfriend and give him the word of his life. If I can deal with it, my friend doesn't need to know. He shouldn't only hide his cheating side from my friend, he better hide it from me. But if I find out my boyfriend is married, you knew and didn't tell me, I'll show both you and the useless boyfriend Cameroon pepper,lol. Here are my "few" 78 GIRL CODES, read through and enjoy.

1# Rule no 1 and the MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL.. No girl may date her friend's exs, past crushes, guys who have humiliated/used her and guys she currently fancies. Do this at your own risk! Exceptions to rule: a) Your friend has given you permission (b) The said fancying/dating happened before the age of puberty. (c) Your friend has dated so many guys leaving you with little or no options.

2# Stop being the "me too" girl, if your friend is telling a story, stop stealing her thunder.

3# When a said evening is said as a girls' night out, do not invite your boyfriend.

4# A girl has a right to lie in order to keep a secret told to her by her best friend.

5# When complimented by a friend it is your duty to find something to compliment her back on… whether this be straight afterwards or stored for later on in the day

6# It is your womanly right to give dirty looks

7# Being friends with your friends arch enemy/people your friend hates is a shady area… if you are to do this you must keep the said arch enemies/hated people friendship with you on the d- low

8# If your friends new boyfriend is hideous or lacking in the looks department when asked your opinion of him it is accepetable to describe him as 'cute'

9# Women ARE ALWAYS RIGHT until PROVEN wrong!

10# We have to go through childbirth/periods/waxing so are the downtrodden sex and this can be used in any disagreement/argument with a member of the male species.. let them feel our PAIN

11# Never see your friend or any other lady as competition.

12# A guy who claims to love chick flicks must be looked at in suspicion.. either he's after something or theres something he's not telling you (*cough).. make him sit through 'crossroads' and if he survives that then he may be counted as genuine but trust him at your own peril!

13# Two friends should not hook up with the same guy in the same night HAVE SOME SELF RESPECT LADIES!

14# Never may a thong/ G-string be worn with a short skirt.. There are things your companions do not need to see!

15# Sleeping with more than five men in a lifetime does not make you a whore, however sleeping with five men in a week does.

16# All single girls are allowed to hate Valentines Day and bitch about it to their other single girlfriends

17# Females are always obligated to notice and comment on any change of hair cut or color, new clothes, jewlerry etc

18# If a girl is throwing up it is your duty to hold her hair back.. even if she is not an acquaintance

19# If recently single it is advised that you do not moan about being single to someone who has been single for alongertime than you.. think about it!

20# If you have previously got with or seen someones boyfriend/guy they like/ guy they are 'seeing' UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES may you discuss your time with said boy. It's good enough she knows you had been with him

21# It is perfectly acceptable (and highly encouraged) to let a complete stranger know their necklace is tangled, clothes tag is hanging out

22# You are morally obligated to stop your friend from getting with a guy you KNOW she will greatly regret in the morning if the said friend is under the influence of alcohol, (this requires use of proper judgement, not hers, yours) In this case 'cock-blocking' is acceptable no matter what the stupid man code says.

23# After breaking up with a guy it is your right to eat a whole box of chocolates/ tub of ice cream without being judged

24# Thou shalt not call your friend's hubby by his first name. Don't roll your eyes, it's not proper.

25# If you have a picture of your friend on facebook/myspace or any other public medium and she dislikes it (and gives sufficient reason as to why she does) it is your duty to remove it

26# If a woman asks her best friend if she looks fat, and she really does, it is the obligation of the friend to tell her that the offending piece of clothing "does nothing for her."

27# A grey bra that is supposed to be white is not acceptable

28# Food eaten while preparing other food has no calories.

29# Women who never binge have no souls.

30# ALWAYS exfoliate before tanning... Also if your friend is turning orange through fake tanning you must make her aware of this

31# No woman at any time shall allow her thong to rise above the waistline of her pants

32# No woman may loudly deem herself "fat" if she is in the presence of an obviously fatter woman.

