About me - randomness

I went to relax here and saw we were tagged. The idea is to put up 20 random things about me so you can get to know me better. Thank you Moby, i'm honoured. Read Moby's

1. I'm nocturnal.

2. I think about making money alot. I just want to be successful. #CEO #Forbeslist #Amen

3. I want a home filled with kids and dogs and maybe an orphanage.

4. I'll love to be more active with church and the things of God.

5. I play solitaire alot. 

6. I can't sing but I love to dance.

7. I love school. I'm as surprised as you are.

8. I do not know how to apply makeup, even powder *covers face* #Teamnaturaleverything

9. I love to travel. Road trip? I'm game.

10. I tend to be impatient.

11. I'm not a tv/movie person. I do not concentrate, I just want to see how it ends.

12. I can live without music.

13. I can't stand kids/people with no courtesy. 

14. I can talk for 24hours and not say anything personal.

15. Pests/parasites irritate me. People that think they are smart living off others.

16. My favourite spot is my home. If I don't visit/hang out with you, it doesn't mean I don't love you. I don't want you barging in on me too.

17. I'm a huge fan of teas (without milk and sugar) and I think beverages are for kids.

18. I seem to have mood swings but they aren't really. I'm just not attaching so much relevance to you after you did that. Forgive? I have o

19. I don't like when I send one sentence and you send 10, dude chill!

20. Favourite colour= beige, songs = Michelle Williams' When Jesus say yes (I relate to the lyrics), Nikki Laoye's 123 (nice beats), food = beans.

I'm extending the tag to Eniwealth

I was tempted to put up a photo of me but then I realised that's what instagram is for. Do follow me @tarabauer_ Twitter is @tara_bauer. Maybe some bloghearts will be interested in sharing random things about them? tarabauer01@gmail.com. Thank you.

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Start your weekend with a LOL tomorrow. Okizle would be writing in. Thanks for reading yesterday, tomorrow and in between. Xoxo, Anuoluwapo.

19 months married, I want a divorce

One minute they are in love, they next they are separated. They were all over the internet but filing divorce papers after 2years. It's really disheartening and I always wonder what went wrong. All of the 3 amazing Wang dresses and paparazi, my love, Kim Kardashian's marriage was over after 72days. Eva Longoria's marriage was over after 3 years. Courteney Cox's was over merely two years after she was quoted to have said "Divorce isn't really an option." Arnold Schwarzenegger's was over after 25years. Heidi Klum and Seal had yearly vows but that didn't stop the divorce. Reese Witherspoon 7years. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, Katy Perry and Russel Brands, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom, Kris and Bruce Jenner, Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt, Sandra Bullock and Jesse James and so many others.

No, it's not just an Oyinbo thing. There are Nigerians separating after 3days, a week , 2 months. Some don't even leave the reception together. Our own Funke Akindele's marriage to Kehinde Oloyede was over in a year. Chika Ike, Dino and Tokunbo Melaye, Faithia and Saheed Balogun, Rev Chris Okotie and Tina/Stephanie Henshaw, Monalisa Chinda, Moji Olaiya, Princess, Clarion Chukwura, Kenny Saint Brown, Fred and Agatha Amata, Shan George, Jennifer Eliogu, Nzogi Ezeonu, Jackie Appiah, Mercy Aigbe. Some have remarried while others are embracing their single status.

Neither is it a celebrity thing. Everyone has at least one relative that is divorced/separated. So don't bring any perfection here. Nowadays we have dating anniversaries. 1, 6, 10, 12 year anniversaries yet the rate at which couples separate escalates. It is very important to know and understand each other to some extent before taking the big step. However, dating for so long doesn't guarantee a lasting happy home. Many times, the "shine" would have been lost even before you say I do. You're just managing so that the years wouldn't be in vain, so people wouldn't laugh at you. My dear, a broken relationship is always better than a broken marriage. You think people still won't mock you more after a divorce or when they hear you're unhappy in your marriage? Don't manage, if the relationship isn't working, take a walk.

Many times we see it coming but we refuse to acknowledge it. Funke Akindele and Sandra Bullock are respectively Nigeria and America's sweethearts. When so many people, or even one, are against what one is doing, one should take some time out to ponder over it before arriving at a decision. All they saw was "love", "we" saw more. Sandra married America's bad boy and Funke married a man with children from different baby mamas. Faithia changed her religion because of love.

We are getting educated and getting paid. Our hustles are tight. Some have more educational qualifications, get better pays and work longer hours than their husbands. Submission then becomes a near impossible task. We even want to retain our maiden names or join our maiden and married names. We want our own identity. I'm not saying these are bad. I'm showing us some of the things that may have worked for our grandmoms. We can't take half of what our moms and grandmoms took. It's their submission, patience, humility and perseverance that worked for them.

We say relationships are hard work, wait till you get married. Don't be scared, it's full of fun and happiness living with one's bestie. When you get married, it goes from romantic to real. Sweet boyfy assumes the role of boyfy, hubby, brother, father, grandfather, ancestor and Oga at the top. The day the father side shows it's face, it may not leave you smiling. It goes from "anything you want, anyhow you want it baby" to "I'm the head of this home, do not ask for it" LOL. There is more to posting wedding photos and stories online. Maybe we should reduce that. Noise/attention doesn't do well with marriage. You attract "things" that should be left sleeping.

Challenges will come, be prepared. Be sure you're ready to spend forever with him/her. If she loses her beauty to acid, fire or an accident will you still be in love? If she goes from a model to a yokosuna? What if he loses his job, his limbs or she can't have a baby or you have unruly BAD kids? If she'll rather party or he'll hang with the boys all night? If he loses his sight or she loses her memory in an accident? Will your love crumple like a pack of cards? Anything can happen and somethings will happen.

Love is never enough. You need a good attitude to go with it and realize that your spouse won't be perfect. You need to be prepared. Read books, go for counselling and open your eyes. Be ready to understand, tolerate and compromise even if it was never an option for you. Don't settle, don't manage, set the right priorities and stand by it. It's better to be single praying to be married than married praying to be single. Don't let love make you myopic. When you're advised not to marry someone outside your religion, it's for your good. Life is like football, anything can happen. People change. When the kids start rolling in, your hubby/in-laws suddenly realizes that the kids should practice their religion as  against your earlier decision. When they say don't marry a man beneath your status (educational, age, financial, etc), you talk about love. Tomorrow, the guy loses his "non-existent" self-esteem, feels threatened by you and picks a fight over everything. Is that what you want?

