Wednesday, 24 December 2014

Bedmatics 102 - Sex toys

So I was having random thoughts the other day and adult toys jumped in from no where. I'm also talking about organ enhancers/ tighteners, sex tapes, books and magazines, aphrodisiacs, etc. Are they necessary in a healthy sexual relationship? Is it morally right? Should a christian use one? Why are we shy/ashamed to buy one? I don't know, do you?

I know it's wrong to masturbate with or without a toy. It's also wrong to use one on a person one isn't supposed to be with. Is it okay to use a dildo on your babe? Would you role play, get costumes, plastic handcuffs and maybe a whip?

I think it's kinky to get edible underwear and sexy lingerie. But enhancers, sweeteners, porn, toys? Are those necessary? Abi are you bitter ni?

We have misplaced priorities. Sex is not a way to build our relationships. Monkey in the snake island position or anal wouldn't keep a relationship, you know? Life is too short not to have fun with the boo but where do you draw the line?

Thanks for reading bloghearts. Do tell me what you think. I'm considering taking a break to savour every minute of Christmas, my cotton anniversary and the new year. If you don't hear from me, do read some of the older posts you missed. I love you peeps. Have a very Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New year, Anuoluwapo.

P.S. Find my take on masturbation here

Sunday, 21 December 2014

That troublesome family member

I'm sure most of you have heard about actress Stephanie Okereke Linus' elder brother who has been charged to court for rape. From reports of faceless ladies who claim to have been his victims, he seems to me like the sort of guy that believes he has a right to a lady's body because he bought her 400naira mtn airtime, took her to lunch or the lady came visiting. I may be wrong. The guy has admitted his wrong and asked for forgiveness, if the reports are true.

Mrs Linus runs a charity organization that helps ladies with VVF. I hear her new movie, Dry, is about it. See what her brother is doing to himself and his family. Whether we like it or not, Stephanie's name will always be linked to the mess he created.

In the statement she released, Stephanie spoke against rape and urged her brother's prosecution, asking that the court determines his guilty or otherwise. Isn't that commendable? Like almost unbelievable in a society where one would witness a family member commit a crime and still be trying to press buttons to save him. In her hurt, she has chosen to stand for justice not because she has no connections. Besides the people she would have met, Dr Ndi Okereke-Onyiuke has been reported to be her relative.

The Nigerian in me couldn't hide when I asked myself what I would have done if I were in her shoes. I couldn't help but mutter "God forbid, God forbid in Jesus' name." It's persons like her we need in politics, not those hungry and greedy entertainers trying to have a slice of the national cake. God bless and keep her strong. I'm not going to ask you what you would have done in her shoes. May our loved ones not put us in tough situations. Have one? May God help to keep loving, praying for and talking to him/her.

Thanks for reading dear bloghearts. Some humour soon? Have a great week, Anuoluwapo.

*VVF = Vesico Vaginal Fistula

Friday, 19 December 2014

My Anniversary

Almost everyone celebrates an important event that happened in the previous year. In fact I would term Nigeria as the global hub for celebrations. We love celebrating oh. Some people even go out of their way to borrow money to celebrate important dates in their lives. It’s that serious!! They don’t want to “carry last”  “patapata na draw” according to the Warri folks.
Anniversary just like i mentioned above is simply a day on which an important event happened in the previous year. The Latin word is anniversarius meaning for the year and to return (returning).  We all have several important events that we love celebrating. They range from, birthdays to company or business anniversaries, blog anniversaries, wedding anniversaries etc. The wedding anniversaries are really important events for married couples. It’s a time to reflect at the past, make plans for the future, work on the issues experienced and suggest ways of bonding better etc.
I searched and came across the names of anniversary years especially the wedding anniversary decided to share this. I actually thought it was just the silver jubilee and the Golden jubilee that was available. Every year has a unique name and this makes it very important. Thanking God and looking forward to the next unique anniversary with your partner. Kindly find below the names. If you are married, which anniversary are you presently on?
1 year is a paper anniversary
2 years is a cotton anniversary
3 years is a leather anniversary
4 years is a linen anniversary
5 years is a wood anniversary
6 years is an iron anniversary
7 years is a wool anniversary
8 years is a bronze anniversary
9 years is a copper anniversary
10 years is a tin (or aluminium) anniversary
11 years is a steel anniversary
12 years is a silk anniversary
13 years is a lace anniversary
14 years is an ivory anniversary
15 years is a crystal anniversary
17 years is a turquoise anniversary
18 years is a lapis anniversary
20 years is a china (porcelain) anniversary
25 years is a Silver Jubilee or silver wedding anniversary
30 years is a pearl anniversary
35 years is a coral (or jade) anniversary
40 years is a ruby anniversary
45 years is a sapphire anniversary
50 years is a Golden Jubilee -          
55 years is an emerald anniversary
60 years is a Diamond Jubilee
65 years is a blue sapphire anniversary
70 years is a Platinum Jubilee.
75 years is a diamond wedding anniversary
80 years is an oak wedding anniversary
Most often we buy gifts for our spouses. Another way make it fun is to buy gifts as it relates to your present year anniversary. For example this year I am celebrating wood anniversary. I can decide to buy my wife gifts made of wood. Eg. A beautiful wooden dressing set. Next year is our iron anniversary. I will be expecting a car gift from my wife. *Wink*