33# It is perfectly acceptable to announce that you are going on a diet and break it the next day

34# If in a changing room and you friend trys on an outfit that someone else in the changing room has tried on you are obligated to tell said friend that she looks better in it.. however if she looks awful consult rule no#26

35# Don’t ever seek true opinion from a guy on your outfit, if unsure ask a female friend.. this rule however does not apply if you know you look hot in the outfit in which case asking a guy will help you receive compliments which all girls are entitled to. God help you if you infact do not look as hot as you thought you did

36# No woman shall ever go to the ladies' room alone if there is another woman available to go with her.

37# Under no circumstances may two girls whisper to one another in the presence of other girls.. it is plain rude.. share the wealth

38# Friends are obligated to protect and defend the reputation of a friend. Again whether this involves lying or not

39# No girl shall pretend to know / like sports just to be "hot" in front of guys. Knowledge of said sport must be proven by at least 5 statistics and / or an obvious familiarity with the rules of the game.

40# If a friend runs off crying (to the toilet for example)you must atleast count to 10 before following her.. we do not want to make the situation a soap opera/ prove the judgement that girls are melodramatic

41# Always leave the party with the girls you came with unless a mutual agreement has been met

42# Flirting with your friends dad is not permitted no matter how attractive you find him. Oh well except you're ready to meet your maker

43# If your skirt is short enough for the pockets to come out of the bottom, fellow females have the right to brand you a slag. However if you're ok with this feel free to wear the skirt, we need someone to talk about

44# If you are experiencing PMS, Post-PMS, or Pre-PMS, you are permitted to exhibit any manner of behaviors you wish without regard to logical consistency or accepted norms of human behavior. However this rule does not make you exepmt from any of the other girl rules

45# As women we are allowed to be completely self-absorbed and self obsessed when it comes to A) Our wedding days, B) Our birthdays, C) childbirth, D) Breakups

46# "I have a boyfriend" is a completely acceptable way of turning a guy down, especially if you have to lie about it. Friends when questioned must always back you up on this and ’play along’

47# You're under no obligation to tell the truth when asked the number of your sexual partners

48# It is perfectly acceptable to sing into your hairbrush, as long as in the privacy of your room/ drunk with your close friends

49# No woman shall wear coloured undergarments under any white article of clothing

50# You are perfectly within reason to hate your bf's ex even if she is the nicest girl in the world, feeds the poor, visits old peoples homes and helps out at the local cattery

51# It is perfectly acceptable to use any shiny surface as a mirror to check ones appearance, or merely pose. for example: shop windows, car windscreens, cutlery, one way glass on buildings etc.

52# A girl is allowed to come up with cutesy pet names for her boyfriend and use them around his friends for general punishment if he has angered or displeased her in any way.

53# It is your womanly right to take hoodies, boxers and t-shirts from guys without returning them. However this is overruled if the said guy is your friends boyfriend/brother/love interest/dad/uncle.. you get the picture

54# Girls should always explain or apologise for not calling another female friend back. We are courteous to our friends.

55# You will always have your best mates 'back'. This is a sign of a true friend.

56# A girl must under to circumstances slap a guy

57# NEVER EVER say 'i love you' without meaning it. The male population do it enough for both sexes, we don't need to stoop to their level

58# In no way does a girl have to mean what she says when in conversation with the opposite sex. Some examples are listed (to help the boys out):

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

59# If you change boyfriends so fast they rarely achieve name status, a man must be around for at least six weeks before you make your friends bother to learn his first name. Until such time, he should be referred to as "The boy" or "That guy".

60# If you just met a guy and know absolutely nothing about him, but need to refer to him during 'girl talk' you use one example of who he is, something he has, or what he does, and he becomes the "cab guy" "ice cream guy", etc

61# Every girl must wait at least a day and a half before calling a guy whose number she has retrieved..

62# You are to never diss a friend's boyfriend except to agree lightly or nod when she says he's being an asshole. Exception: If a guy cheated on or dumped your friend.

63# If you want to date a friend's brother it is required that you get said friends permission. You better be sure you get it else I will not acknowledge you as his babe.

64# No girl is to ever hang out with the boyfriend of a friend without the friend being present. If permission to is granted their should be at least 3 other people with you. You also have no reason calling her man except you're planning a surprise.

