Wednesday 24 December 2014

Bedmatics 102 - Sex toys

So I was having random thoughts the other day and adult toys jumped in from no where. I'm also talking about organ enhancers/ tighteners, sex tapes, books and magazines, aphrodisiacs, etc. Are they necessary in a healthy sexual relationship? Is it morally right? Should a christian use one? Why are we shy/ashamed to buy one? I don't know, do you?

I know it's wrong to masturbate with or without a toy. It's also wrong to use one on a person one isn't supposed to be with. Is it okay to use a dildo on your babe? Would you role play, get costumes, plastic handcuffs and maybe a whip?

I think it's kinky to get edible underwear and sexy lingerie. But enhancers, sweeteners, porn, toys? Are those necessary? Abi are you bitter ni?

We have misplaced priorities. Sex is not a way to build our relationships. Monkey in the snake island position or anal wouldn't keep a relationship, you know? Life is too short not to have fun with the boo but where do you draw the line?

Thanks for reading bloghearts. Do tell me what you think. I'm considering taking a break to savour every minute of Christmas, my cotton anniversary and the new year. If you don't hear from me, do read some of the older posts you missed. I love you peeps. Have a very Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New year, Anuoluwapo.

P.S. Find my take on masturbation here


Sunday 21 December 2014

That troublesome family member

I'm sure most of you have heard about actress Stephanie Okereke Linus' elder brother who has been charged to court for rape. From reports of faceless ladies who claim to have been his victims, he seems to me like the sort of guy that believes he has a right to a lady's body because he bought her 400naira mtn airtime, took her to lunch or the lady came visiting. I may be wrong. The guy has admitted his wrong and asked for forgiveness, if the reports are true.

Mrs Linus runs a charity organization that helps ladies with VVF. I hear her new movie, Dry, is about it. See what her brother is doing to himself and his family. Whether we like it or not, Stephanie's name will always be linked to the mess he created.

In the statement she released, Stephanie spoke against rape and urged her brother's prosecution, asking that the court determines his guilty or otherwise. Isn't that commendable? Like almost unbelievable in a society where one would witness a family member commit a crime and still be trying to press buttons to save him. In her hurt, she has chosen to stand for justice not because she has no connections. Besides the people she would have met, Dr Ndi Okereke-Onyiuke has been reported to be her relative.

The Nigerian in me couldn't hide when I asked myself what I would have done if I were in her shoes. I couldn't help but mutter "God forbid, God forbid in Jesus' name." It's persons like her we need in politics, not those hungry and greedy entertainers trying to have a slice of the national cake. God bless and keep her strong. I'm not going to ask you what you would have done in her shoes. May our loved ones not put us in tough situations. Have one? May God help to keep loving, praying for and talking to him/her.

Thanks for reading dear bloghearts. Some humour soon? Have a great week, Anuoluwapo.

*VVF = Vesico Vaginal Fistula

Friday 19 December 2014

My Anniversary

Almost everyone celebrates an important event that happened in the previous year. In fact I would term Nigeria as the global hub for celebrations. We love celebrating oh. Some people even go out of their way to borrow money to celebrate important dates in their lives. It’s that serious!! They don’t want to “carry last”  “patapata na draw” according to the Warri folks.
Anniversary just like i mentioned above is simply a day on which an important event happened in the previous year. The Latin word is anniversarius meaning for the year and to return (returning).  We all have several important events that we love celebrating. They range from, birthdays to company or business anniversaries, blog anniversaries, wedding anniversaries etc. The wedding anniversaries are really important events for married couples. It’s a time to reflect at the past, make plans for the future, work on the issues experienced and suggest ways of bonding better etc.
I searched and came across the names of anniversary years especially the wedding anniversary decided to share this. I actually thought it was just the silver jubilee and the Golden jubilee that was available. Every year has a unique name and this makes it very important. Thanking God and looking forward to the next unique anniversary with your partner. Kindly find below the names. If you are married, which anniversary are you presently on?
1 year is a paper anniversary
2 years is a cotton anniversary
3 years is a leather anniversary
4 years is a linen anniversary
5 years is a wood anniversary
6 years is an iron anniversary
7 years is a wool anniversary
8 years is a bronze anniversary
9 years is a copper anniversary
10 years is a tin (or aluminium) anniversary
11 years is a steel anniversary
12 years is a silk anniversary
13 years is a lace anniversary
14 years is an ivory anniversary
15 years is a crystal anniversary
17 years is a turquoise anniversary
18 years is a lapis anniversary
20 years is a china (porcelain) anniversary
25 years is a Silver Jubilee or silver wedding anniversary
30 years is a pearl anniversary
35 years is a coral (or jade) anniversary
40 years is a ruby anniversary
45 years is a sapphire anniversary
50 years is a Golden Jubilee -          
55 years is an emerald anniversary
60 years is a Diamond Jubilee
65 years is a blue sapphire anniversary
70 years is a Platinum Jubilee.
75 years is a diamond wedding anniversary
80 years is an oak wedding anniversary
Most often we buy gifts for our spouses. Another way make it fun is to buy gifts as it relates to your present year anniversary. For example this year I am celebrating wood anniversary. I can decide to buy my wife gifts made of wood. Eg. A beautiful wooden dressing set. Next year is our iron anniversary. I will be expecting a car gift from my wife. *Wink*

