Friday, 14 November 2014

It takes two better halves

My dear Eniwealth wanted me to write on equality in marriage in relation to doing chores in the home. My conclusion is that a wife can successfully run a happy home, doing chores, cooking, catering to the kids and hubby. When the hubby helps out, it's sweet, thoughtful and everyone is happier. Continue to read what I sent to her.

It's important to know and understand the theory of marriage and how it works to some extent. If you can't cook, do chores and be submissive, don't go into marriage. The primary responsibilities are to cater to your family, provide the necessary satisfactions, birth kids and smile while at it. You may only work to augment what the hubby brings home, only if it doesn't adversely affect the family. And oh, loads of patience. Hubby is lord, please him. Isn't that the African mentally we're taught? It did work for our mothers.

It, however, doesn't always work this way now. The 21st century babe is getting educated, paid and paying her bills. She doesn't depend on a man to be happy or fulfilled. She has goals she's not ready to give up. She compartmentalises her life - Wife, mother, entrepreneur. She travels the world for business and pleasure. She doesn't tie wrapper simply because she is a Mrs or Mom.

It's hard to have a woman who works 8am-8pm to provide 3meals/day for the family and do the chores. A traditional man would rather she takes a teaching/ministry job and close by 4pm or have no ambition because he can not see himself bathing his kids or helping around his house. If the wife takes the have loads of patience and perseverance advice, there may be a few nags here and there but she'll gba kamu and be happy.

A man who loves his wife and understands the importance of friendship in marriage would help his wife. It makes marriage a lot easier. Between the wife chopping onions and hubby adding curry and thyme, there is bound to be lots of laughter and playfulness. The gap between older generation couples is filled up. Mommy isn't scared of daddy and doesn't have to yes sir him. They share chores or do almost everything together, imagine how intimate they would be. They radiate love, happiness and can't help PDAing. She wouldn't even be too 
tired to give him some *wink* How will hubby give you breakfast in bed and you won't have a great day. A domestic help can never fill the gap. Their offspring grows up to be happy, loving and kind, understanding that the opposite sex isn't an object and shouldn't be used.

The minute a wife thinks she is equal to her man is the minute problems start. A man's ego can't take it. I'm not saying the man is better. After all, the home is the wife's to run. She is the neck that guides the head. She only needs to submit, grease his ego and he'll leave her to make reasonable decisions. When he feels superior to the wife and leaves the chores to her, she may persevere and choose to be happy. But when he helps out in the house, everybody is happier.

*gba kamu = take it in it's stride
 yes sir = be formal
 PDA = public display of affection

You should read what Eniwealth went on to say  here And oh, she's having a giveaway on her blog. *winks* Thank you for reading, Anuoluwapo.


ire said...

Finally I get to comment. Well done girl

Riike said...


Mojisola said...

Nice post BUT. . .drum roll...I disagree. Marriage is more than just doing chores and the woman that suffers n smiles while trying to do all that you say will end up bitter or worse, kill herself with work. The help I want from hubby no pass, serve yourself if I am tired if stew dey n I have to close late boil rice or at least don't complain. Bring in the clothes don't eat m drop the plate in a clean sink. Help the kids with their homework. Let's face it I would prefer to stay at home n play wife n mother but since I cannot, hey show some appreciation. Money does not make a husband and wife equal but be a wise king n remember that kindness to your wife will go a long way.

Anuoluwapo said...

My point is if you want a really happy home, get involved, which seems like what you're also saying.
You know there are men who do not help out? Who think all they need contribute is their money. The wives don't die, they may get a maid or two but do not experience the joy of having a partner who is involved. Even if you have a maid, there are still ways to be involved.

Thank you Mojisola

Anuoluwapo said...

Thank you Ire

Anuoluwapo said...

Thanks Riike

Esquire said...

Good write up

Anuoluwapo said...

Thank you

Anonymous said...

I recommend this post to couples especially d new ones. There are lots of ways to make a woman happy but helping out with chores ranks amongst the top 3. Money back guaranteed if this doesn't work(from anu) help out at home and u'll have a very happy woman.