There are no hard or fast rules about some things like financial and educational status and age as long as God is the foundation. You'll get to know your partner that "see-finish" will set in, you'll spend so much time together that you'll get bored and many times annoy yourselves. There will be lots of time you'll forget what brought you two together, love may not be evident and you wish you were single. Your heart will do you film trick. It may even be during your honeymoon that you'll find another lady attractive or you meet a man three years after that you feel gets you. That's when God comes in, keeping you from doing stupid things and bringing you two back together stronger everyday, after every argument. Helps you overlook the little things that get to you. Even if you left home upset, you come back to a warm cosy God and love filled home.

The christian community was upset with a side full of hate and the other praying when Evangelist Benny Hinn and his wife went their separate ways. They are back together, stronger I believe, all thanks to God. They must have put it a lot of work and "God" and had people praying for them. It hardly happens like this for many others.

We shouldn't judge or look down on divorcees or people having issues in their home. It can happen to anyone and when we hear what some of them went through, we really can't blame them and then many of us may have cracked even before they did. I pray God in his mercy will not only choose for us but keep our homes. Ours will be exemplary homes. Challenges will come but we won't fall. Amen! Thanks to Toyin for the topic, I hope you like what I made of it. Thanks bloghearts for reading. Xoxo, Anuoluwapo.

N.B. I forgot to mention in my last post that I did something on the settings. Hopefully there won't be complaints on comments anymore. If you commented on four posts in Chinese (or a language that isn't English or a nigerian language) kindly message me tarabauer01@gmail.com. A fun post from a brother should be up on Friday. Start your weekend with a LOL.

Men too

*Boyfy = Boyfriend

 Shine = excitement

 Film trick = fast one

 Oyinbo = Westernised

 See-finish = "Familiarity breeds contempt"

Friendship sucks

Yes, friendship sucks when you have to walk on egg shells trying not to offend your friend. If you don't tell her "hey girl, you really messed up this time" or "you have to stop being stupid", who should? I don't even see why you should sugarcoat it. That's for acquaintances.

A friend messaged me sometime. He said I embarrassed him at prom and I couldn't remember. Apparently I saw him do something. My body used to be very hot then, I can imagine giving it to him real and hot. This is a friend I love so dearly and would never want to embarrass. You know what? He is now grateful I said something. Every other person might have had the same thoughts as I did but nobody spoke. Friends speak.

But then, people won't let you rest. You get angry too much, you don't mind your business, that's not how to speak to people, etc. I'm not saying be rude but please pass your message clearly without fear. Do not get into his business. Never! But you see your friend missing it, you have to let him know. Taking or ditching it is up to him. Hopefully, your friend will remember that you've always loved and had his back. He may not be pleased, truth is bitter you know? Remember the yoruba adage that says if two brothers come out smiling after having a serious conversation, they didn't tell each other the truth. Don't be upset if he doesn't take it smiling. You may react in a similar way if you were in his shoes.

Nowadays, I keep my opinions to myself because
(1) I'm not perfect. I feel I should remove the log in my eyes. I also do not want to come across as feeling I'm better or anything.
(2) The friend is an adult and knows better.
(3) I don't like when people give me unsolicited advice. I shouldn't dish it out.
(4) I don't expect anyone to get into my business or invade my privacy, even in the name of friendship. So I wait till I'm asked.

I saw a "danger" I felt a friend wasn't seeing. I explained to her. She was appreciative and then she went and did it, which didn't bother me, but now it's hard for her to get out. People who aren't in the "situation" as you are often have a clearer unbiased view. I do not believe in dictating to anyone, who isn't your minor ward. You just help them see clearly and maybe open up options. Decision making is
totally out of your job specifications.

A friend had been saying something. I say no to it but I'm sure she doesn't know i'm totally against it. She is an adult right? So I never said anything more. Recently she mentioned it again and I only said one thing very very nicely. I guess you can't just tell some people the truth, no matter how nicely you put it, without becoming an "hater." I didn't even say everything, yet she didn't like it. I'm sorry I upset her. I should have kept my mouth shut as usual and left her to her life. But that's not what friendship is about. It's about saying it clearly, whether she likes the sound or not. You owe your friend that. When your friend isn't doing well, you aren't.

Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut but then who will be truthful with me? I think it's better to be without friends than to be diplomatic with friends. Sheer waste of time, energy and resources. Thank you for reading bloghearts. I got nothing but love for you.

*My body used to be very hot then = I used to get pretty worked up

Christian nightclub, turn up?

The first time I heard about a Christian night club. I gave a "you must be crazy look" while I asked "Really?" I was in SSS3/year 1 of University when after church a contemporary and a bros invited me. The bros was going to start one. Honestly, I would have gone to a regular club. I felt if you're going to eat a frog, eat one with eggs. If you're going to do something wrong, you can as well do wrong the right way. I would rather waste my time partying away at Enigma than at your hypocritical service to God. I really don't want to judge but it didn't seem the bros loved Jesus that much. He just wanted money. How dare you turn God into a business? Why would adults want to mislead the younger ones. Painting bad in a good light. I'm sure the church would have slammed him if they heard. Maybe they did because I didn't hear he started.

If there are no Christian clubs in Nigeria, i'm sure there is someone seriously considering it. I read that Christian nightclubs are springing up all across America especially in the largest cities. Apparently, the rationale behind this is that God is placing desires on the hearts of His people—desires to transform the lives of the unsaved through yet another transformation, that of a traditional club. The alcohol, smoke and racy lyrics are eliminated from the scene of these new clubs. Like attracting people to the kingdom through something catchy and interesting, a "good" club. It seems to be that the organizers want to eat their cake and have it. Club and still be holy. No alcohol, no smoking and all but really, what kind of dance would you dance there?  Brotherly Christian dance? *yimu*

What do to think about a gospel nightclub? Turning up to Tope Alabi and Kirk Franklin every weekend. Getting high on chapman and maybe non-alcoholic beer? Lol! Kind of sounds like good fun, enticing but is it right is the question. Been to one? What was it like?

Thanks for reading bloghearts *winks* Some people keep complaining about their inability to comment. I'm very sorry I did nothing about it. I will now. Does anyone know how to solve the problem please? Also, everyone asking for the special efo riro recipe, calm down. It's coming soon, I hope you won't be disappointed. No you won't! Xoxo, Anuoluwapo.

Let's do Anuchef

Hello sisi moller!

