Thursday, 29 January 2015

Dear toaster

Dear bloghearts, how are you doing? You asked for fun posts, here is an hilarious post I found on Wedding digest's IG page. Continue to read a lady's note to her toaster.

Hey there! I appreciate the fact that you consider me to be worthy of your toasting. Really I do. We’ve been on this for over six months now. I don’t know whether the fact that your moves haven’t brought much progress bothers you at all. I’m bothered for you because you keep doing all the wrong things. Leaving 20 missed calls on my phone at 6am. Honestly, I am confused. Is it that you don’t sleep or you don’t have work to go to? It’s not normal behaviour oh. Even if you saw me in your dreams, if you called the first two times and I didn’t pick then simply leave a message. I’ll definitely call back. Leaving 20 missed calls at any point in the day. I was trying to be nice but it’s not going to help you. So here it is – leaving 20 missed calls on my phone is not ok at any time during the day. It makes me feel like you are jobless. Even if the love is doing you one kind on the inside, try and calm down small ehn? Showing up in my office unannounced. I can never forget the day the receptionist came to tell me that Tunde was looking for me. Which Tunde? I’m sure you saw the shock on my face when I saw it was you. Don’t think it’s because I was touched. No. I couldn’t believe you were turning out to be a stalker. We had only talked twice on the phone and you decided to Google the name of my office and show up at my reception. Who does that? Asking jamb questions when you call. I know you care and all but it really annoys me when you start asking me if I’ve eaten, what I ate and how many hours ago I ate the food. You remember that afternoon you called and you asked me what I ate for lunch. You also asked what I ate for breakfast and what I will eat for dinner. Hian. Using a different number to call me and not saying anything. You do know that there is an app called trucaller right? So every time you call me with a different number feeling like a bad guy, I know it is you. Please stop. I really hope that after you read this, I will see some improvement in your tactics. If not, I’m afraid even that friend zone… you will be demoted from that position. Written by #DoyinJaiyesimi

I hope you had a good laugh and picked something. Stalking or obsession  is never attractive. Thanks for reading lovers, Anuoluwapo.

22 comments:

Esquire said...

loooool. very very interesting. i love the way she expressed her concerns to the stalker (Tunde). Its obvious Tunde still needs some advise on how to go about this kind of business. Habaaa Tunde, its not like this naa.

Tunde, we can toast her for you sha but you will have to pay for our services. lol

Erniesha Tibs said...

Erhmmm...I read this with my mouth open mami....I mean, 20 missed call got me screaming...I mean really???....Oh boy!! This is obsession...I mean, this is way far from stalking mehn...

Eniwealth said...

Funny read. I wish I had the app.

ire said...

LMAO!

Lohla Windfall said...

There truly are some people like this oh best believe.

Anonymous said...

I smiled from the beginning to the end. Nice one

Ayangalu, the drummer boy said...

I feel d dude. I once flashed a lady 150 times. Sigh.......days of ignorance.

Anonymous said...

This Tunde na desperado, him own too much. Women adore their space & once u are too desperate, they'll just get irritated.

Riike said...

He no get job?

Anuoluwapo said...

Lol, thanks

Anuoluwapo said...

As in! Really obsession. Thanks

Anuoluwapo said...

I don't have the app. I copy and paste from ig. Thanks babes

Anuoluwapo said...

:d thanks

Anuoluwapo said...

Yes! Thanks babe

Anuoluwapo said...

I'm glad, thanks

Anuoluwapo said...

lover boy something, lol. Thanks

Anuoluwapo said...

On point, thanks

Anuoluwapo said...

Or he isn't interested with his job. Thanks

Toinlicious said...

Ordinary 20 missed calls? Your case is even better. I have 87 missed call. In fact, let me go blog about it sef

Anuoluwapo said...

Oh true caller? I need it too

Anuoluwapo said...

Hian, 87? He must have drained your battery

Toinlicious said...

Oh i finally did my post on stalking. Read here: http://www.toinlicious.blogspot.com/2015/03/love-found-me.html