Lol at car, aeroplane nko? Thanks Esquire for this post. I'm so excited about my cotton anniversary in a few days. I guess the hubby should be expecting a pack of cotton singlets :D Thanks for reading dear bloghearts. Anuoluwapo.

P.S. Ilorin bloghearts are invited to celebrate the birth of Christ in a Christmas carol service by 3pm at RCCG El-Shaddai Parish. 10 Owa Kajola Street, (off Flowergarden), GRA. Theme: Born to Reign. Contact me for further directions.

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

My expensive body oil

If you know me, by now you should know that I'm an unrepentant bush girl. I do not know how to apply any kind of makeup, managing weaves is war, to rub cream sef wahala. When moms are complaining about tattoos and piercings, mine is saying "Will the white powder I gave you use itself?" "You didn't comb this hair oh. Ahah mommy, I combed it nah. Okay you didn't comb it well."

I was minding my business quietly when I got a broadcast message about a promo on body oils and I had seen beautiful photos of the sender's supposed clients. Seeing harmattan creeping in, I felt I would need a bottle of oil for the season so I thought to talk to her. She recommended one. I asked her the price. She replied 20k. I asked her how much it is without the promo, she said 30k. I had heard about Egyptian milk and some bleaching people spending 200k monthly on their skin products. Giving the 200k to Hope Orphanage or paying the jamb/waec fees of some indigent students would be impacting lives.

I guess it's one of the secrets of those very fine flawless babes in music videos and tormenting instagram. You'll see some girls and wonder if God made you with made with okrika clay. It's funny, in a sad way, when an undergraduate from an humble background also uses these oils. If you can conveniently afford it, good. I recently found out that a flawless babe uses an expensive body cream. She has her business and works hard. She can choose to spoil herself in whatever way she chooses to. If you however have to sleep around, do some silly things, or have no savings because you want to kill your neighbourhood, you may have a problem.

You can get beautiful skin without breaking a bank. Google is your friend. Perhaps we could talk about oils and a few diy recipes sometime. What do you use on your skin? How much do you, would and would you not spend on a body cream/oil?

And that's my rant. Thank you for reading bloghearts. Have a post or topic for us? You can also share how you spend the holidays. Hit me up Look forward to Esquire's post. Let's remember to be moderate in everything. All my love, Anuoluwapo.

*sef wahala = is stress
 bleaching people = bleachers
 WAEC = West African Examination Council
 JAMB = Joint Admission Matriculation Board

P.S. I happen to know an amazing baker who is offering to sell christmas cakes for 2k. Interested in getting for yourself and your loved ones? Contact me. There MAY also be another freebie. Watch out.

Monday, 15 December 2014

22 + 1 mistakes single ladies make

1) You are dirty inwardly(character wise and hygienically) n pretend 2 be clean outside,you fail to look good and blame it on spirituality.

2) You pray for an excellent husband instead of becoming an excellent wife material.

3) You use money to buy a man and keep the relationship under your control.

4) You sell your destiny for marriage.

5) You stay in an unhealthy relationship because you are scared that if you break up with him, you may not find another man as good as him.