I thought to share this idea of my pancakes that's been winning hearts since ramadan of 2011! Lol,yes! It's my ramadan special. Enjoy 

INGREDIENTS:

Pancakes

• Flour
• Eggs
• Milk(evaporated)
• Sugar
• Water

Procedure

First of all, sorry I don't usually use measurements( bad habit, i know) but i'll try to describe quantity. Moving on,

• Get a clean bowl, preferably a deep one to make mixing easier, now you'll get a sieve to sieve ur flour(to get out any particles in it). 4 handfuls of flour.
• Add 2 big glass of water and mix into a smooth paste (you might have to sieve again incase of lumps)
• Get another bowl, break and beat egg,add half tin of milk,two teaspoons of sugar and mix.

‎Now u'll put those aside to make your veg filling

INGREDIENTS

• Carrot
• Cabbage
• Shrimps
• Green pepper
• Spring onions
• Maggi
• Salt

Procedure

• Grate cabbage and carrot using the not so tiny grater holes.
• Dice green pepper, spring onions.
• Boil shrimps with 1 seasoning cube.
• Fry all ingredients in very tiny oil adding a cube of maggi and a pinch of salt on low heat for about ten minutes or till soft.

Now we'll move back to‎ our flour, add egg and milk mixture and stir.

• Get a non-stick frying pan
• Add very tiny oil but make sure it spreads round the pan
• Add your mi‎xed flour to fry until both sides are slightly brown

After frying, put in a side plate, fill with u fried veg and roll.

Find in this mail, attached picture to see what it looks like. I hope u find this helpful and interesting.

More recipes to come,maybe.

Xo Larmmie

N.B sorry I'm not too good with write ups,edit where necessary.

Yummy! Thank you so much Larmmie. I'm not a pancake fan but I enjoyed it. I have small hands so the hand measurement wouldn't work for me. I used 3 cups of flour, 4 tablespoons of sugar, 2 tablespoons of powdered milk. I also added a nutmeg (grated). I didn't include shrimps in my filling. I added sweet corn, green peas and sausages though. *licks lips*

You really should try it out. Got recipes for us, kindly message me tarabauer01@gmail.com. Maybe i'll show you how I make my sexy efo riro next week *winks* Thanks for complaining yesterday about not putting a post up. Lol! I'm sorry about that. Thanks for reading. Love you plenty. Serious talk tomorrow? You don't want to miss it.

If only I had a baby

So someone messaged me asking for our advice. Like really? Hard to believe but super cool. I think she needs support and encouragement most of all. Here it is

Hello Anuoluwapo,
First of all, I totally LOVE your blog! It's so refreshing and different from gossip blogs. Real mature stuff on here. I don't get around to commenting but I'm addicted. You sound so young (like you know what's up) and so old (full of wisdom). Thank you.
I write to you because i'm unhappy and think I can get mature advice here. I've been married 6years and never been pregnant for a minute. I'm usually happy and happy for those who have babies. Recently, an unmarried friend recently got knocked up. She is so dear to my heart and I visit often. I know she likes that I visit but she favours another friend over me. She'll rather have that friend hold her baby and do stuff for her. Even her mum prefers the friend over me because she talks all about cleaning and cooking. Sorry, I don't see any reason talking about my home and being an ITK. I was so hurt by them yesterday. I put up a smile as always but I'm still hurt. If only I had a baby. What do I do?
Please hide my identity. Thank you.


Dear anon,
I'm sorry you feel that way. I really don't think you should take it personally. I'm glad you're happy for others. There are so many babies in heaven, so whoever gets a baby didn't take yours. Talk to a doctor while you patiently wait. I could think of four options on how to deal with your friend:

1. Forgive in advance and don't take to heart.
2. Reduce the frequency of your visits.
3. Stop visiting and be a friend from afar.
4. Speak with your friend about it, she may/may not mention to her mom. Possible outcomes?
(a) It may not be intentional and they stop doing what hurts you
(b) It may not be intentional but they start acting awkward.
(c) It may not be intentional and they do not care about how you feel.
(d) It may not be intentional and they think you're jealous or overly sensitive.
(e) It may be intentional, they are sorry and make adjustments.
(f) It may be intentional and they don't care.

Hopefully, you'll get advice from other readers. Remember Psalm 126:5? "Those who sow in tears will reap in joy." Thanks for your kind words *e-hugs* Maybe you could start commenting. I love you.
Thanks for reading, Kindly drop kind words/advice. Xoxo, Anuoluwapo.

Old mama ayounge

Permit me to rant about people I call "old mama ayounge". She is 42 but sees a 17 year old when she looks in the mirror. A mommy that refuses to leave the arena for the younger ones. Chopping life to her grave. Oshey mama mi, ori yin wa nibe. Ori mama e senpe. Lol! Afmag Yoruba taught me those. Iyabo Oko and Lola Idije things.

Everyone should have fun, age definitely isn't a barrier but reasonable healthy fun. A grandmom lost her home because she was addicted to picking asoebi, painting her face and turning up any where turnable to the family's detriment. Isn't that rather shameful? No she isn't ashamed. She is still painting the town red.

Mummy Tope, at age 44, excited about Thursday Ladies Night at Club Enigma? You, sef, are talking turn up. Please roll down and sleep, turn up to work in the morning. Even 20year olds reminisce about their clubbing days.
Why is 35 year old Aunty Christie looking for low waist pants? And 63year old, Grandma to 4, Mrs Ita, have her boobs all out like that?  Shouldn't you be correcting the younger ones? It can't only be boredom, lack of self esteem, priority, life goals? Kindly enlighten us.

You're not expected to look shabby. You should age gracefully, dress, carry yourself and talk appropriately. Age appropriately. So because a 12year old is wearing a crop top, you think you can do same and offend our senses? Please stop it. Are you going to have Mickey Mouse and the Jonas brothers at your birthday too? Would you be pleased if you adult child acts like a teenager? I hope not.

You're not 16, get a life! A decent respectable one. You should be embarrassed your girl is doing that. Your involvement is utterly disgraceful. Leave all silliness and childishness in the university. If you're still living the life you were living years away, on the fast lane, there is a problem. Life is in stages, don't carry over the youthful exorberance of the past stages into the new one. Otherwise you can go back to having milk and baby food. You don't have to be 30 to be responsible. If you're 18, you can go to jail, you can get married, get a job, drink, smoke, drop traces of childishness. Of course, you're not expected to be stuck up and act 40 but you also can not act 12.

Many ways to have fun vacation, road trip, support a cause, join a dance class, head to the movies, beach, lunch/dinner with your girlfriends, join a unit in church, adopt a hobby. Maybe you should look at Woman's weekly and Woman's own magazine, they put up lovely age appropriate outfits for all ages.

