Wednesday, 18 March 2015

I'm not a feminist

Well, I don't fully understand the concept of feminism and I'm not particularly interested. I want everybody - Women, Men and children, treated fairly. Work hard, study hard. When you lead your set or head your organisation, no one can take it from you. It's not a competition against men or your colleagues, you're working on yourself - making yourself better.

I still want a man to open a door for me and help me lift objects, doesn't mean I won't kick his behind in the board meeting. I want to tell my hubby "The mechanics' place isn't for ladies" and have him spend the day at the workshop. I know ladies who do the mechanics. So, before you tell me you do, let me tell you I don't envy you.

Now, some of my classmates have noticed that, on my way to and from school, I would rather give women rides. Ehn now, what do you expect? It's not like I don't pick men but when there are ladies also standing by the road, I'm picking the ladies. It upsets me when men struggle with ladies to get in. I always want to scream "Oh my God! What happened to ladies first? Doesn't your body do you one kain when you physically struggle with a lady? What if you hurt her?" but instead I calmly say "Sorry sir, I stopped for the ladies, please let them come in."

If I'm in a position to help, I, first of all, consider based on merits and then I tend to favour ladies sensibly. I wouldn't for instance choose to help a rude lady over a nice guy. Or at most, I give both sexes equal chances. Isn't it normal? If I don't help my fellow woman, who will? However, I still expect a man to pick up a lady over a man by the road side, if he has to choose. Does that make me a feminist? I presume "Ladies first" had been a common statement/norm before the doctrine of feminism was birth.

After thinking about it, it seems to me that, like Hannah Montana, I want the best of both worlds. A bit of here and there, supporting the female folk and still have the men choose to support us over their fellow men. There are many other ways we support men na, abi? Allowing them help us is a privilege to them. Take note men.

What do you think? Thanks for reading, Anuoluwapo.

7 comments:

Launna said...

Anuoluwapo, I am a feminist to a point... in that I think a man and woman should be paid equally for equal work... other than than, I appreciate our differences...

I also think if a woman wants to do mechanics than that is fine... I personally don't want to do mechanics either...

I also like a guy opening my door... I know that is a little old fashioned but what the hey xox

Cyclone said...

There's no privilege in helping O! Heaven helps those who help themselves. I think "allowing" to help is either a defeat or a deceit. Feminism isn't about not being gracious and courteous to each other. I think it's about empowering women and enabling them to see themselves as more than just an extension of men's desires and needs. It comes from a time when women could not vote, were only allowed to work in certain jobs and routinely suffered violence at the hands of men. We're it not for feminism there would be women in the boardroom.

I don't mind helping women because I believe whoever is more capable should always take a lead in things. But that doesn't mean if a woman expresses an interest in something I would put her down. It also doesn't mean I would encourage her to learn new skills and assert her own identity.

Cyclone said...

Yeye autocorrect! Last sentence in first paragraph should start "Were". Last sentence in second paragraph should read "it also doesn't mean I wouldn't...".

Erniesha Tibs said...

Hey mami....Erhmmmm I say 'Girl power' alot buh I am not sure I am a feminist....I believe that women have their roles and men have theirs. I do not believe that women can do EVERTHING a man can do or be everything a man can be. I think the word feminist means women empowerment and making a woman realize that there is more to her than being a 'mere' woman. I think it is sort of like changing a woman's mindset from what she is been told by people and the values passed to her by her parents to somewhat awakening her 'inner man'......I believe every man has a lil 'inner woman' in him and every woman has a lil 'inner man' in her.

Olayinka Oloruntogbe said...

And what we still fail to realize is that feminism is not equal to man hating. We also give so much to men as women and I think it's just fair if they began to extend same courtesy to us by treating women more like partners, companions and colleagues rather than 'weaker sex'. Mutual respect is what this is about, not competition. Besides, when a society insists on what I cannot be as a woman, I'll be left with no choice but to assert myself. How does the society see this? As competition. A little competition can help improve efficiency by both sexes, no?

ire said...

A lot of so called feminists don't get it. It's not a war against men. You sound like a feminist choosing to help females over males.

dare ahmed said...

I pet 3:7- says, husbands dwell with them with understanding, giving honour to the wife, as to the WEAKER vessel
So yeah, that a woman also lives by the eternal principle of "Ladies First" deos not make her a feminist.