6) You give your heart to a man and later try to use your head.

7) You compete with your man instead of complementing him.

8) You use sex to get a man.

9) You work at a job that limit your progress in life.

10) You follow a man blindly without knowing who he really is.

11) You mistake romance for love.

12) You don't put God first in your life.

13) You mistake the availability of money for love.

14) You don't know what you want in life.

15) You fail to grow up in maturity.

16) You enter into a relationship with an unavailable man.

17) You force a relationship to stay alive.

18) You date different men at the same time giving each of them the impression that you are romantically interested in them when you really are not.

19) You compare your man with your father, brother, or other men in the past.

20) You adapt to an unhealthy relationship instead of demanding for change, respect and honour.

21) You fail to connect with quality, God fearing men in positive relationships.

22) You assumed the position of a wife, by cooking for your boyfriend, doing his laundry, and living with him.

23) You dress naked and stupidily all in the name of fashion and expect a God fearing man to come your way.

Sweethearts please try to adjust in whatever way you know you are doing one of this points I have listed above. I'm addressing myself as well. Let's make our lives better and worthy of Emulation! Let's live a life of a VIRTOUS WOMAN‎.

T‎hank you Yemi Adefioye, C.E.O. Fabgold hair, for letting me put up this. ‎Enjoyed reading bloghearts? Hopefully, we read from her again soon. We have a funny post from Esquire. I'm also going to write a piece that's cracking me up already. Don't miss out. Xo, Anuoluwapo.‎

Saturday, 13 December 2014

When daddy cheats on mommy

I often hear people say "I would never tell my friend her boyfriend is a cheat. I wouldn't even tell my sister her hubby sleeps around. I can't be the reason a marriage would break down. If I catch my dad sef, i'll rather blackmail him than tell my mom."

I also wouldn't want to be the cause of a break u. Isn't the cheat who couldn't keep his/her vows the cause? Is friendship only about the good times? What should a good friend/sister/daughter do? I read of someone who was upset and at a loss on what to do when she found out that her friend's husband was having an affair with her friend's twin.

Speaking with the cheat could be an option which could boomerang by the time he talks to the spouse. You could even tell your friend who would forgive the spouse and make you an enemy.

I don't know what I would do. I pray it doesn't happen to us. What would you do? Have you been in that situation? What did you do? Would you have your friend tell you or be quiet about it?

Thanks for reading bloghearts. I hope to read from you. Sure you had a good birthday blogheart Ayomide. Have a year as sweet as you are. Love, Anuoluwapo.

Thursday, 11 December 2014

Planning a wedding on a tight budget?

Planning a wedding on a budget? Come in here.

  1. Do not get carried by the wedding paparazzi on the internet/instagram. Your marriage is more important than the wedding day.
  2. Please do not borrow.
  3. Don't shy away from those who want to help.
  4. Keep your guest list to the barest minimum. Do not send wedding invites on facebook. You don't even need wedding invitation cards. Decide the number of guests you can cater to, make a guest list and make sure to invite not more than 3/4 of the number.
  5. Make a budget and ensure you don't exceed.
  6. Fix a work day. Not many people would love owambe to the extent of turning up by 9am on a Monday morning.
  7. Don't invite people too early so the gist wouldn't circulate.
  8. Think of a court marriage. It's cheaper than a church wedding.
  9. You can have a private "court" marriage. The registry official conduct the ceremony at the venue of your choice. This is more expensive than the general court marriage. You can alter the program to suit you, like have your pastor preach.
  10. Host guests once by having a very intimate parlour traditional wedding and invite your guests to the wedding reception; Combine the wedding reception with the traditional wedding; Or combine the private introduction and traditional ceremonies.
  11. Have a loved one who love cooking or can cook for that many people? Have her help out, get people to help her cook and serve afterwards.
  12. It's more convenient to have professionals cook and your people help out. There are some women, Olopo in yoruba, who don't charge much to cook.
  13. You can consider serving food in take-away packs.
  14. You are not mandated to serve all the foods eaten on earth. If it's only jollof rice and beef you can conveniently afford, please serve it. Anyone that wants Chinese should buy or make at here. Share the recipe HERE.
  15. Do not bother about souvenir or aso-ebi.
  16. Host the ceremonies at a venue you wouldn't pay to use like your home or church.
  17. Have loved ones clean up after the event.
  18. Have a loved one, church member,..., compere the ceremonies.
  19. Have your church choir be the band for the events.
  20. Rent or lend a wedding gown/aso-oke.
  21. If you're yoruba, you don't have to do the aso-oke outfit, you can make iro and buba from lace. The gele and ipele from aso-oke.
  22. Use shoes, purses and other accessories you already own.
  23. We all have that friend that makes up very well, have her make you up.
  24. Thank God you can change your rings, you don't have to buy diamonds now. Manage cheap rings for now.
  25. Choose simple designs of cakes and make sure not to exceed a certain budget on it.
  26. Honeymoon? Your home is filled with milk and honey in Jesus' name.
  27. An event planner can get you good deals. Need one? Call me *winks*
I should stop here. It depends on your budget, all the tips may not apply to you. Please feel free to add your tips or say hello. I'll do a post soon on how to host classy events. Thanks for reading. Much love, Anuoluwapo. 