Thank you for reading. Since we're talking turn up and some friends have been asking about my birthday. We be turning up to a Holy Ghost filled vigil on Friday night. Evangelism by God's grace on Saturday. Finally, a power filled  revival service on Sunday. It's going to be so much fun.  LOL!

N.B. I never said wearing crop tops, clubbing, drinking and smoking are good. Thank you.

Social network etiquettes

Why are you shaking your behind on social media? Putting up videos of you (or anyone else) on youtube or instagram is stupid. Stop bothering your head on why decent men are on your lane. Being a lady would suit you. Remove such videos. You can have fun with your friends but you shouldn't have it on film, at all. Haven't you left from others' scandals. Wait till you want to contest an election or have a big opportunity/position open before you.

Please spell correctly. You're a graduate and you write "pretty" as "pwetty" or "Hardeyfunkeh" instead of "Adefunke." If I were employing, I would go on social networks and see what kind of updates, photos and videos posted by the potentials. It gives me an insight into your person.

You don't have to have a job before you carry yourself respectably and professionally. Why is your profile name Baddest babe ever liveth or Davido's bitch. You come across as not just thirsty but as severely dehydrated.

Don't be rude. No tweet fights. Thank you.

No flirting. No talking about sex, with random people, on the internet. Stop gushing about boys. I know the brothers are fine but refuse to be thirsty. There is a difference between "Michael Ealy is so cute" and "Michael Ealy shirtless is so yummy", "So many things I can do to you Boris Kodjo."

If you put out your business on facebook, please do not be offended when people mind your business for you. You sure did invite them. Eat it, drink it but don't post it. Stop the fad of posting photos of your "expensive" meals. It is none of our business. If we talk, you'll say we're not minding our business. I see people posting their location on facebook and instagram. I don't think you should put your business out like that.

It's not avenue for you to brag or show off your possessions. Why are you showing us your new wristwatch, car or bag. It's hermes so what? That's rather shabby. Ladies don't brag or show off. Quick example: Genevieve Nnaji posts a photo of herself in denim, chiffon blouse, pandora hat, simple jewelry and a nice pair of boots and captions it "Have a great day lovers." The love of my life, Linda Ikeji may put up a nice photo and caption it "Funmi hair, Rolex watch, Versace camisole, Armani blazer, Carolina Herrera skirt and Christian Louboutin shoes." I think Linda's caption is very unnecessary and Genevieve's look may even be more expensive than her's. Big people are allergic to noise, they can't shout. "Ti esu eni ba ta, a maa fowo bo je ni." Enjoy the fruits of your hardwork but with sense.

You take one nice photo and you tag the world. It's really not nice flooding my notifications with likes and comments from your photo. Kindly untag me now. Thanks.

Stop pretending to be CNN, TMZ and LIB. Don't flood our TL with news, we know where to find them if we want too.

Don't portray yourself to be who you're not. Don't be intimidated by people on there. Shine your eyes,  most of the "lives" on there are unreal.

Thou shalt not be a bully.

Thanks for reading beautiful one. Let's get talking, please do follow me on twitter @tara_bauer and on instagram @tarabauer_

Which are you more concerned about, reality or social networks?

About the IN-LAWS

Very touchy topic and I don't want to get into trouble. I'll say a few things and be truthful while at it. In-laws are should a big phenomenon in this part of the world. They can make or mare your happiness, your life. We all have different upbringings. Your mom is quite different from your mil. Your mother may not be able to stand things your mil can. You may greet your mom "hi" and mil would expect you to get on both knees every time your paths cross, 9months pregnant not being an excuse. Generally, your mom can tolerate you and your ways because she birth you. African magic exposes us mostly to the Patience Ozokwors, wicked mils. There are good mils and there are not so good mils. Just like there are good dils and not so good dils. Everybody can't be good, right? But you don't have to be the bad one.

When people say "I don't want to marry a man whose mom is alive, I can't stand a mil." I say "You'll have a son someday and that son will have a wife. Don't you want to witness and be part of all that joy? God bless and keep my sweet mil. She is going to live a long good intense grandmom life, as I intend to be a Sisi for a long while.lol. I'm going to give a few tips on how to live happily with the in-laws. Feel free to add yours.

1. Respect them. You should treat them like you treat yours. The law now makes them your mom, dad, sisters and brothers. A cousin was bad mouthing her mil with her siblings. I felt like asking her how it makes her any better. I understand that the mil had excesses but would she talk about her mom's excesses like that?

2. Get wisdom. Like your family members upset you, the new additions will do same. I said to love and treat them like you do your family. It's a bit tricky. If you tell your mom and sisters what you don't like straight up, freely express your displeasure or take their advice as suggestions, etc. You can not with your in-laws o. You need to apply some serious wisdom here. They can easily feel undermined, unappreciated and may not talk to you about it. And that's how enmity creeps up. Proverbs 4:7 right?

3. Forgive in advance. Since you know you can't just say "Mommy, I don't like that" or "Anty Tayo, you're offending me." I strongly suggest that you have the forgive in advance spirit and don't take things to heart. If you don't know how to clear serious issues that can't be swept under the carpet, have your spouse tactical get involved if you don't want to hear "His wife runs the home, she put him to it." God forbid Jesus comes back the night you were unceremoniously sent packing from your matrimonial home, by your in-laws, and you're harbouring unforgiveness in your heart (which may be humanly understandable) heaven may not be open to you. Such a serious example, forgive me.

4. The doctrine of see finish. Familiarity breeds contempt. People who worshipped the ground you walked on now ask you to go throw the gabbage away, talk down at and disrespect you. You made yourself too cheap and available. I'm not saying hoard yourself. They are your family members so they should be able to reach you. But you had a life before you married their son/brother and became family. Face your schooling or work or whatever you're up to. Fulfill your dreams, make time for your hobbies, religious and social activities. You're married to "them" doesn't make you a cook or an housekeeper. Don't make yourself a stool or a footmat. If you want to be treated like a daughter, act the part. If you want to be treated like a maid, act the part. I hope you understand me. It's just like going to your parents for the holidays. The first weekend, you're treated like a queen but by the end of the month, nobody's excited anymore. I'm not saying don't help out. Help out but not everyday? They need to get a maid for that.