65# Every girl deserves a bridal and baby shower

66# No girl shall purposely wear an outfit she knows her friend will be wearing to an event except prior agreement had been reached.

67# No girl shall borrow an item of clothing without asking the clothing owner's permission, unless both parties have made an official decision to waive this rule in the context of their friendship.

68# The penalty for exposing a secret to an unauthorized party(including your best friend, boyfriend and mom) shall be exile from Girlville.

69# Inside jokes are not to be explained to outsiders.

70# Always leave a man wanting more but don't leave him guessing too long since guys do not take hints easily.

71# If a guy your friend is into asks for your number, you are to deny it and walk away, and/or slip him your friends number while saying, "I think she is more your type, you should call her"

72# Chicks before *****. Simple.

73# In a case where a friend spreads a horrible rumor about a friend, and than apologizes they are to be given the cold-shoulder for at least 3 days.

74# In a fight between a friend and her boyfriend you must always choose your friend's side? Nope! Be objective.

75# When dating a girl should find equal and/or enough time to still hang out with her girls

76# Never insult your friend but never let your friend leave the house looking hideous. Find a better way to tell your friend how they look.  Ex: 'I think your other jeans are nice', 'You should wear less eyeliner, you have great eyes'.

77# When a friend is drunk, never allow her to dial, drive or leave with a random guy

78# When a friend calls you up complaining about how she is drunk and can't go home you must allow her to stay at your house.

In summary my ladies, don't fight over guys, watch out for each other, don't tell each others' secrets, don't date her ex, never choose a guy over your friend, be honest with each other, support each other, don't backstab or talk behind each other's back, give honest advice, don't leave anyone behind, don't back stab or talk behind each other's back, give honest advice and leave anyone behind.

Y'all had better be at least be grinning from ear to ear after reading this. I'm so tired, went out of my way to put this up because I said I will. Thanks for always reading and being so kind. Have any topic you want me to blog about? Kindly share. Have a great week. Xoxo

Fruitful alliances

I think I've been blessed in the friendship department. I've been able to know what friendship to invest in and the ones not expect anything from and I haven't had regrets, well, nothing serious. Before I do something, I do not only consider whether or not my parents and brother would fry me, I also imagine my friends' reactions. That we don't talk about personal stuff doesn't acquit us of each other the truth, even before one's opinion is sought when necessary.

Show me your friend and i'll tell you who you are, right? Meaning friends are generally of like minds. Often we see some unexpected alliances, a church girl and an "unchurch" boyfriend, a party freak and her sit at home friend, etc. When exams are drawing near, you see some very funny friendships, the brilliant and the not so brilliant, the unofficial school librarian and the chronic club goer. We understand what is going on here. The Aunty that hasn't been studying hard is wise enough to have a friend she can go to as exams draws near. Smart! But the "friend" she goes to may not be so pleased if she gains nothing from the friendship. Nobody deserves a parasitic friend. Friendship is give and take. A friend helps you make up what you're lacking and vice-versa. I had a naughty temper but after being friends with my darling T and dh, I learnt from them and gave myself brain. There really is no point getting worked up or keeping grudges. Sheer waste of time and energy I say. Some friends are all about taking. It may not even be material stuff but you can never say "I'm grateful to God for giving me Tola as a friend." The friend you can easily dispense off when he is out of sight.

The morale of this post if you're not gaining anything from/giving into a friendship, you don't have /you're not a friend. Even mentors gain, no matter how small, from the mentored. So what is your own? A divine helper? I bless God for your wonderful heart. You should also remember that when we give to God, he gives back with interest sef. Don't however call yourself her friend again. Thank you. Gallivanting around the world, keeping each other's company, having fun and gossiping isn't friendship. Set short and long term goals. Is she going to help you meet those goals? You're in Law School, studying isn't your thing, you know you need motivation to study yet the friend, you chose or you allowed to choose you, is the exact same as you. You don't compliment each other? You're strengthening your strengths and weakening your weaknesses. You're nothing less than a learner. Choose friends that bring something to the table, don't be chosen. Stop wasting your time having fun when your should be studying or hustling. What are you celebrating? Fun is a reward for doing well or to relax after a work well done, not a prologue before work.

