Saturday, 11 April 2015

Keeping the jewels on my crown

I read this quote on Instagram and I was completely touched by it. It reminded me of how many times I had removed 'jewels' from my crown so that a man would 'love me' ... instead of finding a man that was worthy of me, I had lowered myself more times than I care to remember. Over the years I wondered what was wrong with me? Why was I still single? Especially when being married to someone I loved and who loved me was all that I wanted. 

I have never been the girl who wanted the big career, I have never been the girl that wanted fame and I have never been the girl that wanted excessive money... I have been the girl that wanted love. When it didn't happen over the years, I had began to think it must be me, something I was doing wrong... over the last year and a half, it came to me that I had been selling myself short with the men that I had dated. I had forgot my worth. 

I got less then I deserved because I had expected it, in my mind I didn't deserve much more... all of this came after I had lost 'him' as my best friend... because at one time I had thought I was SO lucky to have 'him'... I neglected to remember that 'he' was lucky to have me. When 'he' stopped being friends with me due to a misunderstanding that I was not given a chance to explain, I ended up falling into a depression... this was when my eyes and my heart started to open more. 

I begin to see how I had thought I deserved so little over my life and this was why I had so little... what you expect is what you get... I remember a night 'he' and I were talking before 'he' came home and I was so excited and I told him I deserved 'him'... he stopped me that night and said, did I ever think it was 'him' that deserved me?... I was touched by what he had said but I didn't believe it for a very long time. 
What we both neglected to remember was that love isn't about deserving one another, love is about loving ourselves first and giving the best of ourselves to the other person. I now know that I had not loved myself enough and because I didn't I was not able to truly love anyone else enough. I had lived with fear that I was going to be alone, since I couldn't love myself, how could anyone else love me either. 

Although I may not find the love of my life, I now know more than ever that I want nothing less ... especially since I am willing to give my all to the right person if they were to come along. I never thought I would write this or more I never thought I would believe this... but I would rather be alone than be with someone who didn't truly love me... I love myself enough to never settle for someone just because I think I deserve some kind of love. 

The truth is we all deserve love, the question is do we know that loving ourselves is really the answer?

I'm totally keeping the jewels on my crown. Yes, i'm a queen. So are you! (or a king as the case may be). Don't lose yourself because you want to be with someone. An example? I read on facebook this morning "How do I lose weight? My boyfriend wants me to lose weight or i'll lose him." I ignored the post because all I could think is "Is something wrong with you? Are you seriously considering it?" Your boyfriend should want you to lose weight because he wants you to be healthy and maybe look better. If he ever thinks and plays the "or else i'll leave you card", he isn't the one. Putting up with a boyfriend that hits you, disrespects you, cheats on you? Just look at your jewels on the floor. Why do you have to discard your life goals and happiness for a man or woman. You need to truly love yourself to love another and be loved right. If you're still looking at your jewels on the floor instead of in your crown, you do not love yourself.

I'm addicted to Launna's blog She is one wise lady who writes the truth from her experiences. I never leave her blog without learning (or having her remind me of) something. She's so so practical. I would love to spend a weekend getting to know her and learning from her experiences in person. Thanks Launna for letting me share this. Thanks for the prayers and for reading bloghearts. Love, Anuoluwapo.

8 comments:

blogoratti said...

I thought that was interesting, thanks for sharing!

Launna said...

Thank you so much Anuoluwapo I love what you added at the end about how you'd love to spend time with me... I would love to spend time getting to know you too... you seem so sweet and down to Earth :-) ♡

dare ahmed said...

Very thoughtful write up.... alot of us are still guilty of this insane offence.as for me, as of now, I am delivered

Ms Lily said...

Wow! So deep.

Don Ocso said...

Nice article to get over it. its never too late to start anew because we are made in the awesome goodness of Him who is Most Worthy.

Ocso | 234 Jam Blog

Duru Adolphus Jnr. said...

You know ehn Bubba, there is something about life.. and it is the sad fact that many atimes yeah, we chase what is not ours there by leaving that which is sincerely and wholely ours chasing us from behind.. and I am learning that until we stop for a second or more and listen to our hearts (Thereby giving that which is chasing us room to catch up) we will never really be happY. I mean think about it Anu... Bubba, this post was so endearing and apt.. and i cut cap for Launna... In short scratch that!! I dobale inside Lagoon for her sef.. hehehe #ObaofLagosStyle

In my confuse 23 years 3 months 4 days eyes Anu to sharp ju Razor blade lo...Life is simple.. Live, Love and Leave a legacy.. I am learning in my 23 years 4 months and 4 days of living to not chase love... Cause we all have someboRRy for us.. So why not chill and flex till they come, cause when they come,... they really Come.. Nice one Anu toh Sure.. Thanks for sharing.. **In www.janylbenylshares.com 's voice.. It was a ghen ghen read... My! It feels good to be here.. Pele Mach was an Ajala month.. I am Back... **Singing.. Aint no stopping us nowwwwww.. we are on the move.. heheheh **Wears Mr. Nigeris smile... :)

Anu I just read this: http://favourmoyse.blogspot.com/2015/04/i-am-awesome.html and it was a ghen ghen read.. Aswear that child is smart like kilode.. **Cleans sweat...

Erniesha Tibs said...

Phew!!...Hiya mami, I had to get on her blog...This is a beautiful article....very thoughtful too...

Hows mi mamacita doing?

yourstrulyblogposts.blogspot.com said...

Very beautifully written abd thanks for sharing Hun