5. Show love by your conduct, speech, prayers, gifts and any other way you can. It's your joy when mil steps up in nice clothes, jewelry and cars, etc. Give her as much as you can. She raised that amazing man for you, she deserves the world.  Your dil will do more for you. Amen

6. Stay away from "brother I need this" as much as you can. He definitely should give if he can. Nobody should involve you. When they do and brother refuses to give, they make it your fault.

7. Be hospitable! Make them feel at home. They are at home after all. That doesn't mean anyone can just walk to your pot of stew.

8. Treat your in-law how you want to treated. Mistreat your dil/sil and watch it happen to you or your daughters or even your grand daughter. That Sister Karma, she doesn't forget.

9. Be considerate and give your son/brother and his wife some privacy. Is it a crime marrying from your family?

10. Drop the silly "I don't like her", "You can't marry her". That's so yesterday. If you don't have a cogent reason, you have no reason whatsoever to bully her. Your brother loves her, so should you.

11. Erase the bad notions you have about in-laws, instead pray for good ones. They are regular people, with different personalities, who become family. It may take some time to understand their line of reasoning. It will be worth it at the end, Amen.

If your have not so good in-laws, ask God for patience and the ability to love and forgive them in advance. Ask him to change their hearts too. Speak with your spouse about it, bearing in mind that you're talking about his mom/sister. Keep the distance if that's what will secure your happiness. If you're a nasty in-law, please right your wrongs or have God will deal with you at his time. Amen!
Thanks for reading. Love you muchos, Anuoluwapo.

*Mil = Mother-in-law
 Sil = Sister-in-law
 Dil = Daughter-in-law
 Proverbs 4:7 = Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do, develop good judgment (N.B. judgment here can also mean understanding.

Lmao. Don't fry me for this please

Awww, sweet

Not an amazing wife after all

*in Zainab Balogun's voice* My pet peeve today is about persons we love. They charm us in all the possible ways, respect us, say the right things, are all shades of nice and sweet. We think they are the best thing after chocolate and we often say "Your spouse is so blessed to have you" or "You're such an amazing parent". The spouse/kids, if present, may give an humble smile or echo our words. We go home to pray for such an amazing spouse/parent. Or we question God, "Why isn't my spouse like that?" Upon all their efforts, daddy, as always, still has something to complain about.

It's 4pm. Daddy would be back by 5pm and the home suddenly, but as usual, loses it's peace. As mommy is jumping up and down, making sure food is not only ready before he gets home but tasty. She, alongside the kids, makes sure all loose ends are tied. Daddy shouldn't have anything to "fry" us about today. Neighbours/friends are diplomatically asked to leave. Oh daddy would be all sweet to them but he'll crucify mommy for making his home available to guests once they leave.

Everybody looks forward to 6pm. The ladies start packing their things and re-applying their makeup. The married men call home to ask what's for dinner and can't wait to spend the rest of the day with their wives and kids. The envied man, married to the very sexy Miss Nigeria 2012, mother of a set of 2 year old twin boys with a banging body, fantastic cook, good communicator, the seemingly perfect wife and mom, is however afraid to go home. His wife makes the home as hot as hell for him. She is very different from the sweetheart the world thinks she is. Definitely not the calm and reserved lady. Maybe the busybody, gossip, nag, never happy for others, jealous spontaneous bad belle, hypocrite, selfish nag can briefly describe her.

If you are like "Daddy" or the ex pretty queen, you are seriously jonzing. Why are you faking to people who do not care and treating those that care badly? You shouldn't treat anyone badly. But then, your family should never doubt your love and loyalty. Life is short. Why are you cruising on the high way to hell? Make things right. Stop faking the good life, live it. It's never too late besides, it better late than ever.

If a family member makes life difficult for you, pray for God to change the heart. Involve someone responsible or two that he/she respects, if need be. Get some good counselling. We'll talk about domestic violence extensively. Whether to leave or stay.

Thank you for reading. I'm sorry some of you have issues commenting. Will ask someone to look into it. Every other person that messages me, please feel free to drop a comment. Xoxo, Anuoluwapo.

For the love of sons

I think it's very unrealistic to expect so much from men, to want them to be responsible when we don't teach them to be so. The girl child is disciplined and domesticated. The son is allowed to spend the day playing football with friends. He comes in in time for dinner. He eats and puts his dirty clothes in the laundry basket for his sister to sort out. The sister is always reminded of how she would end up in her husband's house. She is trained to be a dutiful wife and mommy. She has a curfew. She dare not be home after 5pm and dinner must be ready by 7pm. The parents are relaxed when it comes to raising their son. He is welcomed home by 5am, from the club, with breakfast (or last night's dinner). At least, he is better than Mrs Midnight's son that goes 2 weeks before returning home. He is allowed to bring female friends home and even take them to his room. "Allow him, thank God he isn't gay" mommy says. He gets tattoos, drinks excessively and keeps late night. Daddy says "He is just a boy, if he doesn't do them now, when would he?" He impregnates a girl and the girl is the cheap one. He is a boy and that's what boys do. Really?

Does the Bible say "Train up a DAUGHTER in a way she should go and when she is old, she won't depart from it?" It says train up a child! So why are you neglecting the boy child. Why is it bad but acceptable for a boy to be into yahoo, armed robbery and cultism but totally bad and unacceptable for a girl? What is good for the goose is good for the gander. What is good for the girl child is good for the boy child. Stop neglecting your son. If it is unacceptable for your daughter to get pregnant out of wedlock, it is totally unacceptable for your son to impregnate anyone. If your girl must be domesticated, so must your son. Why are daughters taught to be virgins and son told to enjoy their lives? If you train your daughters to be ready for their future, you should do same to your sons. You want your girls to marry well behaved men but you don't teach your sons. Yet you expect someone's daughter to marry your son.

Your daughter is domesticated, why isn't your son? Knowing how to cook or keep the home tidy benefits him and him alone. Women are career oriented now. They have something to bring to the board room. Some even work longer hours and earn more than their men. It makes a lot of sense to compromise and meet yourselves halfway. The era of dictating is long over. Wives are executive assistants and not slaves. So many men know how to cook now, even if it's just the basics.  I would pick a man that makes his meals and has a tidy apartment over a "fast food" man or a bachelor with a cook/housekeeper. Train your sons to honour and respect women. To help his wife as much as he can. That's a way to show appreciation for her care and support. A man who has learnt this won't rape or violate a woman in any way. Dear men, what better way to teach your sons than by example?

Women let's say no to big babies, men we have to "mother". Men who think it is beneath them to help around the house or make our lives easier. Just like men say no to ladies with no home training, say no to men with no home training. Let's train our sons in the way of God to be decent, useful to us and the society. To be the type of man we want for ourselves/our daughters. God help us. Amen.

