Bedmatics 103: Physical attraction

You all know I'm a JJC in this area right? :D So I have a question. Is it possible to love someone enough to want to marry him/her and yet not be physically attracted to him/her? I'm patiently waiting to read from you.

In other news, love hampers, for valentine, birthdays,.., are still selling. Don't only get for your babes and bobos, get for your siblings and folks.

Which of my bloghearts will be my unofficial valentine? Love love, Anuoluwapo.

Dear toaster

Dear bloghearts, how are you doing? You asked for fun posts, here is an hilarious post I found on Wedding digest's IG page. Continue to read a lady's note to her toaster.

Hey there! I appreciate the fact that you consider me to be worthy of your toasting. Really I do. We’ve been on this for over six months now. I don’t know whether the fact that your moves haven’t brought much progress bothers you at all. I’m bothered for you because you keep doing all the wrong things. Leaving 20 missed calls on my phone at 6am. Honestly, I am confused. Is it that you don’t sleep or you don’t have work to go to? It’s not normal behaviour oh. Even if you saw me in your dreams, if you called the first two times and I didn’t pick then simply leave a message. I’ll definitely call back. Leaving 20 missed calls at any point in the day. I was trying to be nice but it’s not going to help you. So here it is – leaving 20 missed calls on my phone is not ok at any time during the day. It makes me feel like you are jobless. Even if the love is doing you one kind on the inside, try and calm down small ehn? Showing up in my office unannounced. I can never forget the day the receptionist came to tell me that Tunde was looking for me. Which Tunde? I’m sure you saw the shock on my face when I saw it was you. Don’t think it’s because I was touched. No. I couldn’t believe you were turning out to be a stalker. We had only talked twice on the phone and you decided to Google the name of my office and show up at my reception. Who does that? Asking jamb questions when you call. I know you care and all but it really annoys me when you start asking me if I’ve eaten, what I ate and how many hours ago I ate the food. You remember that afternoon you called and you asked me what I ate for lunch. You also asked what I ate for breakfast and what I will eat for dinner. Hian. Using a different number to call me and not saying anything. You do know that there is an app called trucaller right? So every time you call me with a different number feeling like a bad guy, I know it is you. Please stop. I really hope that after you read this, I will see some improvement in your tactics. If not, I’m afraid even that friend zone… you will be demoted from that position. Written by #DoyinJaiyesimi

I hope you had a good laugh and picked something. Stalking or obsession  is never attractive. Thanks for reading lovers, Anuoluwapo.

My pastor and my vote

I understand that we love and respect the church and our pastors. We however still have the mental capacity to reason and make decisions. We may at different points require their advice which is never law. Regardless of the anointing he may seem to have, anything inconsistent with the word of God is null and void! Now, there's a limit as to how our pastors can interfere in our lives, they are not God, remember? If pastor does not like and eat rice, he can not tell his congregation to stop eating rice. You get my drift?

I don't understand why pastors are dabbling into politics. What is the point of having affiliations with political parties and candidates? Have they finished praying for their congregation and the nation? It seems okay to pray for a candidate that calls and relaying any word he got for him. They are however not godfathers/kingmakers/campaign managers. Political gatherings? Friendship with politicians? Some of us may never get our pastors' audience but politicians do. Do you know that politicians have special V.I.P seats close to the man of God/altar yet members stand?

The 2015 general elections is very serious. We need good governance. Where has bias taken us? Don't vote based on religion or ethnicity. Are you not tired of complaining and the situation of things? Don't you want your qualifications to matter instead of relying on connections? Are you not tired of fueling your generators and the death traps on our roads? If you want a change, do not vote based on sentiments. Find a way to your constituency and get involved in politics. Let's kick out these wrinkled men and say no to corruption/dirty politics. We are the leaders of today. Amen!

If your pastor isn't one of us, the "masses", he shouldn't tell you who to vote for. He doesn't feel the brute of bad governance like you do, you know? Nobody has the right to decide for you. Pray, think, form your independent opinion and vote wisely. All my love, Anuoluwapo.

He sent me flowers

Hi bloghearts, see what I found on twitter

Say no to domestic violence. Don't bully your partner. Don't hit or speak down at him/her. Support victims of domestic violence. I'm not a fan of divorce but your life is too precious. Anyone wants to write on domestic violence? Love, Anuoluwapo.

Lies men tell

Hello bloghearts, how are you doing? Men lie, women lie. First of all, allow me advertise my goods. #SupportASister

‎Thrill your woman this valentine with our love hampers. The beautiful custom made pack contains a bottle of champagne, a box of chocolates, a pack of cookies, manicure set, foot scrub, body lotion cupcakes and a card all for 10k. Delivery service is available on the13th and 15th due to the general elections on valentine's day. Kindly place your orders early so the pack can be made on time and do share with your loved ones. Thanks.