Dear "low key" readers that were upset there was no post yesterday. I'm sorry. Thank you for reading. Do we talk about the Girl Code tomorrow? Xoxo, Anuoluwapo.

UPDATED: Need excitement? Get some here now

I'm excited and after reading this post, hopefully you will be too. We may not remember to go out of our way to help those in need or we may not be able to do so often for want of money. Our birthdays (and other celebrations) are very good opportunities to give. Instead of feeding people who have food at home. We can take the party out to people who may never have parties except we take one to them. You'll not only be happy and fulfilled, your guests would also be, even weeks after. Your food, drinks and music can not give that.
The first time I was at privately owned Hope Orphanage was on my 16th birthday, two years ago (I'll be 16 again in a few weeks) *winks* I went with a few friends and did we have a good time? I couldn't believe a mother could abandon her baby. Well, not all were abandoned. One's mom was in University and needed help with the baby. Another's mom had mental difficulties taking care of him. The father also having financial constraints thought it wise to leave the baby there for some time while he got his footing. They have different tragic stories with a uniting factor, they need our love. Something else common to them is that they are so cute!! I was tempted to steal a baby boy who also wanted to leave with us. He kept crying to be held.
I was at another orphanage recently. I was disappointed that, even though I had been there in our junior secondary school days, I couldn't immediately pinpoint it's location. We should know every orphanage in our neighbourhood well from frequent visitations. I saw a less than one month old baby. SAD!! The kids here may be well fed but they lacked social and communication skills, parental discipline and have a serious life threatening level of "ojukokoro". If they were with their parents, they won't be "beggy beggy" children. Oh and they demand with arrogance not beg. I wish our society was more open to adopting kids.
There are several ways we can help
(i) Adopt a child
(ii) Sponsor a child
(iii) Give to them. Nothing is too small.
(iv) Show love to the kids. Even if you don't have money, you can visit
(v) Celebrate owners and workers at such homes. They indeed are wealthier than the rich people we celebrate. Read are you wealthy or rich to understand better.
(v) Most importantly pray for the kids, owners of (and workers at) the homes.

UPDATE: IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN GIVING TO THESE LESS PRIVILEGED BUT BLESSED KIDS. KINDLY GET IN TOUCH WITH ME ASAP. THERE IS A PROPOSED VISIT FOR THE SECOND WEEKEND IN AUGUST. REMEMBER IT IS MORE BLESSED TO GIVE THAN TO RECEIVE, ESPECIALLY TO PEOPLE THAT CAN'T REPAY US. STORE YOUR TREASURES IN HEAVEN, WHERE MOTHS AND RUST CAN NOT DESTROY, AND THIEVES CAN NOT BREAK IN AND DESTROY MATTHEW 6:20. BLESS YOUR HEARTS.‎

Your life isn't meant to be spent on self-indulgence and career advancement alone. It's by God's mercy we didn't grow up in orphanages. It's by God's mercy our kids won't grow up in orphanages. I hope you're as excited as I am to join the team. Thank you for reading.

Yesterday

Had a good day yesterday. Had a good one/two hours with a sweetheart. Thanks for your help Z. I also got my nails done - henna style. I'm a big fan, I could name my daughter Henna. Fast forward to a few hours, I wake up to see "bomb blasts" all over my bbm. I wished I could "unsee" these and go back to sleep. Two bomb blasts hit our country while I slept(Adamawa and Abuja) and then a petrol tanker exploded in Apapa, Lagos leaving people dead, injured and families mourning. It was Kano two days back and several locations in the North. These people weren't at wrong places. Some at work, some shopping/visiting. It's too sad. How did we get here? How long would we live in fear? How long would we be afraid that something bad could happen to our loved ones? Nobody deserves to die this way. I pray God intervenes fast. Thank God for the quick response of security agencies in Enugu state recently.

No good news about the Chibok girls yet. I really hope progress is being made. There have been abductions (after that of the girls), killings and blasts. We are used to such news now. We feel sad and lament for a few minutes or seconds sef and that's it, we move on. Armed robbery, ritual killings, assassinations, kidnapping, cultism, ..., are the order of the day in the country. Where is really safe? May God protect us and ours.