Thank you for reading. Xoxo

Husbands, prospective husbands needed here - Anuchef

Gone are the days when wifey sweats it out in the kitchen and hubby watches the sport highlights. If you want a very loving home and you don't want madam to complain at that time of the night you better help her out with chores, kids and cooking. Be very involved in the affairs of your home. Even if all you'll do is pass maggi and salt. Stay and gist with her. She'll never complain about cooking again and the food would taste better. It's a very good time to catch up on the day's activities and play all the kitchen love you see in movies. Stop being so rigid, cooking with one's lover is fun.

It's unacceptable for a man not to know how to cook. What were you eating as a bachelor? Fast food or mommy's food? A loving husband helps his wife in the kitchen when she is ill, pregnant, tired or just a kind treat from him. Won't you and the kids eat when mommy travels? You'll get them fast food abi? Were you raised on fast food? Be responsible. Mommy should be at peace that you and the kids would be fine. Even if it's to warm the food she left or make eba to go with the efo in the freezer. Have you considered waking her to breakfast in bed or making dinner? It is way cheaper than restaurants but it's far more romantic and sweet. It's not always about the cost, it's more about the kind thoughts and efforts put into it.

That said, I, with all joy, introduce ANUCHEF to you. It's a new section of this blog. I'll be bringing you nice recipes or new twists to our basic usual meals. We'll be using mostly the typical foodstuffs we have at home. Yaaay! You can thank me later. My friend, Lolade, is into food, catering, cakes, small chops,... She was kind enough to kickstart this for us. Give your regular rice and plantain a new twist by trying Gizzdo.

Gizzdo
Ingredients
Gizzard
Overripe plantain
Seasoning
Fresh grounded pepper
Onion
Vegetable oil
Green pepper

Procedure
1. Season and boil gizzard until tender.
2. Dice and fry plantain.
3.  Cut tender gizzard into cubes and put in the oven/microwave to dry.
4.  Cut your onion and green pepper.
5. Fry the onion, in little hot oil, until translucent.
6. Add the fresh pepper to the onions. Season after 5 minutes. Allow to cook for another 5minutes.
7. Add the fried plantain to the sauce. Mash well until it is well incorporated in the sauce.
8. Add the gizzard and green pepper.
9. Stir and leave to simmer for 5minutes.
10. Serve with rice or pasta.

I decided to try it before recommending it to you. It is very easy to make and it was ready under 30 minutes. I served it with pasta last night and it is now a recognised and approved sauce in my home. It was after the meal was ready that I remembered I had green pepper *sigh*. I added little atarodo and seasoned the gizzard with atale. So it had a slight pepperish feel. I also didn't observe the 5 minutes mentioned, I used my discretion. PHCN was at it so I didn't dry the gizzard in the oven/microwave. I used 2 "sticks" of plantain and 6 pieces of gizzard. I totally recommend gizzdo. If you make gizzdo please send photos and your comments to tarabauer01@gmail.com. You can also send me recipes (and photos) of your specialities. Thank you.

GIZZDO

Sorry about the picture quality, it looks a lot better and tastes even better than it looks. Next time, I'll do paparazi and style the food well. Thank you so much Lolade

My darlings, i'm sorry I didn't post anything yesterday. I was tired. Thanks to everyone that asked. Thanks for reading. Please bookmark or add this blog to your phone's homepage. Please come back. All my love, Anuoluwapo.

Tell me you don't like this

No problem but don't ask me to come to the room again :p

You don't have to do it but she'll definitely love you more if you do

God bless kind husbands

You are on your own 

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Tell me again how bad girls get married first?

Often times I hear babes say bad girls get married first. I wasn't looking forward to saying anything about marriage so soon but I heard that ridiculous statement again. I have always successfully overcome to urge to ask who kobalised them. Become bad too now abi why the hate? Did anyone pour sand in your garri? Please forgive and forget. So, it's not appropriate to make single friends feel bad, you can read more about that here Single friends also have no right making their married friends feel bad. Are you trying to say your contemporaries and younger ones who get married before you are bad? You need some pain relievers. Your bad belle is of high quality. If you can't be happy for them, sulk in your house. Don't be asking "when will I also get married?" in my presence. It is very awkward, I have no answer for you and it makes you look desperate. One thing I know is that you're better off than some married folks. Yes, that your friend that floods your TL or updates with "My hubby is the best" may cry herself to sleep everynight. Do you think she will tell you? They don't catch late comer, take your time and be sure he is the right one. I have a friend who, we all think, has met the one but if one asks her about marriage, she says "I have so much to achieve first." "Anu don't forget to wear your rings" she says. She has refused to allow the aso-ebis and bellanaija get to her and she is happy for her friends. If her bobo tells her "Let's do this L", she has nothing stopping her. She is too busy working on herself than scheming, hating and worrying. Build yourself while you wait. I have another friend who gingers everybody but will hide herself. She doesn't want to think about it yet. Please know what you want, don't let any fad distract you. At least you can see people rushing in and rushing out. We will not have cause to patronize divorce attorneys, Amen!

I agree that some very good girls, 100% wife material, aren't in relationships but who is bad ehn? Please stop saying anybody is too bad to be married. That is enough reason for one to go to hell, you know? Being good is not enough to get you (stay) married. I have a few points we can have fun reading and maybe learn a thing or two. You don't have to roll your eyes at me. It's just a fun post from the few things I gathered from the brothers. The hourglass and "artificialness" may attract a brother. He gets what he wants and off he goes, he doesn't get it after sometime and he still runs along. We should be the kind of babe that upon first sighting us, he knows we're not the kind of girl to mess with. Even if he goes ahead, we are all over his head after the first/second date. He can't get enough.

