Why I'm not married

When I saw the photo below I screamed "YES!" People have no chill whatsoever. They poke their noses into places they have no business in and complain about having catarrh.

I understand when a parent asks the daughter about her boyfriend. But when your old primary school mate, who you ran into at the mall, decides to carry "your being single", for head like gala, isn't there something wrong somewhere?

You see, most of them haven't even sorted their lives. We all have issues, right? But they will forming well wishers. Aproko! If you really care, pray for her, don't ask upsetting questions.

Someone, who has been married for about 8 years, was gisting me about how an acquaintance drove all the way to ask her what was happening in her home. Why she wasn't poping babies. She said she laughed while she asked "Nne, we're the same age na, when would you have a boyfriend?" EPIC! Okay but maybe she didn't have to hurt her like that but what did the acquaintance want to hear. These so called well-wishers would just spoil your mood and leave you upset. Don't allow them. What's anyone business with when you get married? If you rush in and it doesn't work, "they" will laugh oh.

Best way to show concern

A guy, with a little 18month old daughter, told me he and his wife have been actively trying for another baby for a while. Guess why! Because people had been pressuring them before the daughter was 12months to have another baby. I rest my case.

Don't let your issues weigh you down. Aim to be better at whatever it is you're up to. You're competing with the man you were yesterday, not someone who is doing better or worse than you are. Look at the brighter side. Be grateful for what you have and hopeful for that which you want. If you haven't noticed, someone is praying for what you have. So stop being so upset about what you don't have that you forget to enjoy what you have. Thanks for reading bloghearts. Love, Anuoluwapo.

Guest post

I met my learned colleague, Sopuru Christian, while in the Nigerian Law School, Kano and did he make an impression? I was elated when I received his message saying he had a post for us. I'm sorry I'm just putting this up. Thanks Sopuru. Yes, you can also send in your posts, i'll be glad to put them up. Continue to read his story.

BIBLE CHALLENGE
Today I just dragged myself off the bed. The morning dew was still dripping down the glass windows. Today was one of those days you just didn’t feel like stepping off the bed. The birds gave that soft coo-coo that made you want to sleep more. My roommate was still deep in sleep and I didn’t want him to  out-sleep me.  But I knew I had lectures by 8am. If I didn’t stand up now to read the Bible, now that it was still 6am in the morning, I was going to drift back to sleep and wake up by 7, by which time, I will be in a rush to eat, bath and go to school.

I made for the Bible that was sitting quite comfortably on the plastic table on the corner of the room. As I reached for the Bible, my phone rang. Immediately I was done with the call, I dumped my Bible back on the table where I had picked it up from and immediately picked up my books. My friend had just informed me that he had confirmed that what we had this morning was no lecture, but that the lecturer was going to give us a surprise test too. It was understandable that I had to dump my Bible today. I had hardly read anything on that course.  By the way I can read my Bible this evening when I came back from all of today’s running around.
The next day.

I really cannot account for all that happened yesterday. Today I was a little determined to read the Bible. I made my way to the table but I could not find my Bible. I remembered then that my friend next door had called me to request permission to carry my Bible to a night vigil. The other translation around was a King James Bible, and trust me, you don’t want to start your day with some King James! My roommate had a newer translation, but then I had to wait until he was awake to borrow it from him. Some ideas bumped into my head. Some of the ideas suggested I just walk around to ‘hail’ my neighbors, but I would have none of that.

As these things were going through my head, my friend from next door bumped into my room. The unique thing about this my friend was that he always didn’t have time to cook, but he had ample time to eat with anyone who had the time to cook. He wanted to know if I had fetched water from the tap yesterday. Our house tap does not run every morning. Sometimes it just pretty much runs in the evening and that was it. Those who were wise enough always got enough water for the next day during those evening spurts. Clearly my friend needed water and I obliged him.  I guessed it was not just water that my friend wanted. His next statement was to affirm that my position.
“Are you making food this morning?” he asked.
I told him that the fact that I had no lectures this morning did not translate into fasting and prayer.
“Ok o,” he said between chuckles, “I will ‘show’ when you’re done cooking.”