We may not be able to go to Sambisa forest but here is what I think we can do:

(a) Pray for God's intervention

(b) Speak against terrorism and other evils.

(c) Mount pressure on the government. Remember, we didn't see them take any action with regards to the Chibok girls until we mounted pressure. Pray God gives the government divine wisdom.

(d) Support  victims and their families with prayers, supplies and care.

(e) Donate blood to (teaching) hospitals.

(f) Believe in Nigeria. We'll get through this. Amen!

May God grant the injured speedy recovery, the ones that lost (a part of) their investments/businesses the strength to forge ahead, the bereaved the fortitude to bear the losses. May the souls of the departed, rest in peace. Dear God, please #bringbackourgirlsalive.
Thanks for reading. Xoxo

What a woman wants naija style

Biodun Ogundeji, one of the sweetest babes I know, wrote in from Port-harcourt. She says she has been a "lowkey" reader. She quickly obliged when I asked if she could write on this, that I'm very grateful for. It's seemingly not a serious topic but has a few things we can pick up. Enjoy!
Every man (eventually) needs a woman in his life. Even the bible ascertains this in Gen 2:18 "Then the Lord God said " It is not good that the man should be alone, I will make him a helper fit for him." Back to the topic of the day " What a woman wants from her man". A woman wants so much yet so little ( that is of cos if you really love her).
First of all, every woman wants a man she can proudly show off to the world. I don't mean physique or facial looks (although a sister doesn't mind a fine man with a banging body.. LOL). Show off in this context refers to an educated gentleman of good character, presentable, hardworking and most of all God fearing. A man who is also pleased to have her as well.
Secondly, we all know every woman is soft hearted no matter how hard or stubborn we are ( I don cast us sha ). This is to remind our men that every gesture towards us has a special place in our hearts and is very appreciated. Remind her about all the great stuff she's made of, thank her warmly when she does something nice for you, chastise her with love, say nice things to her, tell her how beautiful she is and last but definitely not the least, spoil her with treats every now and then (please o, within your budget.. 'Gbese' not allowed). Learn to surprise your woman. Unexpected gifts are one of the most exciting and adorable things you can do for her. Gifts shouldn't only be given on birthdays or anniversaries. It sure goes a long way.
Lastly, we know women are said to be talkatives (definitely not all) but in the long run, we only talk about so much to you because we confide in you and believe you care for us. Please, always give her a listening ear no matter how irrelevant the discussion may seem. Advice her, encourage her, help her grow and develop into a better woman.
I strongly believe that a woman who gets all of these from her man would be nothing but happy and also be the BEST for him as well.

The "gbese" part totally cracked me up. True though, if it's ice cream you can afford, please give her the ice cream jeje. Don't do pass yourself. Ice cream proposal sef dey, put the ring in it and let her find it while taking it. Whether you used ice cream or a private jet, you have proposed and made her happy in the process. It's mostly about the thought and efforts behind it and not necessary the substance. Thank you so much my darling for this piece. In summary we want loyalty, friendship, appreciation and care which may include treats, vacations, (you get the drift right?) and someone who has our back. She couldn't have possibly listed everything we want. These are just the basics. Thanks for reading. Hopefully, we'll have practical tutorials on some fun topics from blog readers soon. Enjoy the plenty pictures. I love you, Anuoluwapo.

Who doesn't want commitments?