1. Keep your makeup very minimal except it's your wedding or a special occasion. Keep the lashes short.
2.  Keep the nails short and natural looking.
3. Dress how you want to be regarded and treated. I.e, like a side chic, baby mama or a fiancee. Your boobs and ass shouldn't be on social media or in our eyes.
4. Be an enigma. Keep few friends. Keep everyone guessing. Do not be seen everywhere. Hoard yourself reasonably. Don't be loud, be calm, be a lady. Your naughty/playful/talkative side is for close friends and family.
5. Sisi good girl, no guy would come ask you out under your father's house. Please make yourself reasonably available. Visit family and friends. Go out to lunch/dinner/movies/beach with your girlfriends.
6. Look good/classy and wear a smile. Don't scare "them" boys away.
7. Be friends with decent ladies.
8. Have the right attitude. Stop looking down on guys and stop the unnecessary posing.
9. Thou shalt not be everybody's random babe. If you don't use your bbm for business, why are you on everyone's like a smiley?
10. Don't be desperate. It scares guys away. Don't drop whatever you're doing for a guy. Don't give your girlfriends a rain check except it's very very important. If he wants to be with you, he should have made plans, you're not idle, are you? You had a life before you meant him, keep the life. Don't check on him every minute. Stop calling and messaging every minute. Don't carry him on your head like brazilian hair, face your work. Else, don't complain that he is taking you for granted.
11. Your relationship with God also determines how serious a guy will take you.
12. Don't flirt or talk about sex on social media or in public. If you have to have certain conversations, be weary of who you are it with and where. Don't gosh about men (naked/no not). Keep ya thirst to yourself bae or ask the Holy Spirit to hydrate you.
13. I've heard "join a unit in church especially ushering or choir". Yes, the brothers would get to notice you but that "service to God" is in vain.
14. Please go and learn how to cook and care of the home, even if you'll have a cook and an housekeeper.
15. Do not only package yourself, package your brain. Be intelligent, seek knowledge and wisdom. Read more on this here
16. Think with your head and not your heart. Don't be a mumu. You see obvious signs, form lover girl then you come crying "all men are the same" after he has messed your heart up.
17. Don't carry yourself like an option. Why are you always talking on bbm. What's wrong with him calling you. Say no to cheap guys. You have to see signs of seriousness before you let down your guards. He doesn't have to spend money on you. You should have an idea of his pocket. If he is a "Dangote" and asks you to share the cost of the dinner date. He is not ready for a babe. If that's how they do in the country he lived, he should go back and marry an Oyinbo lady. If he has 100naira and he is ready to spend 70naira on you. He is a keeper.
18. Don't let your thirst for love overwhelm you. You may want to read my previous posts, if you haven't. I always chip in one or two things.

 Thank you for reading. There is an avenue for us to give to Orphans in early August. Foodstuffs, beverages, used but neat children's clothes, cots, baths, books, toys, bag/lunch boxes. (New items and cash are also welcomed.) The list is inexhaustive. Nothing is too small/much. Kindly share with your kind hearted loved ones. May God continue to bless us all. To get involved, please message me on tarabauer01@gmail.com Thanks for reading. Xoxo, Anuoluwapo‎. Please come back again. Love you.

T

Yt

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Tt

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What you need to know about #Teamnaturalhair

So Adenike of  Denike's blog was kind enough to write in from Italy. Whoop whoop! I always ran to her for advice when I began my transition from perm to natural. Her hair is so beautiful and she has a unique dress style. Vintage, edgy and cool. Something like Solange's, only that she doesn't wear some of Solange's style we don't understand. She really does stand out. Please make sure to read to the end. I have some information you may love. Continue to read (and enjoy) the questions posed to her and her response.

1. Name, Location/City, Age (optional), and occupation.
2.How long have you been wearing your natural hair? What’s your texture and length?
3.What is your hair regimen? What are your staple products and how do you use them?
4.How do you know when your hair needs moisture and how can you tell when your hair is moisturized?
5.What is Shrinkage to you? How do you embrace or prevent shrinkage?
6.What are your daily styles and what are your nightly routines to maintain the style?
7.What frustrations and mistakes did you have/make during your journey?
8.Have you fully embraced your hair texture? If yes, how did you come to that acceptance?
9.You have ten minutes to get ready, what will be your go-to hair style?
10. How has your natural hair affected your style, if at all?

1. Denike Adegboye. Milan, Italy. Student.
2. A year, 6 months. 7 inches (approximately). 4C
3. Deep condition once a week (concoction: deep conditioner plus olive oil, honey and any thing I can lay my hands on. Can range from eggs to melted Shea butter)
Staple products: Motions and Organics range (shampoo, conditioner, deep conditioner, carrot oil), Shea butter, Goya olive oil.
4. If there's no moisture, my hair matts up and shrinks with a crunchy feel to it. When It's moisturized, it weeks fluffy and bouncy.
5. Shrinkage is unavoidable. Manageable But unavoidable. I usually (when I'm not too lazy) twist or braid my hair before bed so I can have stretched curly hair in the morning.
6. Twist/braid outs.
7. Dyeing my hair when it was way shorter. It has grown out. Now I have a two toned hair in the weirdest colours (2 brown, wine 33)
8. Yes I have. Knowing It's mine (hate it or love it), It's mine. I realise what it needs (moisture) and I feed it as necessary.
9. A puff - easiest go to easiest to style.
10. It makes need stand out. Everyone wants to look at the babe with the fro. :D

Speaking on why I went natural.
I never really planned it out per se. I had short straight hair in a Mohawk type of thing and my hair was thinning out and all tangled up. I wanted a fresh start. So I woke up one morning, carried my 
clipper to the barber's and chopped it all off. It wasn't so premeditated.
I got a lot of laughs from some of my friends and family but slowly it started looking better. I then decided not to use relaxers in my hair anymore. I followed it through and here we are now.lol

The challenges of being natural. Especially for my hair type, it has to be moisture and the tendency to tangle so easily. With straight hair you can just run a comb through it and leave your house but with natural hair you have to put more effort. But It's totally worth it, by the way.

People love my hair.
When I comb it out to big fro, people never believe It's not a wig. My mum told me never to relax my hair cos maybe I have found my niche. Spent about 5 years looking for it.

I totally agree with mommy, I also loved your short brave hair. Thank you so so much Denike. Hopefully, anyone that is scared or sceptical about joining the natural hair team can forget her fears and get on with the change. Have you ever heard anyone regret being natural? It however isn't easy at the beginning. Nothing good comes easy right? Big welcome to Lami who just joined the locs family.
I apologise if I have uploaded your photo on my blog without your approval, I am celebrating you and inspiring myself and others by it. Thank you.
A big thank you to everyone that messages me everyday. Please don't be shy to drop a comment on the blog and share with your loved ones. They deserve to be part of this fun :D 
We're getting featured in the August edition of a growing magazine. Hopefully, we'll have a few free copies for some blog visitors.
There is an avenue for us to give to Orphans in early August. Foodstuffs, beverages, used but neat children's clothes, cots, baths, books, toys, bag/lunch boxes. (New items and cash are also welcomed.) The list is inexhaustive. Nothing is too small/much. Kindly share with your kind hearted loved ones. May God continue to bless us all. To get involved, please message me on tarabauer01@gmail.com Thanks for reading. Xoxo, Anuoluwapo
L