Tuesday, 9 December 2014

Very good bahd girl

I was introduced to a very nice babe a few years back. Afterwards I started hearing gists about her, good gists. Everybody liked her. I found that we had mutual friends. We had several interactions and I  grew to like her too.

I'm not particularly friends with her but I found myself being her voltron on several occasions. "Why are you speaking ill of her? She's a good girl, back off." Her crime? She had a caring boyfriend but would still collect gifts from men, young or old, rich or poor, even the ones whose wives she was acquainted with. Maybe it's because I come from a small town or because men talk too much, the news circulated. You can bet even people who do not know her helped garnish and spread the gist. I believe she didn't date any of these men but she was taking gifts, cash and enjoying the free meals. She thought she was being a smart good girl. I must add greedy to it. Note each man didn't spend up to 20/50k on her but would talk like they credit her account with 1M everyday and take her shopping every weekend.

I remember one initially saying "I got this and this for her. I took her there yesterday. I'll definitely date her" Then he changed to "That stupid girl just collected all my money. I have forgotten her". Another chose to dent her boyfriend's image. Derogatory remarks on how he couldn't control his girl, she was vain, she was above him, she was using him were passed around.

These gifts do not make one rich. Now that he bought that human hair for you, are you any better? Would you die if you don't use the latest blackberry? I don't think we should accept gifts from men. We're not even mandated to take everything our boyfriends give us. You know a guy is giving you a gift because he covets your body, you smile sheepishly and take it. You're not being smart, it's being cheap.

Thank you for reading bloghearts. It will be nice to read more from you in the new year. Do send in posts to and I'll be glad to publish. You can also suggest topics. This post is dedicated to Karen. I didn't start writing this post until I saw your comment on the Christmas giveaway post. Much love, Anuoluwapo.

P.S. If you're in Ilorin for Christmas/New year, please get in touch.

Monday, 8 December 2014

Christmas freebies

2014 was a minute, right? When did the year begin again? I'm super excited about Christmas, the New year and the blessings coming with them. So should you.

Here is a chance to win nice blazers. If you're a guy, you could get one for your significant other, sister, friend or decorate your home with it :d

To win, please drop a comment telling me why you (do not) love the blog, what should be added, reduced or stopped. You're a new blogheart? Read up.
Have a very merry Christmas in advance!!!
Also include your e-mail address so I can contact you. If you are not in Ilorin, you'll have to arrange how it'll be sent to you. I look forward to your comments.

What are you cooking during the holidays? Do send recipes and photos. Heart heart, Anuoluwapo.