Beautiful Toke Makinwa's latest vlog is about lies men tell. Dear men, don't get worked up, it's all fun. The turn for the female folk will soon be here. One thing I took from the vlog is not only to listen to a man (or woman's) words but also their actions. What man loves you and makes you feel like a bother? If you don't feel he is being truthful, he probably isn't.

Toke went on to have a discussion about this with her followers. I have munched some of their responses, sad but funny.

Why do I feel sorry for the wife?

The new bororo girl may be black inside

Wishing his family death for how many mins of fun?

Anuchef: Pepper steak

Hello bloghearts. Sorry I couldn't post at the usual time. The recipes I post have are of meals I have tried and certain you would love. I usually modify these recipes to suit my taste and environment. I have another sexy recipe. Try this and add 5yards to your wifey/husband material :D

Ingredients

• Boneless beef  

•  1.5 tablespoon of olive oil  

•  1 big piece each of red, green and yellow pepper  

•  Garlic    

• 1 onion bulb  

• 1 tablespoon soy sauce  

Procedure

• Slice beef into very thin strips 

• Heat 1 tbsp  oil in pan 

•  Add beef and stir-fry until juices evaporate 

•  Add remaining oil 

•  Add peppers, garlic and onion and cook under tender crisp. 

•  Add sauce  

•  Heat it through on low/moderate heat. 

•  Serve with rice, pasta, potatoes... My first choice is always basmati rice.

Thanks for reading. Leave a comment. If you make it, let me know if you like it, photos are also welcome. Feedback is good. I'll most likely be posting an hilarious post I saw on IG next. Kindly send in your posts, topics and recipes of your favourite local and continental dishes/drinks. All my love, Anuoluwapo.

My first love

"I thought I would start my speech by addressing you as the “new” family of my daughter. But I think it would be inappropriate because now that she is married, you are “the family” for her. Believe me; I don’t have a problem with that. I, in fact, want my daughter to have “you” as her priority now. Its time for us to take a backseat in her life. We would happily accept it but would surely request one thing- please keep her happy! She will perhaps be happier than what she used to be here. But like all fathers, I obsess over my daughter’s happiness. She never was and will never be a burden for me. She is in fact the reason why I breathe and smile. I am getting her married because this is what the law of nature demands. I am helpless in the face of our culture and therefore sending her to your home. She was the happiness of my home and will now light up your home. I am giving my world to you. Please make sure it remains beautiful. I am giving away my princess to you. Please make sure she stays as a queen. For all the care, love, beauty and warmth my daughter will bring into your lives, I just want her happiness in return—please keep her happy! If at times you think that my daughter has said or done something wrong, feel free to scold her. But handle her with love. She is very fragile. If at times she feels low, be with her. She just needs a little bit of your attention. If at times she feels sick, show her some care. It’s the medicine that works best for her. If at times she fails to fulfill a responsibility, feel free to chastise her. But empathize with her. She is still learning. Please keep her happy! I don’t mind if I don’t get to see her for months. I don’t mind if I am not able to talk to her on a daily basis. I would be more than happy if she doesn’t remember me much. But, my only motive in life has been my daughter’s happiness which is now in your hands. I beg you, please keep her happy. Dear son-in-law, these words may not mean much to you now but if you are lucky enough to father a daughter someday, you will appreciate them better when you will find every beat of your heart shouting – “Please keep her HAPPY”

I culled this from @weddingdigestnaija on IG. I bet this is how my dad felt. I saw him have mixed
emotions at my traditional wedding. Happy his baby was getting married and sad she would be leaving home. My CBM had to wipe tears and cattarh off my face during the vows. I cried hard, didn't want to leave. But God said pack your bags. When pastor says pray for your family. Since I can't stop him to ask if he means my husband or dad, mom and brother, I pray for everyone. It's a win-win for me!! More family to love and to love me. I miss my parents in ways I never knew I would. Should I feel guilty because i'm happier and feel at home in my home? :d

I'm all mushy mushy now. Thanks for reading lovers. Don't forget to leave a comment *wink* Yours in "mushyness", Anuoluwapo.

*mushy mushy = emotional
 CBM = Chief bride's maid

Unfriendly friend

I see dps and pms saying we should have no care for people who don't treat us well. Paying people back in their own coins. But is life really that serious? Of course, I wouldn't expect you to be besties with someone who treats you poorly. You can be acquaintances, help out when you can, be kind, say hello with a smile. They have issues? Pray for them. Don't repay evil for evil. Matt 5:43-48; Luke 6:32. No point forming needless friendship and hurting yourself in the process.