Married woman syndrome

‎Someone asked me recently why being married doesn't shack me. I really don't see it as an achievement, it's something anyone can do. An achievement is having a PhD at 21. I am still very much myself. I don't understand the married "air" some ladies have. Some give their single friends the "I'm no more on your level" attitude. It just shows how unhappy they are and how much they need a ceremony to validate their lives. I met a 2015 bride that had the "inferiority" air. She isn't even married yet but couldn't let us rest. I couldn't help but LOL when I saw the look on her face after someone told her i'm 17months married. Some will not let our bbm rest with love, boyfriend and hubby talks. You're married so? Celebrate when you're 50years together, before then let's hear word. ‎

‎You marry at 18years and you become a "madam" overnight. It's still awkward when people ask "How is the family?" That's stuff old people say to themselves. What happened to how you referred to dh and I before the wedding? Dh and I ran into a "friendly" acquaintance. After getting a side hug, he went all "I'm so sorry. I forgot you're married." So married "babes" are not "side huggable?"

Some people will say you don't look married. So because I'm married I should be wearing ankara wrapper and blouse? Thou shalt not be shabby. Why should one become a mama in the name of marriage? That's what they call oja okunkun, he married a babe and found himself with a mama. No man wants a mama. As long as you're decent you're good to go. I don't see why you should change your dress sense because you're married. You should have been dressing decently prior to the wedding day.‎

If you've had an healthy lifestyle. You don't have to change yourself. Nobody should force you to change, you should change because you love him/her enough to want a change. Don't wait till you're married till you quit the beer parlour, club, womanising, red light districts, runs,... It is people who live unhealthy lifestyles that feel they are missing out when married.

Then you have to be friendless because you're now a Mrs? I'm a firm believer of few childhood friends. If they were good enough to be by your side before and during the ceremony, they better be good enough to remain there. You don't need to share confidential information but everyone needs a friend which you can find in a relative. The space for one's girlfriend is different from that of the Le boo. Some will even dump their single friends for new married friends. Very funny as men remain homies for life.

Some advisers of life would tell you not to mention him on social media, stalk his social media accounts, make his phone your bestie, share a bedroom, etc. Thou shalt not be paranoid, live a free happy life and do what rocks your boat. Spouses differ from family to family. What works to Mrs A may not work for Mrs B. 

Sharing a room for example usually has more pros than cons. If you however realise that you two have issues when you share a room and are happier when you have different rooms, please go for different rooms. I believe in personal space/retreats in marriage. A little time to yourself. You don't have to be in each other's face 24hours, 7days a week.‎

Thank you my darlings for reading. A fun post tomorrow? Love, Anuoluwapo.‎

Because you need to leave some space for the Holy Spirit

* Dh = Dear husband

 LOL = Laugh out loud

 Oja okunkun = black market/deception

Women: We're our own enemy

Yes, we're our own enemy! No lady wants a cheating man, yet men cheat. Are they cheating with their ancestors? We're the ones tearing marriages up, becoming second wives, pimping girls to men, encouraging men to mistreat their spouses,... Why do we hear more of "boyfriend/husband snatcher" than "girlfriend/wife snatcher?"

Bringing each other down is our hobby. A guy would ask to be introduced to our friend and we go "Her makeup is terrible", "She wears fake things", "She has such a nasty attitude", "You don't know her? Instagram whore 1". We never hear another lady's gist and stand to her defence. Even if we can't confidently say she isn't that bad, we should be able to say "Don't you have sisters? You don't talk about a lady like that", or "She has to have a good side."

Our brothers bring a million babes home forming "meet my family".  Instead of asking "girl are you dumb? Why are you wasting your time with him?", we smile as we call her "our wife" but mutter "fool" under our breath. Men watch out for each other. Why can't we do same? Oh, I know a mom that asked her son's babe if she knows what she was getting herself into. God bless her.

Men that rape/ use and dump a girl often time enlist the help of other ladies, which may include her "friend". How do you sleep at night after perpetrating such wickedness against a fellow woman?

Mr A bares his mind to Mr B. Mr B helps him through the pain as much as he can and that's the end of it. Miss Y bares her mind to Miss Z. Miss Z helps her through the pain, checks on her and makes sure she is okay. She however ensures to help pass the information to Miss P, Mrs O and Mr T. That's how the gist gets to City people and Linda Ikeji. Men gossip among themselves but it takes so long for them to give us the gist. A lady on the other hand hears a gist (or their friend confides in her) and she can't wait to get through the door before downloading the gist to their partners (Later you wonder why your bobo is cold towards your babe. He knows too much and can't forget, that's why). And then they "innocently" (or out of malice) mention to other female friends. If I want Ronke to know, I can tell her myself, you know?

Two friends would fight and start talking about how the other's ancestor slept with a guy. They bring up irrelevant 2year old talks. What should we do with that? She said you disrespected her bobo, you're saying she slept with Teju's ex. Kindly grow up. You don't deserve that much drama in your life. How would you start apologising when you "kiss and makeup."

No one in her right senses would tear anyone down, talk less a friend. 3 friends would sit down and table the 4th friend's matter. When Friend 2 isn't around, she is quickly replaced by Friend 4 and extensively discussed. It's very bad. You're frenemies! We should build ourselves and not tear each other apart. Chastise her indoors. All corrections should be constructive and in love. She shouldn't be on the headlines.

Men would quickly find excuses for their friends or fellow men but we will even chook mouth and be talking gibberish. We go out of our way to make the situation worse. We need to realise that life isn't a competition. If we have to compete, it should be against the men. Becoming professionals, doing what was stereotyped as a man's thing. But really, life isn't a competition. We all live personalised lives.

A lot of ladies pray against female bosses, having to speak with a lady for small favours or bargaining with a lady. I know we're strong but let's stop being unkind to each other. Nobody can feel a lady's pain like another lady. Where is the feminist promise of solidarity? Why can't one be relaxed just because there is a lady in the panel interviewing her? I'm not saying do a wrong to favour a sister. I'm saying, help a sister whenever you reasonably can. When a lady is doing well, encourage her. If she is having troubles, support her. There will always be a lady better than you at something, you can as well get rid of the jealousy and put a stop to misogyny. Be a sister's keeper.

Thanks for reading. We'll talk extensively about female bosses and moms in law soon. I'm also looking at bringing something new and different. Yes, you can be excited. See you tomorrow. Kisses