I don't care what other guys are like, I just want my man to be very good to me

Prove to me that you want it - my love

My rant was inspired by a tweet I saw yesterday. Only a boy can think and have the nerves to say/tweet "Will never propose to any girl on a knee. No time to design some elaborate scheme to surprise anyone. Too busy." How dare you? What/who exactly do you think you are? Is it the babe you want to marry that is anyone? You think you can marry with that lousy attitude? Are you a meal? Why so full of yourself? Take it to the bank, only a girl will marry you. Ladies are not desperate. Remember Aunty Karma may be visiting your sister, daughter and granddaughter?
We are so quick to "worship" and make men feel too special. He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord. Is it your ticket to favour you're too busy to do something special for? What do you do again? Obama is one of the most powerful men in the world, if not number 1. Do you see/sense that he acts in such a lousy manner or treat his wife with disdain? Dear ladies, assess Michelle Obama, does she seem desperate? One a man can toss around? We don't understand our worth. Help mates fit for them. They can not live fulfilling lives without us. Do we need help mates? No! Are they a channel of favour for us? It's not said. They marry us, we change our names and signatures, become cooks, housekeepers, personal assistants, confidants, motivators, prayer warriors, carry pregnancies, go through labour, sleepless nights, ruined bodies,... And you say you're too busy to go out of your way for her? A man that is too busy now to design some elaborate scheme to surprise anyone will not put in any effort to make make you happy or please you. Kudos to the amazing men that not only love their women but appreciate and help them.
I'm not saying we should start forming independent women. I'm saying let's be wise and sure before we start looking at wedding dresses. It's not easy to be submissive, especially not to a guy that has no respect for you and can not go out of his way for you. The ladies whose men cherish do not have two heads. If he can not cherish you, you should not be with him. Do you want to live with an egocentric, brutish, lousy and immature man for the rest of your life? If you accept it now, it will become a norm in your life. Don't get me wrong. It's not just about the proposal. I did not have a fancy proposal abi do you know my proposal story? This is about not being desperate to settle with just any guy. This is about teaching men to respect women. Don't mind when married folks coo about their partners, it isn't always smiles. Mutual respect, amongst other things, is what keeps you happy.  I hope you know there are men who believe their women are slaves. Have you seen Mr and Mrs? Hardly is any lady fortunate enough to have her story ending beautifully like that.
We are help-mates not slaves. We will help but we deserve love, peace, respect,... to make helping beautiful and easy. Please my darling, don't have unrealistic standards and don't settle for a lousy undeserving guy that would frustrate you.
Thank you for reading again today. It's "What a girl wants - naija style" tomorrow. Much love.

That mistake I made

Blog reader, Dr Lini, wrote in from Lagos. Please take your time to digest this very deep piece. Thank you.
Mistakes in life are imminent, unavoidable, untimely and unpredictable. We however  experience it in different measures, ways  and disposition. I consider and have two viewpoints of mistakes in  life. A good mistake would be termed such if such gives the opportunity for amendment  and it is not simply the "one  mistake too many".
It is a known fact that learning from people's experiences has been adjudged better by far, I agree with that honestly! but only on issues that have great consequences. The saying the taste of the pudding is in the mouth is also not to be neglected, another person's experience cannot and would not adequately fit into yours, simply because you are  a separate entity and therefore your approach to life differs.
A bad mistake is a case of two wrongs  not making a right. The mistake itself is bad enough and it becomes worse when the mistake is irreparable and tends to utter regrets in destruction. A mistake in which the victim cannot come out from and celebrate triumph and look back in retrospect and be happy he made it, is a bad one.
However good or bad a mistake is, it is one of the attributes of being human. The greatest deceit is self deception. To deceive ourselves is to say we haven't made one before, or to think we are beyond making one. The only one above board on mistakes is the almighty God.
A problem defined is a problem half way solved. If by  design we fall victim of certain mistakes then  we should realize these facts.We are human with limitations, we are not designed to be above mistakes, it could be a good one, that some so called mistakes have been the greatest inventions, and  even inventors, and lastly that God allowed it, with whom there is no mistake.
This one thing should be guarded against, making the MISTAKE of seeing suicide as a solution to a mistake. That in Itself is the only Giant MISTAKE never to be considered not alone made. The brighter life often come out of mistakes and amendment. Who knows if the first time gold was purified better with fire, was a mistake! Let us all see Mistake as a part of life that gives us the challenge to do even better. Mistake is  only a bump on  a route, it is the destination that matters.
In conclusion i quote DR Lini who says blessed are those who have their mistakes in life come early, for to them there is a chance to redefine. You are not alone. Forget your mistakes and get your grooves back!
Thank you very much Dr Lini. Everyone makes mistakes and suicide is never an option. You can learn and make good out of your mistakes but don't let it define you. Shina Peters should have been ashamed of himself when seemingly the whole world mocked him for wishing someone "a soonest RECOVER". He went ahead to make a hit from his mistake. How about Kim Kardashian? *lips sealed* Our own Pastor Benny Hinn also divorced his wife, Suzanne but they got back with a bang 3years after. They learnt and made good their mistakes. When people make mistake, rather than metamorphise into a judge (without even studying law ehn), learn from their mistakes and provide succour for them. The first girl to share her nudes probably didn't know what could come out of it. We saw her mistake and judged. Maybe if we had learnt from it, provided succour for her and educated ourselves in love, no girl will make that mistake again. It's not time to cheer and jeer when a couple is going through a messy/bad time. If you want an exciting drama, go catch a movie. Someone's pain should never excite us. We laugh at someone that has certain issues, don't you have a relative or friend that has similar issues. Don't we have our own issues sef? We know how to protect us and ours. Let me stop here before my closing prayer would turn to a revival.lol. Thank you so much Dr Lini. I love this topic.