I noticed I have a bad tendency to treat people based on how they treat me. I started working on it last year but gosh, it's hard. When someone I hold dearly treats me shabbily, I often forget to react equally. When that person repeats the same or similar acts, I stop going out of my way to be nice. Why should I be nice to you when you're unfair? I thought we're friends, I do this for you. Instead of doing same for me, you do it for other people. If they are better friends to you then I can stop right? *rme* The little things matter the most.

What would you do if someone treats you unfairly? An example? You patronise her and help publicize her business. You see her do same for others but not for you. Would you be indifferent or hurt? Keep supporting her business or move to another? For me, I may stop being a friend and carrying her matter for head but definitely not a frenemy. Life's short!

Thanks for reading bloghearts. Now kindly share your opinion/experiences. Love love, Anuoluwapo.

Luke 6:32 "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them."

Dps = Display pictures

Pms = Personal messages

My makeover

My bloghearts of life, how art thou? I got a makeover from my friend, Madam C.E.O. of Beautycurves and thought to share like I promised. See as I fine, "we" thank God for makeup. I broke out a day before the makeover, she covered it beautifully. I enjoy makeovers so my face would always be a ready canvass for my friends. + what better way is there to support their businesses? And no, I won't start wearing makeup.

Blowing kisses your way lovers

Aren't my baby locs so beautiful and growing fast? You need to see the back. I love how it "dances" when I shake my head. Reminds me of how my younger sister and birthday mate wouldn't stop shaking her head after fixing "telephone wire" when she was younger. Remember that weave ladies? Lol!  I've been semi free forming for months to strengthen my roots which is the reason why I have some unlocked undergrowth. They are so convenient for me #AsABushGirl I wash, oil and feel beautiful. Thanks BeautyCurves. Thanks y'all, Anuoluwapo.

P.S. You can catch up with BeautyCurves on IG @beautycurves

How to be a Modern day Man of God

My dear bloghearts, how are you doing? Hope you're enjoying 2015? If you count your blessings and choose to be happy, you'll enjoy it.

This post was sent in by a new blogheart and my learned senior, Dapo Odunaiya. This satire mocks the extravagance and barbaric actions of some pastors. Kicking a pregnant woman in the belly, having sexual intercourse with a woman desirous of having a child, walking on church members or asking them to eat grass in the name of deliverance? Do not roll your eyes, no one is judging God's anointed or doing God's prophet harm. I'm not against a pastor owning luxury cars if his members are not starving. Pastor will not come and die now. His family can also go on vacations like yours. A pregnant active worker in a church was telling me how she couldn't feed and pay her kids' school fees. But I see her pastor "chopping the life of his head" private jet style. #WhoAmIToJudge? Kindly activate your sense of humour, don't hesitate to smile. Don't hold back the giggles and laughs. Now enjoy.

Man of God, yours is a call to ministry by the most High God, theirs, as a congregation, is a call to service and worship. Make sure you draw this line clearly from the onset so that members of the congregation don’t begin to look at you like equals (if you were, they will be the one on the pulpit, not you. Respect is very important)
Make sure you have a dedicated chair, microphone and pulpit. Emphasise that they have been specially sanctified for your personal use and anyone who flouts this instruction will be united with Brother Uzzah.
Hallelujah the church is marching on, and so should your gadgets too. Opening a monthly tab on the church account for your ipad, blackberry and Dstv is a must! After all they don’t expect you to communicate with only spiritual beings do they?? Oh yes, make sure this divine courtesy is extended to your darling wife, “mummy of the parish”. If the church grumbles, remind them that a mother must be in constant touch with her children.
You must not repeat the same suit and tie. If this happens SCREAM and sound the alarm of poverty in the land. Be sure to collect a special offering for “Pastor’s garment upgrade”. If anyone dares complain, call fire on them from the sky.
Make sure you dedicate only jets, jeeps and SUVs. All those young hustlers bringing in “baby boy, golf 4, end of discussion etc” can go and dedicate it at their respective house fellowships, end of discussion!
Do not grace any naming ceremony that a cow is not involved. Any of your ministers can represent you. If they accuse you of being partial, lecture them on the importance of delegation and conclude by sending a word to their fathers. Nonsense! Do they think you got to the position of Parish Pastor by wasting time on frivolities??
Back to the matter, when you are speaking in tongues no other church member must talk (are you mates?) can there be two anointed ones in the house? Anyone that opens his mouth to speak should be accused of blasphemy and stoned. Yes ke! You have to be very firm otherwise the whole church will begin to speak in tongues and then it becomes difficult to separate you from them.
During Holy Communion, you are entitled to a private feast with your maker after which the members of the congregation can come for the crumbs. Be sure to collect an offering of “special communion privilege” for the favour they have just received.
See it’s not impossible that some members begin to run their mouth about your pastoral style. Don’t you worry just identify these people, conduct a special mandatory deliverance service
and slap the demons out of them (each teeth that removes is a demon succumbing to your heavenly slaps).
On Church expansion, emphasise to them the importance of branding and location. You should be looking at areas like: Ajah, Ikoyi, Lekki etc. Any member that suggests: Mushin, Oshodi, Okokomaiko etc is a child of perdition and such one should be banished from the congregation.
Acquisition of a private jet is a MUST. Every member must sell ALL (scream this part well) their possessions to realise this goal. Tell them the story of Brother Ananias and Sister Saphira .Any attempt to flee town or relocate with personal effects will prove futile as they will be visited and destroyed by the host of heaven.
On the issue of evangelism, make them realise that your BBM display pix, from January 1st has been “Repent, God loves you” and yet they go about saying you don’t preach? Their father! Have they not heard that the world has now become a global village?? Must you run through the streets evangelising when you can minister to all your contacts via BBM?
As many that decide to leave your church, let them go. Is it not written that “He came to His own and His own knew Him not?”
Ride on jare Man of God. 
God bless your hustle.