Lol at car, aeroplane nko? Thanks Esquire for this post. I'm so excited about my cotton anniversary in a few days. I guess the hubby should be expecting a pack of cotton singlets :D Thanks for reading dear bloghearts. Anuoluwapo.

P.S. Ilorin bloghearts are invited to celebrate the birth of Christ in a Christmas carol service by 3pm at RCCG El-Shaddai Parish. 10 Owa Kajola Street, (off Flowergarden), GRA. Theme: Born to Reign. Contact me for further directions.

Wednesday 17 December 2014

My expensive body oil

If you know me, by now you should know that I'm an unrepentant bush girl. I do not know how to apply any kind of makeup, managing weaves is war, to rub cream sef wahala. When moms are complaining about tattoos and piercings, mine is saying "Will the white powder I gave you use itself?" "You didn't comb this hair oh. Ahah mommy, I combed it nah. Okay you didn't comb it well."

I was minding my business quietly when I got a broadcast message about a promo on body oils and I had seen beautiful photos of the sender's supposed clients. Seeing harmattan creeping in, I felt I would need a bottle of oil for the season so I thought to talk to her. She recommended one. I asked her the price. She replied 20k. I asked her how much it is without the promo, she said 30k. I had heard about Egyptian milk and some bleaching people spending 200k monthly on their skin products. Giving the 200k to Hope Orphanage or paying the jamb/waec fees of some indigent students would be impacting lives.

I guess it's one of the secrets of those very fine flawless babes in music videos and tormenting instagram. You'll see some girls and wonder if God made you with made with okrika clay. It's funny, in a sad way, when an undergraduate from an humble background also uses these oils. If you can conveniently afford it, good. I recently found out that a flawless babe uses an expensive body cream. She has her business and works hard. She can choose to spoil herself in whatever way she chooses to. If you however have to sleep around, do some silly things, or have no savings because you want to kill your neighbourhood, you may have a problem.

You can get beautiful skin without breaking a bank. Google is your friend. Perhaps we could talk about oils and a few diy recipes sometime. What do you use on your skin? How much do you, would and would you not spend on a body cream/oil?

And that's my rant. Thank you for reading bloghearts. Have a post or topic for us? You can also share how you spend the holidays. Hit me up tarabauer01@gmail.com. Look forward to Esquire's post. Let's remember to be moderate in everything. All my love, Anuoluwapo.

*sef wahala = is stress
 bleaching people = bleachers
 WAEC = West African Examination Council
 JAMB = Joint Admission Matriculation Board

P.S. I happen to know an amazing baker who is offering to sell christmas cakes for 2k. Interested in getting for yourself and your loved ones? Contact me. There MAY also be another freebie. Watch out.

Monday 15 December 2014

22 + 1 mistakes single ladies make

1) You are dirty inwardly(character wise and hygienically) n pretend 2 be clean outside,you fail to look good and blame it on spirituality.

2) You pray for an excellent husband instead of becoming an excellent wife material.

3) You use money to buy a man and keep the relationship under your control.

4) You sell your destiny for marriage.

5) You stay in an unhealthy relationship because you are scared that if you break up with him, you may not find another man as good as him.

6) You give your heart to a man and later try to use your head.

7) You compete with your man instead of complementing him.

8) You use sex to get a man.

9) You work at a job that limit your progress in life.

10) You follow a man blindly without knowing who he really is.

11) You mistake romance for love.

12) You don't put God first in your life.

13) You mistake the availability of money for love.

14) You don't know what you want in life.

15) You fail to grow up in maturity.

16) You enter into a relationship with an unavailable man.

17) You force a relationship to stay alive.

18) You date different men at the same time giving each of them the impression that you are romantically interested in them when you really are not.

19) You compare your man with your father, brother, or other men in the past.