As he left, my roommate opened his eyes. Evidently the noise my ‘visitor’ was making had disturbed him. He asked to know if it was ‘bluetooth’-for that was the name we had given the young man, that just came in. I laughed and told him that it was surely him.
He then told me that the room next door had collected our kerosene container together with the kerosene inside and had not even returned the container. I was angry. In fact angry was a word too mild to reflect how I felt.  I jumped off the chair I had been sitting on and stormed in to the next room.
“Who dared use up my kerosene without letting me know?” I thundered at the people I met in the room. They rose to defend themselves and before long, altercations began.

At the end, I did not read any Bible that day. Who even reads the Bible on the day he and his neighbour just finished shouting at each other?

The next morning, when I opened my eyes I was face to face with the Bible as I had rolled over to the edge of the bed with my back to the ceiling and my face to the floor. It looked like my friend had returned my Bible, but had now dumped it beside the bed for me. My roommate was still soundly asleep. I picked it up and dusted off the little dust that had settled on it. I opened the pages I saw a devotional inside it. Somehow my friend who had borrowed the Bible had forgotten the devotional inside it. I opened the devotional for that particular day in the calendar. The devotional spoke to me. It referred me to Philippians Chapter four as the passage for the day. On second thoughts I picked up my phone and switched it off. I got up and shut the door firmly; surely the devil would be away today. I read Philippians chapter four, the message from the passages was touching. Soon I was to wander off in thoughts. I remembered that although we had exams in two weeks time, I still hadn’t paid the fees. My thoughts wandered but my eyes were still on the passage I was reading. This continued for a while until my eyes fell on the verse fourteen of the passage. It read
 “But my God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”

Tears came to my eyes as I saw God’s word come alive to me. When I was done, my spirit was doubly exhilarated. God has through the Bible given me hope.

That afternoon my mother called me. She told me that my aunty had phoned in from Lagos. My mother told her that I needed money for my school fees. She had promised to transfer the money and actually did transfer the money later in the afternoon. I was just full of praise to God.

Today unlike yesterday and the day before, I had won the challenge over the devil. I had finally read my Bible.

Thanks for reading bloghearts. Love, Anuoluwapo.

Let's talk euthanasia

Euthanasia is mercy killing. A patient on finding out he has been rendered helpless due to an occurrence, old age, deformity, psychological or medical condition may decide to take his life. Where he is incapable of making such decisions or giving consent, a family member, next of kin or any other person authorized to do so, may. Euthasia has some categorizations such as

1. Active euthanasia: Informed specific steps are taken to cause the patient's death through the introduction of certain medications.
2. Passive euthanasia: Withdrawal of medical treatment, e.g. life support or medications with the intention of causing the patient's death.
3. Voluntary euthanasia: The patient takes the decision to end his life.
4. Involuntary euthanasia: Due to the person's incapacity to give consent, the decision is taken by someone else.
5. Assisted suicide: Here, a doctor does not administer provides medical treatment to end the patient's life. He however makes it available to the patient.

There are two main schools of thought. The first believe in the doctrine of sanctitity of life. Life is sacred and one shouldn't take what he can't give no matter the circumstance. An argument against euthanasia is that even people who are not terminally ill will ask for it. Suicide could as well be legalized. It would become a means of saving money. People would be quick to choose saving money over caring for the patient.

The second believes in the doctrine of quality of life. They advocate that life should be worth it. Also, a life in a poor state as a result of old age, terminal illness, etc, does not deserve being watched to linger in agony. Rather than watch a patient in acute pain, give him a painless death (euthanasia). An argument for it is that it is expensive to keep treating a terminally ill patient. Why waste money, emotions and time over someone that would die? The government or relatives can use the resources on some other "important" matters. Another is that euthanasia is a dignified way to die as against watching a person have a painful, gruesome and slow death. Then why keep a person alive when you're told, even if he pulls through, he'll be a "vegetable"?

Now that I've given a general background, what school of thought do you belong to? Me? I don't think it will be easy to give up. I also know living with, or watching a loved one live with, pains is difficult. We'll never be put in a situation where we'll have to choose. Amen. I hope to read and learn from your views. 