Bedmatics 101

"I totally agree with Esquire's post even though I am a woman. All four points highlighted here are ''very'' basic and to a very large extent are for the good of the woman who is characterized by all of these four qualities. If you will please permit me to start a discussion on your ''post - in - post'' Anu and Esquire. I'd like to ask/know your opinions on sourcing for more knowledge on how to improve in ''bedmatics''. Cos very recently, I was scrolling through a sister's phone and found some ''erotic'' pictures and video, when I asked her why she now has such on her phone, she simply said, ''I'm now married nah, how I for do''. So I simply kept quiet. So like, probably practicing more on culinary skills, studying for professional courses, ensuring that the kids attend Sunday school, making my book of bible stories their bed time story book among other things one can do to improve on the four points Esquire highlighted above. Is sourcing the internet, buying cds and so on to improve on ''bedmatics'' inappropriate?" This was Eniwealth's comment here Please feel free to leave your contributions in the comment section, thank you.

There is nothing clear and concise about pornography in the Bible. So learning "bedmatics" from pornography is left to individual understanding and conviction. I hope you realise that porn is make believe, a very scripted movie. The actors do what they are asked to do infront of a bunch of people. They get breaks in between and aren't always comfortable. It isn't realistic to want to make a replica of what these people do. Isn't love making supposed to be comfortable? They aren't even making love, they are working.

If we decide to leave God out of it, morality and society frowns against it. If the custom and tradition of your place encourages it, kindly enlighten us. Can you proudly say, in public, that you are a porn star or that you watch porn? Will you be proud to be associated with a porn star? If you answered "no" to the questions, you shouldn't be watching porn.

Porn encourages incest, fornication, adultery, rape, homosexuality, beastility and orgies in their story lines. Like I said earlier, it is drama and follows a story line. A married teacher and her underage student (that's adultery for her and fornication for the boy), a boy and his father's wife (incest), a girl gets gang raped on the bus (later we wonder what is wrong with the perverse men in India), couple of guys and girls have a sex party (orgy), a girl and a horse (beastility), a man and a man, fetishes, etc. If you're watching any of these, you're saying yes to it. Yes to what God says no to. See 1Corinthians 6:9,18, 5:1, Hebrews 13:4, Leviticus 18:6-18,23, 20:15-16, Exodus 22:19, 25-29, Deuteronomy 27:21, Galatians 5:21,...
The Bible says lusting after a person you're not married to is sin. So you're either fornicating or committing adultery by getting turned on when watching (or thinking about porn). Matthew 5:28, 1 Corinthians 7:2.

It attracts some demons to one's life. Heard about incubus, succubus and spirit spouses? There are several ways of attracting them which include porn, sexual sins, deliberate actions (believe it or not, there are guides online on how to have a sex demon), third party's action, indecent dressing (indecency attracts them like it does to regular guys) and beauty (demons sabi better too). There is a spirit behind porn addiction. Addicts start innocently before they get hooked. Some people say they have sex dreams after watching porn. Why give room to the devil?