20) You adapt to an unhealthy relationship instead of demanding for change, respect and honour.

21) You fail to connect with quality, God fearing men in positive relationships.

22) You assumed the position of a wife, by cooking for your boyfriend, doing his laundry, and living with him.

23) You dress naked and stupidily all in the name of fashion and expect a God fearing man to come your way.

Sweethearts please try to adjust in whatever way you know you are doing one of this points I have listed above. I'm addressing myself as well. Let's make our lives better and worthy of Emulation! Let's live a life of a VIRTOUS WOMAN‎.

T‎hank you Yemi Adefioye, C.E.O. Fabgold hair, for letting me put up this. ‎Enjoyed reading bloghearts? Hopefully, we read from her again soon. We have a funny post from Esquire. I'm also going to write a piece that's cracking me up already. Don't miss out. Xo, Anuoluwapo.‎

Saturday 13 December 2014

When daddy cheats on mommy

I often hear people say "I would never tell my friend her boyfriend is a cheat. I wouldn't even tell my sister her hubby sleeps around. I can't be the reason a marriage would break down. If I catch my dad sef, i'll rather blackmail him than tell my mom."

I also wouldn't want to be the cause of a break u. Isn't the cheat who couldn't keep his/her vows the cause? Is friendship only about the good times? What should a good friend/sister/daughter do? I read of someone who was upset and at a loss on what to do when she found out that her friend's husband was having an affair with her friend's twin.

Speaking with the cheat could be an option which could boomerang by the time he talks to the spouse. You could even tell your friend who would forgive the spouse and make you an enemy.

I don't know what I would do. I pray it doesn't happen to us. What would you do? Have you been in that situation? What did you do? Would you have your friend tell you or be quiet about it?

Thanks for reading bloghearts. I hope to read from you. Sure you had a good birthday blogheart Ayomide. Have a year as sweet as you are. Love, Anuoluwapo.

Thursday 11 December 2014

Planning a wedding on a tight budget?

Planning a wedding on a budget? Come in here.

  1. Do not get carried by the wedding paparazzi on the internet/instagram. Your marriage is more important than the wedding day.
  2. Please do not borrow.
  3. Don't shy away from those who want to help.
  4. Keep your guest list to the barest minimum. Do not send wedding invites on facebook. You don't even need wedding invitation cards. Decide the number of guests you can cater to, make a guest list and make sure to invite not more than 3/4 of the number.
  5. Make a budget and ensure you don't exceed.
  6. Fix a work day. Not many people would love owambe to the extent of turning up by 9am on a Monday morning.
  7. Don't invite people too early so the gist wouldn't circulate.
  8. Think of a court marriage. It's cheaper than a church wedding.
  9. You can have a private "court" marriage. The registry official conduct the ceremony at the venue of your choice. This is more expensive than the general court marriage. You can alter the program to suit you, like have your pastor preach.
  10. Host guests once by having a very intimate parlour traditional wedding and invite your guests to the wedding reception; Combine the wedding reception with the traditional wedding; Or combine the private introduction and traditional ceremonies.
  11. Have a loved one who love cooking or can cook for that many people? Have her help out, get people to help her cook and serve afterwards.
  12. It's more convenient to have professionals cook and your people help out. There are some women, Olopo in yoruba, who don't charge much to cook.
  13. You can consider serving food in take-away packs.
  14. You are not mandated to serve all the foods eaten on earth. If it's only jollof rice and beef you can conveniently afford, please serve it. Anyone that wants Chinese should buy or make at here. Share the recipe HERE.
  15. Do not bother about souvenir or aso-ebi.
  16. Host the ceremonies at a venue you wouldn't pay to use like your home or church.
  17. Have loved ones clean up after the event.
  18. Have a loved one, church member,..., compere the ceremonies.
  19. Have your church choir be the band for the events.
  20. Rent or lend a wedding gown/aso-oke.
  21. If you're yoruba, you don't have to do the aso-oke outfit, you can make iro and buba from lace. The gele and ipele from aso-oke.
  22. Use shoes, purses and other accessories you already own.
  23. We all have that friend that makes up very well, have her make you up.
  24. Thank God you can change your rings, you don't have to buy diamonds now. Manage cheap rings for now.
  25. Choose simple designs of cakes and make sure not to exceed a certain budget on it.
  26. Honeymoon? Your home is filled with milk and honey in Jesus' name.
  27. An event planner can get you good deals. Need one? Call me *winks*
I should stop here. It depends on your budget, all the tips may not apply to you. Please feel free to add your tips or say hello. I'll do a post soon on how to host classy events. Thanks for reading. Much love, Anuoluwapo. 