If you're anti-euthanasia and would love to reach out to and show love to the terminally ill, please contact me. My lecturer who is very passionate about it heads an NGO that supports the terminally ill. I would also give details as to the related activities coming up next month. Thanks for reading :* Anuoluwapo.

Body enhancements

On my way home from school, I had an hilarious conversation about body enhancers with a classmate. It started from body shapers to padded bras to silicones and then bum pants.

You see, nowadays what you see isn't what you get. You can't judge a "book" by it's cover any more. Maybe you should stop drooling over instagram photos. You think she is sexier than your wife? Wait till she unleashes the ermerm *coughs* How would you feel if you get home on your wedding night to find that your over sexy bride is flat chested, has a Yokosuka waist or no behind? It's no big deal shey? Lmao. It may start a domestic war especially if it's something that the hubby can't stand.

There's so much packaging - hair, makeup, nails, boobs, waist, bum, hips, high heel shoes, complexion, accent, ... Ladies are really trying. Upon the crazy heat, we still nack everything together. Most times, it's not to attract men but to feel good and confident about ourselves and maybe to oppress (or prevent oppression from) other ladies. How come men don't package their bodies? Wear muscle pads and co? Abi wallet pads are sufficient?

I don't think there's anything wrong with it, whatever rocks your boat girl. Padded bra and pants are cheaper and safer alternatives to cosmetic surgery. It's easy to say "Love your body, be confident and wear your skin as it is" but not so easy to practice. I'm a girl, I know the struggle. Very few ladies are at peace with their bodies. Even though many are very okay, we still want a flatter tummy, fuller/peckier bust, smaller waist, rounder bum, longer legs, pointy nose, gap tooth,... Many are okay but not content. Some have genuine issues they wish could be sorted like conspicuously uneven boobs. Who want one lepa breast and an orobo one? Such a person may decide to pad the lepa one to give an even appearance. Anything wrong with that? Don't be so quick to judge, but you can.

Thanks for reading bloghearts. I was grinning from ear to ear writing this. Hope you're doing same reading. Kindly share your view or say hello. Love, Anuoluwapo.

I'm not a feminist

Well, I don't fully understand the concept of feminism and I'm not particularly interested. I want everybody - Women, Men and children, treated fairly. Work hard, study hard. When you lead your set or head your organisation, no one can take it from you. It's not a competition against men or your colleagues, you're working on yourself - making yourself better.

I still want a man to open a door for me and help me lift objects, doesn't mean I won't kick his behind in the board meeting. I want to tell my hubby "The mechanics' place isn't for ladies" and have him spend the day at the workshop. I know ladies who do the mechanics. So, before you tell me you do, let me tell you I don't envy you.

Now, some of my classmates have noticed that, on my way to and from school, I would rather give women rides. Ehn now, what do you expect? It's not like I don't pick men but when there are ladies also standing by the road, I'm picking the ladies. It upsets me when men struggle with ladies to get in. I always want to scream "Oh my God! What happened to ladies first? Doesn't your body do you one kain when you physically struggle with a lady? What if you hurt her?" but instead I calmly say "Sorry sir, I stopped for the ladies, please let them come in."

If I'm in a position to help, I, first of all, consider based on merits and then I tend to favour ladies sensibly. I wouldn't for instance choose to help a rude lady over a nice guy. Or at most, I give both sexes equal chances. Isn't it normal? If I don't help my fellow woman, who will? However, I still expect a man to pick up a lady over a man by the road side, if he has to choose. Does that make me a feminist? I presume "Ladies first" had been a common statement/norm before the doctrine of feminism was birth.

After thinking about it, it seems to me that, like Hannah Montana, I want the best of both worlds. A bit of here and there, supporting the female folk and still have the men choose to support us over their fellow men. There are many other ways we support men na, abi? Allowing them help us is a privilege to them. Take note men.

What do you think? Thanks for reading, Anuoluwapo.

Because I'm happy

I wouldn't agree less that the lawn isn't greener on the other lawn. You shouldn't compare your situation with another's. You really don't know what's going on with him or her.