Thanks Uncle Dapo :d for sending it in. Thanks for reading bloghearts. Have a post for us? Do send to tarabauer01@gmail.com. You know I love you, right?Anuoluwapo.

Anuchef: Chicken stir fry in vegetable sauce

Here is the recipe of the Chinese meal I made on my wedding anniversary, which I promised to post, before y'all bully me to death. It's a really nice and easy meal. Not every time pound yam or turn garri abeg. Celebrate yourself and make a sexy meal often.

Ingredients
2 cups of chicken (shredded)
1 teaspoon of soy sauce
1.5 tablespoon of corn starch
Red wine(optional)
2 sticks of carrots
Peppers (1 each of yellow, green and red)
1 Onion bulb
1 clove of garlic
1 teaspoon butter
Pinch brown sugar
0.5 cooking spoon of olive oil
Seasoning cubes/salt (to taste)
0.3 cup of water

Procedure

• Marinate the chicken with soy sauce, corn starch and red wine for an hour or two
• Slice vegetables
• Heat butter in pan
• Stir fry chicken till browned on medium heat and take it out
• Add oil to pan and fry the vegetables
• Add the chicken and stir fry
• Add sugar and salt
• Add water and allow to simmer for about 5 minutes on low/medium heat
• Serve with rice or pasta
• Please eat.lol
• 

Happy belated Anniversary to me and mine

Naaah, you don't have to thank me profusely for the recipe, what are friends for? *wink* I have another sexy recipe waiting for you. I'll be posting a Blogheart's satire, How to be a modern day man of God next. You don't want to miss it. Thanks for reading, please leave a comment. I got nothing but love for you. Anuoluwapo

Besties and a groom

You meet a guy(or babe) you really like. You go on dates and form a friendship. You know that yeye kind of friendship you're so into each other but you still form just friends? Okay, good. So your best friend shows up at one at your dates and urges him to take you on a proper romantic date. You go "We're just friends" and she offers herself as a romantic date.

Fast forward. The sharp friend is becoming the bride and you're the CBM. It's a fortnight to the wedding, you have a talk with the groom and realise you've both been bottling emotions. You're very much in love with each other. It's not your bestie's fault you gave her "your" man on a platter of gold.

What would you do? Go for "your" man, at least they are not married yet or leave him to her? If you're like me and can't imagine it happening to you, how would you advise the CBM in that position?


Thanks for reading bloghearts. Now talk to me. I'll also share my opinion and how it ended in the comment section. Love love, Anuoluwapo.

*CBM = Chief bride's maid

Food? Sex? Way to a man's heart?

Hi bloghearts, howdy? You know how people say the way to a man's heart is through his tummy and Yorubas say Olobe lo l'oko? If sex is, why do some men want to marry virgins/decent girls? Why aren't prostitutes getting the hearts of their clients? Almost every man, if not all, I know loves good home cooked meals. Even the single ones want girlfriends cooking for them. Food is important.

Some swear that sex is the way. If the Mrs can not cook, they can eat out or get a cook. She can be helped in the kitchen but not in the room.

What do you think? I know what I think but I'll love to hear from you before I say. 2015, our year of getting interactive. Amen?