Tuesday 9 December 2014

Very good bahd girl

I was introduced to a very nice babe a few years back. Afterwards I started hearing gists about her, good gists. Everybody liked her. I found that we had mutual friends. We had several interactions and I  grew to like her too.

I'm not particularly friends with her but I found myself being her voltron on several occasions. "Why are you speaking ill of her? She's a good girl, back off." Her crime? She had a caring boyfriend but would still collect gifts from men, young or old, rich or poor, even the ones whose wives she was acquainted with. Maybe it's because I come from a small town or because men talk too much, the news circulated. You can bet even people who do not know her helped garnish and spread the gist. I believe she didn't date any of these men but she was taking gifts, cash and enjoying the free meals. She thought she was being a smart good girl. I must add greedy to it. Note each man didn't spend up to 20/50k on her but would talk like they credit her account with 1M everyday and take her shopping every weekend.

I remember one initially saying "I got this and this for her. I took her there yesterday. I'll definitely date her" Then he changed to "That stupid girl just collected all my money. I have forgotten her". Another chose to dent her boyfriend's image. Derogatory remarks on how he couldn't control his girl, she was vain, she was above him, she was using him were passed around.

These gifts do not make one rich. Now that he bought that human hair for you, are you any better? Would you die if you don't use the latest blackberry? I don't think we should accept gifts from men. We're not even mandated to take everything our boyfriends give us. You know a guy is giving you a gift because he covets your body, you smile sheepishly and take it. You're not being smart, it's being cheap.

Thank you for reading bloghearts. It will be nice to read more from you in the new year. Do send in posts to tarabauer01@gmail.com and I'll be glad to publish. You can also suggest topics. This post is dedicated to Karen. I didn't start writing this post until I saw your comment on the Christmas giveaway post. Much love, Anuoluwapo.

P.S. If you're in Ilorin for Christmas/New year, please get in touch.

Monday 8 December 2014

Christmas freebies

2014 was a minute, right? When did the year begin again? I'm super excited about Christmas, the New year and the blessings coming with them. So should you.

Here is a chance to win nice blazers. If you're a guy, you could get one for your significant other, sister, friend or decorate your home with it :d

To win, please drop a comment telling me why you (do not) love the blog, what should be added, reduced or stopped. You're a new blogheart? Read up.
Have a very merry Christmas in advance!!!
Also include your e-mail address so I can contact you. If you are not in Ilorin, you'll have to arrange how it'll be sent to you. I look forward to your comments.

What are you cooking during the holidays? Do send recipes and photos. Heart heart, Anuoluwapo.

Wednesday 3 December 2014

Tips to having a merry Christmas

  • Plan a road trip. Think of  a loved one outside town, your hometown, The whispering palms, Owu waterfalls, Erin-Ijesha warm and cold water springs, Sobi hills, Idanre hills, Ghana...
  • Travel destination. Plan a trip with loved ones and disturb our TL when you get back :d Ghana, Dubai, Gambia, Seycelles, Maldives. Scared of the cold? Think South-Africa
  • Visit a resort. Miccom golf course, Obudu cattle ranch,...
  • Don't be missing at the Christmas Day, Watchnight and New year services.
  • Attend one or more Christmas carols
  • Attend comedy shows/musical concerts
  • Visit loved ones. Friends work has deprived you of seeing.
  • Host a house party. Could be a come chop, barbeque party,...
  • Plan a fun day out with friends. Hit the beach, zoo, spa, karaoke bar,...
  • It's an opportunity to do something good again. Take gifts to and spend time with orphans, children with special needs,... It's a season where we, go out of our way to, show the selfless love of Christ afterall, if we're not already.
  • Give gifts to your loved ones. The price tag doesn't matter, the thought behind it does.
  • Have fun making a personalised family Christmas card.
  • Try out new recipes.
  • Sleep, catch up on movies. it's the holiday season afterall.
  • Do a cleanse, fast, water therapy,...
  • Say hello to everyone on your bbm
  • Have something undone on your to-do list for the year, do it.
  • Attempt writing out your blessings. Don't forget to add each minute of the year you have been alive. Have a grateful heart.
  • Understand the essence of Christmas and don't hesitate to share it.
  • X does not equal Christ. It's Xmas Christmas!
Thank you for reading bloghearts. Have yours planned out yet? Any Christmas/New year celebration stood out for you? Please feel free to add your tips to having a good celebration or just say hello. We should talk about freebies in the next post, yea? *winks* Enjoy, Anuoluwapo.