I was telling someone recently how a mutual friend of ours is happy. Well, she seems happy to me. You know how someone is happy and it's infectious? Yes, that's her kind of happy. And she goes "People pretend joor. Don't judge by the cover?" Ahah, why should I second guess my friend. If she seems unhappy, I would be worried. Now she seems very happy, i'm ecstatic. I would rather this than she "tabling" job or relationship issues.

It seems to me like we're not happy to see others happy. That you know someone's issues doesn't mean you know they are unhappy. Some refuse to mop around and stay happy despite their challenges. See, we all have challenges. Don't let anything take your joy. Life is too short to be unhappy for a minute. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, laugh/smile as much as you can today. The burdens, may not disappear but,  would feel lighter once you choose to be and you are truely happy.

Also, that a person lives a different and unusual lifestyle from ourselves doesn't mean they are unhappy. Honestly, if we're happy we'll wish for everyone to be happy and we wouldn't have the time to check out who seems to be pretending to be happy or energy to bring others down.

Thanks for reading. I hope you get my point. I'm sorry I've not been so regular in posting and responding to
 comments. Blame it on my network provider and NEPA PHCN. Some are happy, some may pretend to be happy, you get to choose your side. Love,  Anuoluwapo.

*P.S. Tabling = Discussing

LOL

Hi bloghearts, how are you doing? I thought to share some of the funny photos on my phone. Hope you have a good laugh even if you've seen one or all of them before. Thanks for coming back. I have a post waiting to be posted. Do come back. Love, Anuoluwapo.

Add caption

 

There is another way

"I am a very respectable young lady and I was not in any way trying to seduce the President with the outfit I wore. I had two outfits for the event, one was for my performance and the other was worn after I performed. The dress I was pictured in with the President was what I wore during my performance. I came on stage and greeted everyone according to their culture and I did the same for Mr. President. He was impressed and he asked where and how I knew how to greet in his native dialect and I said I learnt it. That was what brought about the giggling and smiles in the picture. I’m a performer and what I do on stage doesn’t reflect my everyday life. I had two outfits on that day and it was a youth event. Who wouldn’t feel overwhelmed meeting the President? Well, I did and I felt honoured because it is not every day you get to meet the president of your country,” Seyi Shay.

I felt sorry for Seyi when a classmate showed me these photos in class the other day. It's not her fault naa. #DesperateTimesRequireDesperateMeasures #MrPresidentMustNoticeMe #IHaveNoShame.

I couldn't overlook her guts to reply "us" saying she wasn't trying to seduce the President. Okay dear, who was your target? Do you think we have "tribal marks" on our brains? *no offense intended* Can you go for a job interview or an important meeting dressed like this? If you don't have sense, what happened to your stylists', friends', record label mates'. Don't tell me you picked the ratchet dress to an important gathering yourself. Fire your stylist today!! And get some sense girl.

Remember Omoni Oboli, an actress, wife and mother (to 3 boys?) pulled the same stunt sometime ago. She, on the other hand, was remorseful in her response. Aren't the President's aides supposed to screen who meets the president? There should be an "appearance" of responsibility. Mama Peace don't sleep on a bicycle oh.

I deduced, from Dj Jimmy Jatt's interview last night, that entertainers take us for granted. In this words, "You don't see bankers and lawyers twitfighting unlike entertainers."

No one is saying you should perform in suits before heat will finish you but we're interested in the music not your "behind" and "before." Remember the lovely Tiwa Savage showing us beneath her black beautiful? You do not have to be pressured into conforming. Standing out pays. Look at Lady Gaga, Charly Boy and Denrele, Nneka, Omawumi and Asa. 

Thanks for reading *keycees* :D Anuoluwapo.

Pwetty pweez

Have you been wondering about the daily introduction of new abbreviations and slang expressions too? You have? Me too! Well, like they say, ''to each his/their own'' - I'm not so sure. I mean, it's not my business how you choose to communicate with your friends or family outside the office but can people just keep official duties really official?!