Thanks for reading guys. I really am grateful. There's a funny post, a satire, sent in by a new blogheart - How to be a modern day man of God, you don't want to miss it. I also got a ghenghen makeover by my friend cum mua of life. O serious gan *wink* Don't miss it. Love you, love you. Anuoluwapo.

*Olobe lo l'oko = The hubby belongs to the good cook
 Mua = Makeup artiste
 Ghenghen = Serious?
 O serious gan = It's very serious

Anuchef: Vegetable fried rice

My dear bloghearts, did you miss me? I hope you had a very Merry Christmas and a good New Year celebration. I did! Thank God for Jesus, love, family and the hubby's friends. On Christmas I went to church, visited family, cooked, visited family again. It was such a good celebration. Christmas is my favourite time of the year. The only thing I don't like about it is that one gets bloated from having so much to eat and drink. So I got compliments from my vegetable fried rice and thought to share the recipe with you even though you know how to make it already. I made a Chinese meal too, will post the recipe soon *winks*

Ingredients
Rice
Vegetable oil
Carrots
Red pepper
Green pepper
Yellow pepper
Liver
Onions

Curry
Thyme
Green peas
Sweet corn
Seasoning cubes
Salt
Chicken stock (optional)
Water

Previous day preps
Clean and season your chicken and put back in the refrigerator so it can absorb the seasoning.
Boil your chicken. If you want to stew it, you can fry and stew the following day.
Refrigerate the stock so you can easily remove the fat that would float.
Boil the liver with salt. I parboil mine and chop when it is cooked.
You can also clean and chop your carrots and peppers. I leave out the onions because I don't like my fridge smelling of onions. Canned/mixed veggies do not taste half as good as fresh vegetables.

Recipe

• Wash and parboil your rice. Make sure it is 3/4 cooked.
• Clean and chop onions.
• In a bigger pot, fry your peppers, carrots, onions and liver with little oil. Hello, this is not chips, we're not deep frying, we don't want oily rice.
• I add curry and thyme here. It gets it's green colour from the curry but you don't want a yucky green colour.
• Stir in the rice in bits so you can manage the mixing. I also add the seasoning cubes at intervals.
• If you're using stock, you should be mindful of how much salt you put in the rice. It could be salty.
• Add water/stock, just enough to steam the rice.
• Add your sweet corn and green peas when the rice is almost done as they are soft already. Although I added them earlier if what I'm making is much so I don't have to stir again later on.
• Leave to steam on low heat.
• Serve with salad/coleslaw, moinmoin or plantain.

P.S. You can make your rice in a day. Only that it keeps you in the kitchen for a long time at a stretch and your meal may not be ready on time.

Thanks for reading, do say hello. Have a prosperous 2015, Anuoluwapo.

Happy New Year bloghearts!!

It's 2015! Thank God for blessing us with another year. Hope you had a wonderful celebration and left Christ in Christmas? If you're like me, you're still celebrating. Enjoy!

2015 will be an amazing year for us IJN! Blessings, upliftments, promotions are our portion. Your hustle will not remain the same, if you have a hustle and work hard. Amen! Hopefully we'll have fun on the blog too. I have some posts you don't want to miss lined up already. Don't forget I'll always be glad to put up your posts. Please send them to tarabauer01@gmail.com. This is our year of getting interactive, say amen. Promise me you'll not only read but laugh/smile, leave a comment and share with your loved ones. Thank you, I love you.

I made fried rice twice this festive period due to popular demand. My rice is bad ass like that. I know you can make it too but still read ehn, thanks. I also make a chinese meal and ice cream. Watch this space for the recipes.

What's the year going to be like for you? I know how I want mine already but it's up to God to approve or modify. 2014 was a good year, 2015 will be better. I know I want to be a better person. Starting from today I'll put God first in all, be happy, love unconditionally, say no to grudges, refuse to treat people based on how they treat me, let go of pains, hurts, people who do not appreciate me, be more humble, kind and generous, eat healthy, be serious with school and finish this year, be a fitfam, amongst others things. I'm also doing 30days of thanksgiving where I would thank God for something everyday for 30days. Feel free to join in. Sounds like New Year Resolutions. Do you still make resolutions? I didn't until now.

Thank you for reading and your kind words. I was really inspired by you during my break from blogging. Bless your hearts. Happy New Year bloghearts, Anuoluwapo.


*IJN = In Jesus' Name
 Fit fam = Fitness family

*P.S. I'm not back from my break. Came in to wish you the very best of 2015. Have a prosperous one. Do read the older posts you may have missed. I'll be back soon. Xo