Monday, 15 September 2014
Degrees but no M.A.N
What is this young lady of charisma and poise? This lady that oozes class, her body is magnificent and her brain functions at 40% (human brain is known to fully function at 20%). She’s got it all at her tender age of 30, LL.B, B.L,LL.M and yet no M.A.N. Multinational company employer, indispensable worker, employee of the year, her job is her life yet unhappiness lies within her. Her comfort is in the bottle and how much wine she can consume to celebrate her wins.
My friends are married; they have kids of their own. I land business deals, I seal contracts yet I cant land a M.A.N. I preach nothing but independence for the female gender. If the man can do it, why can’t you? The super African woman, the black skin, elegant woman, obedient to her husband and upholds her home, mother to her children and hope to her country. However, there is a space the man fills.
You can say to yourself, I don’t need a man, you can act strong to the outside world but when you clock those late 20s, it pinches you….that little voice in your head when you buy aso- ebi, when you organise bachelorette nights and baby showers, you can choose to ignore it but it is always there, reminding you of the necessary…M.A.N
They can be undeserving, they hurt, they can be irrational and annoying yet they can be sweet, they can be real, they can be the most amazing happening in your life’s existence….Who says you can’t have it all? Be the supporting wife, the amazing mother and the employee of the year….. DEGREE, MASTERS AND M.A.N.
Anu told me to write a piece for the blog about a month now but the lazy girl that I am is just sending in the piece, its not so amazing, it’s the second time I would have to write a piece for blogging, thanks Anu for this opportunity, I hope the readers enjoy it.
I hope they do. It's funny how people say "Take your time, they no dey catch late comer for marriage, you're the best fruit on the top of the tree" which may be very true. Yet they shove aso-ebi in your face everyday, they take every opportunity to pray for a life partner for you, tell you how amazing their spouses are. You can't even smile and save nice styles on Instagram in peace. Photos and stories of proposals everywhere. Pre-wedding photos and videos taken too seriously. Facebook? Arrrgh, na so so wedding invites, wedding and baby photos. Even those that have been engaged for 4years will be giving attitude. Lmao! The relatives and friends acting up and asking funny questions.
What I think? Don't let it get to you. Do not attempt to get jealous or upset. Being jealous means you think you deserve it more than they do. That's so not the way forward. Be genuinely happy for others. Even the Bible says rejoice with those who rejoice. And that there are weddings every Saturday, Thursday or whenever doesn't mean your spouse has been stolen from you. Do not settle because of the pressure. Also, don't pose too much. If you say no to guys you should have said yes to, don't expect the patient girl who has stuck with that cute eligible bachelor in your office for 4 years to gladly release him to you.
You also need to know that Instagram and Facebook na wash. It's not always as beautiful as they portray. Abi have you seen anyone post "I'm so upset, my wife just talked me down" or "My daughter just told me Sandra's mom is a better cook" or "My husband just had sex with our maid". We know these things happen but who do they happen to as everyone is in the perfect marriage. They won't tell you. I'm not saying marriage is miserable but you should know there are down times which should be a whole lot less than the happy times. Divorce rate is escalating, who are the people divorcing? Calm down, enjoy being single and open your eyes.
Thank you so much Tayo darling. Write again sometime soon? Thanks for reading y'all. Please come again. Xo, Anuoluwapo