I used to be very much into abbreviations in the past too and would even ask of the meaning of new ones I notice around from friends. Until, I realized that they were beginning to find their way into more serious businesses. So, I quickly swerved and started writing like I was originally taught to. Even though I don't criticize people when I see them write using various slang expressions and near-silly abbreviations on social media and the likes. But it becomes an issue for me when I see grown ups communicate with these silly abbreviations when discussing serious issues. Truth be told, it has even become a turn-off for me.

In the past (post my self redemption), I just read to understand such slang embedded messages when they come my way and move on. Until recently, precisely last December when a certain lady submitted a proposal for the supply of Christmas gifts for staff in my office and the proposal was far from official. Courtesy of all the, ''the-s'' written as ''d'', final ''thank you'' written as ''10Q'', ''I look forward to a favorable response... written as ''I luk 4ward 2 a favorabu response...'' and more. Common! Believe me, I really do not have anything against abbreviations in personal texts or on social media, but when will people learn to draw the line between work and play? Whoever told her she needed to sound ''funky'' or add a little ''swag'' to her business proposal. It's more annoying when words of just a few alphabets are spelt with even more characters in the name of ''funkitude'' E.g - kisses as ''keyceees''. Sometimes even with more ''e-s''. ''you'' spelt as ''yew'' or ''yhu''. All three spellings are just three alphabets, why not just spell it right?! You see, it's not about wanting to save time or being lazy with typing? It's about people following a trend for the sake of feeling among or appearing funky or whatever.

That was last year and I don't even remember discussing the proposal with anybody until I got a mail from a Lawyer this morning requesting that I ''pls'' scan some documents across to her and I got irritated. This is a Lawyer that I've never seen to talk of having a cordial relationship with her. The only form of communication between us has been through mails, all from me to her. None of which she ever acknowledges. Until this morning when she needed something from me directly obviously not wanting any of our superiors to be involved and I get a mail full of, ''goodmawnin'' ''pls'' ''dis'' ''n'' ''10ks'' and the likes. No capitalization. And then the request was in between ordering and requesting. ''goodmawnin, can u help me scan d cert. of incorporation n address of so,so,so. I will be waiting. 10ks.'' I replied her that I didn't have the documents, that she should contact my boss directly who would in turn hand them over to me before I can scan them across to her. #thedocumentsarewithinmyreach *popsgum* *dontjudgeme*

Though some of these abbreviations have been incorporated into formal languages but not in writing. i.e. ''gonna'' ''wanna'' and maybe a few others I can't remember or think of right now. Which should even be used''overseas'' and not here. Tell me why we have to ''gonna'' and ''wanna'' in Nigeria? LOL. I'm serious though.

I remember I used to write "pwetty"  and the likes a few years back. Now I can't stand it, even in bbm chats. It's not like you're managing your keypad and shortening please to pls. Pretty and pwetty have the same number of alphabets so what could the problem be? Even that Kk of a thing. Sometime last year I asked a lawyer friend for directions which she gave. I said thanks but had to ask someone else because I couldn't understand her. How was I to know TJ is Tanke Junction? Without meeting you physically, someone chatting with you should be able to tell if you're a Secondary School student, an undergraduate or a graduate.

I knew I had to share this when I saw it on my blogger friend, Eniwealth's page. You know her right? She has given the go ahead to share her articles here. Let the "importation" begin, whoop whoop. Errrm, we're still going to ask her before sharing though. Thank you Eniwealth. Thanks for reading bloghearts. Love, Anuoluwapo.

*In Toinlicious voice* Dear Sir/Ma, We are sorry

Is that your business?

I wonder why people take it upon themselves to give opinions on issues that do not concern them. You are under worked, kindly set up a meeting with your boss for me. It must have taken some time to critically analyse, draw conclusions and then proffer recommendations. Doesn't that reek jobless?

Have you finished sorting yourself? Your family? Okay, how about you improve yourself? Take a course? Learn a skill or a new hobby? No? So why are you having sleepless nights and work less days over Titi's skirt length, who is or isn't doing well, who is always turnt up or Dayo who is cheating on Susan?

There are some gossips who would table Tiwa's matter in prayer meetings under the guise of prayers. Aproko no be work, mind ya business.

Thanks for reading bloghearts. Love, Anuoluwapo.