Wednesday, 3 December 2014

Tips to having a merry Christmas

  • Plan a road trip. Think of  a loved one outside town, your hometown, The whispering palms, Owu waterfalls, Erin-Ijesha warm and cold water springs, Sobi hills, Idanre hills, Ghana...
  • Travel destination. Plan a trip with loved ones and disturb our TL when you get back :d Ghana, Dubai, Gambia, Seycelles, Maldives. Scared of the cold? Think South-Africa
  • Visit a resort. Miccom golf course, Obudu cattle ranch,...
  • Don't be missing at the Christmas Day, Watchnight and New year services.
  • Attend one or more Christmas carols
  • Attend comedy shows/musical concerts
  • Visit loved ones. Friends work has deprived you of seeing.
  • Host a house party. Could be a come chop, barbeque party,...
  • Plan a fun day out with friends. Hit the beach, zoo, spa, karaoke bar,...
  • It's an opportunity to do something good again. Take gifts to and spend time with orphans, children with special needs,... It's a season where we, go out of our way to, show the selfless love of Christ afterall, if we're not already.
  • Give gifts to your loved ones. The price tag doesn't matter, the thought behind it does.
  • Have fun making a personalised family Christmas card.
  • Try out new recipes.
  • Sleep, catch up on movies. it's the holiday season afterall.
  • Do a cleanse, fast, water therapy,...
  • Say hello to everyone on your bbm
  • Have something undone on your to-do list for the year, do it.
  • Attempt writing out your blessings. Don't forget to add each minute of the year you have been alive. Have a grateful heart.
  • Understand the essence of Christmas and don't hesitate to share it.
  • X does not equal Christ. It's Xmas Christmas!
Thank you for reading bloghearts. Have yours planned out yet? Any Christmas/New year celebration stood out for you? Please feel free to add your tips to having a good celebration or just say hello. We should talk about freebies in the next post, yea? *winks* Enjoy, Anuoluwapo.

Saturday, 29 November 2014

Older guys Vs Younger guys 2

Okay so we don't wait for you guys maybe because we grew up together and many of you seem like brothers. We've seen you in all your elements, before you knew all about swag and class, with catarrh all over your face. Yea yea, you've seen us with our dresses stained, so what? So anyways, the friendzone is real :p

Okay, so even if you happen to escape from the strong walls of friendzone. After university, the world doesn't let us finish NYSC before they start with their silly interrogatory pleasantaries. "So how is your boyfriend?" "Awon uncle nko?" "Your bobo is taking care of you oh" "Oh girl, you have a wife glow. Something happening soon?" "Did you see Yemi's wedding photos?" Do I need to go on? You can't post a photo online in peace without a stupid "Aunty go and marry" comment. You don't believe? Go check Linda Ikeji and Genevieve Nnaji's pages. After masters and age 26? The pressure is real. An average guy your age isn't ready at 26. Some may not be ready until their mid or late thirties. And if you decide to wait for your high school or college sweetheart, you get harrassed by photos of weddings, babies, dps saying "my husband is the best." Thanks to the society, a lot of ladies can not wait. Love or no love, it's #FastestRouteToTheAltar

Then we see Aunty Tunrayo and Sis Grace who were dumped by their high school and college sweethearts at ages 29 and 33 because their exes had met fresh blooded 21 and 22year olds who tickle their fancy. 8 years on, they are still the subject of every family prayer meeting. No girl wants to be in their shoes. They can't afford to wait only to be dumped. So they leave the guy they love so much for the fastest
 way to the altar.

Oh, most of these guys are jerks with all the youthful exuberance in their bloodstreams. Girls mature faster. At 26, a Friday evening indoors, cooking, eating, dancing, cuddled up infront of the tv, is more fun than bars and clubs. An older guy, who is more likely to be done with that, knows how to treat a woman from his experiences and ready to settle down. He doesn't have time for petty arguments/fights.

Also, sometimes it's easier to submit to the authority of a older guy than a younger one. I should not fail to mention that some ladies are swayed by the freebies they get from working class men.

If you want that girl, you need to grow up fast, get your priorities right and treat her well. Or stop nagging :p Thank you for reading. :* :* :* Anuoluwapo

P.S. When I say older guy, I don't mean aristos, sugar daddies. I'm also not canvassing for older guys. This post talks on some of the reasons babes go for older guys. Maybe we can debate which is better soon.

Wednesday, 26 November 2014

Older guy Vs Younger guy

I ran into an old classmate who went on about how we girls are getting married and not giving them face. I told him his future wife is probably in Primary 5 or JSS2. He didn't find it funny but I had a good laugh. This leads me to the Older guy Vs Younger guy talk.

In my next post i'll talk about some of the reasons girls don't go for their age mates. Today I want to know what age difference between partners is okay by you, and a reason if any.

