Friday, 20 February 2015

#Run.A.Way

Domestic abuse breaks my heart. It's a terrible situation to be in. A blossoming young lady gets married and becomes a shadow of herself. A man gets married and has his self esteem destroyed, no thanks to the wife. Some are masters at acting. She just updated "My husband is the best" while using foundation or looking for a long sleeve shirt to conceal bruises gifted to her by the "best" husband. Threatening you with a knife/bottle, slapping or hitting you is unacceptable. Your wife has no right to lock you out for coming home late or throw her pot at you in annoyance. But errm, night crawling is not a virtue, if you didn't know.
Former Mr Nigeria Bryan Okwara and musical sensation Di'ja
Non-physical abuse may even be worse. Nobody notices, depression creeps in as self-esteem/productivity creeps out. Some are unlucky to be taken away via BP/other health concerns arising from depression or suicide before help comes. If your spouse abuses you, please don't die in silence. Talk to people who should know/can help. People praying with you, therapy or some time apart may solve the issue.

Your boyfriend beats you, your girlfriend talks down your self esteem and you're still in the relationship? Are you naturally daft or waiting for angel Gabriel to show you the exit passage? Please don't bring stories that touch after marriage o, thank God you're not blind now. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. If you're not cool with or can not live with something your partner does, isn't it logical you pack your bags and leave? You know how hard it is to change yourself? You think it will be easy to change another?

It's not compulsory to be in a relationship please. I agree that no one is perfect but then you don't deserve to be abused. You should be thankful you realised before wedding him/her? What is he/she giving you that is worth your precious life, happiness and self esteem? Some breakups should be celebrated. So what you've been together for 6years? This is one time selfishness is allowed. Put your happiness first. Leave people to say whatever.

I wrote on domestic abuse some months back. I'll edit and share soon. Please don't miss it. Kindly overlook typos, it is 3am and I'm typing on my phone. Kudos to Emmanuel Ikubeses for taking this wonderful initiative. First two photos are courtesy the makeup artist #makeupbyyakky's dp. (Third is from LIB.) I think it's amazing that he is using his craft for a good deed. Same goes for Bryan, Di'ja and others involved. Thanks for reading bloghearts. Nothing but love, Anuoluwapo.

*Project RAW is a domestic violence awareness campaign. The acronym RAW stands for Respect A Woman and it's the brainchild of the current Mr Nigeria, Emmanuel Ikubese.


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22 comments:

  1. 'demola20 February 2015 at 14:05

    Keep up the good work Anu. Love d way u open our eyes to sensitive issues.

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  2. Eniwealth20 February 2015 at 14:21

    True post. If only more women would stop for a moment to re prioritize. Your happiness first people!
    Great post Anu

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  3. Esquire20 February 2015 at 15:06

    Excellent post my barrister. Women really need to look at happiness rather than risk their lives. Your life is worth more all the trouble.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Launna 22 February 2015 at 14:19

    Anuoluwapo , violence should never be accepted... I was in that situation myself when I married my husband... believe when a door was made for me to be able to get out, I got out and now I am the one in control... I take nothing anymore and I pray more women/people get that in their heads... It isn't easy as it never starts out big... it is little and you don't even notice but now I made a decision not to put up with the little stuff without saying how I feel and they need to understand... great post xox

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    Replies
    1. Anuoluwapo28 February 2015 at 01:58

      I'm happy for you. You've been there, maybe "they" would listen to you

      Delete
  5. yourstrulyblogposts.blogspot.com22 February 2015 at 23:24

    I completely abhor domestic violence and the fact that some people tolerate their abusive partner baffles me. If a man or woman hits you, simply walk away because you might lose your life if you do not

    ReplyDelete
  6. Janyl Benyl23 February 2015 at 16:43

    Every time I read about domestic violence, my heart bleeds
    It cuts very deep

    ReplyDelete
  7. Riike25 February 2015 at 01:03

    Hmmm, no one deserves to be abused

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  8. Cyclone26 February 2015 at 03:43

    Relationships are complicated just like human beings. In spite of the harm caused abused can find it difficult to give up on something they have heavily invested in. I believe we should support victims of domestic abuse but not place all the responsibility for tackling it on their shoulders. It's hard enough for them to cope with the daily suffering. However, it is a society problem and people around should find ways to help. Too often people see abuse happening but don't intervene for fear of being accused of interfering. It is society that creates the environment where domestic abuse thrives, and it is society that should take responsibility for addressing it. Families should do more. And more protection in law is required.

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    1. Anuoluwapo28 February 2015 at 02:08

      It's not a very easy thing interfering without being labelled, even by the abused. We don't have a proper system in place where we could call the police to report. We can not help someone who doesn't want to be helped. He/she needs to understand he/she needs help first. Else, she'll keep missing the nonsense and going back.

      I feel you're passionate about this cause. You can propose ways to help and carry us along. I'm thinking about something too, i'll contact you. Thanks. Xo

      Delete
  9. Cyclone28 February 2015 at 15:18

    Sometimes people who are suffering domestic abuse become disempowered and feel helpless so they aren't abl to act for themselves. It h lips them to know they can get help and be supported. This is why the cultural tendency not to interfere needs to be set aside in these cases.

    I would be happy to discuss the issues further.

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    Replies
    1. Anuoluwapo5 March 2015 at 15:30

      Sorry i've not gotten back to you, will do in a bit

      Delete
  10. Anonymous2 March 2015 at 10:29

    I grew up in a domestic. Vviolence home,saww my daddy beats my mum.i don't pray for that for myself.
    I was in one abusive relationship back then In school,the guy will beat me as if,i was a goat.everytime I had bruises,no one taught me to take the Next door out of the relationship .i didn't allow love blindfold me.lolz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anuoluwapo5 March 2015 at 15:31

      If only everyone could be like you. I'm happy for you.

      Delete
  11. ire6 March 2015 at 02:11

    Violence is a no!

    ReplyDelete

I refuse to be biased and judgemental. I look at issues from both sides of the coin, form my conclusions and allow you do same. Hopefully we can put ourselves straight in love.
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