I am therefore of the opinion that pornography is not the will of God for our lives. Porn is never the answer. I think you can learn from your experience, experimenting, your partner, healthy books and websites like Every Woman, Pre-marital counselling, seminars (even in church!), sex therapists, female groups (ladies fellowship), parents, siblings and close friends. A discussion filled with tips is going on in a group of mature Godly women on a post on Babes' Redefined's facebook page. You should join the group for Godly counsel and fun. Finally, he married you because he loves you. If sex was number 1, he would have married a prostitute.

Thanks for reading again. Adenike has graciously accepted to entertain questions on natural human hair. Please get your questions to me as soon as possible. We'll also get a "what a lady wants" naija style soon. Here are some of the verses I mentioned in my anti-pornography talk. You can look the others up. Xoxo.

*1Cor 6:18 "Flee from fornication. Every sin that a man will do is apart from his body, but whoever fornicates sins with his body."

1Cor 6:9 "You know that wicked people will not inherit the kingdom of God, don't you? Stop deceiving yourselves! Sexually immoral people, idolaters, adulterers, male prostitutes, homosexuals,"

Galatians 5:21 "envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God."

Matthew 5:28 "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

Leviticus 18:6 "You must never have sexual relations with a close relative, for I am the LORD."

Deuteronomy 27:21 "The one who has sexual intercourse with any animal is cursed.' And all the people will say, 'Amen!' "

 
 

Show me your savings

I don't care whether you call me Ijebu or not, because i'm proudly one, not stingy but prudent. I will not be bullied into fronting or unnecessarily inconveniencing myself. I have N50 doesn't mean I should give in to my wants that costs N5. You don't buy something and you're termed stingy. They suddenly forget how good you had been to them? Don't mind them. Do your thing, it's just for a short while. That aso-ebi you didn't pick may be a seed towards buying them a house as a wedding anniversary gift. What some people don't realise is that one may have a need that costs N500. If I keep removing N5 from the N50 I have, i'll never make progress. Many times it's better to give to help than giving in to "b'egbe pe". That's when you do things because your mates are doing it. Your bestie bought hermes bags and you must buy? How about that your other friend that's investing in her business? That your colleague that you think doesn't know what's up because he doesn't hang out with you every weekend is saving hard to buy a good piece of land, investing in his future. We have to sacrifice now to live in surplus later.

I'm not advocating being stingy. I'm only saying put your needs before your wants. Do indulge yourself but ensure you sort out more needs than wants. Nollywood actress Toyin Aimakhu posted a sweet picture of her hubby perming her hair. Some people chose to overlook the sweetness in the photo and attacked her choice of cheap perm. Toyin calmly stated that's that what they can afford. Even if she has a million naira in her account, it doesn't mean she should get something simply because she can afford it. Like my mom would say "you can afford it doesn't mean you can have it". We sef, if a girl does runs and gets expensive stuff, we insult her. If she respects herself and lives within her means, we say she is cheap. Please only you know where the shoe pinches. Refuse to be harassed. Know and go for what you want. Be wise and always think about tomorrow. Don't spend your money in a day. Life is short but what if you live to 120years?  You earn 40k, you spend 32k on clothes every month and wonder why you're not making progress? Your investment is in clothes that would "finish" after wearing a few times and posting on ig. Don't wait till you earn a million before you start saving. Save today so we can build empires and travel private jet style later. "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow wiill bring it's own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today" Matthew 6:34? I think that is saying we should let God do the worrying for us, he has got our backs and will never fail us, so relax. While relax, remember Proverbs 12:27 "A lazy hunter does not catch his prey, but a hard-working person becomes wealthy". Work hard, don't worry, leave God to cause increase and save!

I wish us the very best in our journeys to the top, hopefully we'll celebrate when we get there. People at the top, please remain there. I was to write about our nomination, will do that next week. Blog reader's post will come next week too. We'll talk about pornography and how/where we can learn to be pros in "bedmatics" as Esquire puts it tomorrow (we're not learning it here though). Any kind lady wants to write on "what women want in their men?", please message me. Thanks for reading, xoxo.

*OYO = On your own
 IG = Instagram

N.B. We have more than enough troubles on ground as it is, let's pray for God to take control of the affairs of Ekiti state today. Vote with your conscience, don't sell your future for peanuts.