Thanks for reading. I hope you'll share your thoughts. Anuoluwapo

Monday, 24 November 2014

My mom and I are expecting

Hi Anu. I'm not pleased. My mum and I are expecting. I feel so ashamed. What would our friends, in-laws, people think/say? So we'll be going for ante-natal together? She's supposed to be helping with my preg and baby. I just needed to talk to someone anonymously. What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Hi hi,
It wasn't funny until you asked what I would do. Why do you want me to imagine it ehn?

Honestly, I think you're making a mountain out of a mole hill, as long as it's her hubby she is pregnant for. Even if it's not her hubby, would you kill her or yourself?

What people would say? Why do you care? Your loved ones may joke about it with you, they would never make a mockery of you. Don't carry yourself like you should be mocked if you don't want to be. Life is too short to be unhappy, make good of the situation. Bond with your mom while you prepare to have your baby and his/her twin.

I hope this helped. Hopefully, you'll read from some bloghearts.  Thanks for writing in.

Thanks to everyone that reaches out. I have attached a photo of Gizzdo that was sent in by a blogheart after getting the recipe from here.Thanks for reading y'all. Much love, Anuoluwapo.

Thursday, 20 November 2014

Your woman - The strength of your manhood

In the midst of sad tales of men not knowing the value of and appreciating their women, I see the comments of this very African brother respecting the female folk and I think to myself, he has to write for us. Continue to read what my senior colleague, Arinde Oluwaseun Gbolahan, sent in.

I've seen lots of thread on the value of woman hood, the purported weakness that comes with being a woman, gender equality, providing equal opportunities for men and women, the list is endless. One thing that keeps coming to mind is the inability of many to understand and appreciate the position of this two sexes, their powers, weaknesses, complimentary and supplementary nature.
I smile when I hear young ladies say they don't want to get married simply because they feel men are emotional tyrants on women or that men have dictatorial tendencies on what a woman becomes or makes of her life once she is married. This made me ask the following questions:

1. Are women truly subjects of emotional tyranny from men?

I feel the answer to this question will always be subjective, however there are truths that we can work with to get a meaningful conclusion on this subject. In every rational society, women are openly treated with care and some sense of sanctity, I have never seen where a man and a woman pulls up in a car and the woman comes out to open the door for the man, it doesn't just sound right, because it is known to go the other way round. But does this treatment suggest that the woman is weak? Hell No! In fact I strongly believe women are so strong but most of them have unfortunately failed to realize this beacon of strength within them. A friend of mine was ranting about the need for a lady to do everything a man can do, and I smiled and asked if she can categorically say she can do everything a women can do before usurping some roles known to men. I told her to come back for a discussion the day she can date or marry a man that doesn't mind looking at the mirror a hundred times in a day.

The truth is this, some women really suck at being a woman but are eagerly hoping to usurp roles that do belong to them. In a recent comment of mine I opined that A woman that can create a value in her self will never be regarded as an invalid or a weakling, and that in fact a man that doesn't create a value in himself will be regarded as an invalid by women, every woman should strive to create value in themselves and watch men roll over before them. However the mere fact that some women are treated as invalid might be because they consented to it as no one can condescend on you except with your permission.

On the whole I always tell ladies to stop looking for the right guy, but to start being the right woman guys want to die for. Because there in lies just the beginning of that beacon of strength in their womanhood.

2. Do women become less purposeful in life once they are married?

My opinion on this is that a woman can achieve everything and more that they set out to achieve even in marriage. What so ever thing that is worth doing at all is worth doing well, no woman should kill her legitimate dreams because of marriage. Her first dream however should be to marry the right man and to be the right woman for him.

A woman that got married as an NCE holder, went for a university degree, raised 4 strong boys, in the midst of over 17 other extended relatives, also went ahead to get her masters, and by the time her last born was in 300 level, she got a PHD like her husband, thanks to her husbands persistence and encouragement, in my opinion, that's success! even as a married woman.

In a recent comment of mine I posited that the blessedness or otherwise of personal achievements vis a vis getting married is a very subjective discussion. There are so many women that desired to get married but for one reason or the other failed in marriage but succeeded in other areas of life, it goes without saying also that an unmarried woman will naturally transmute more energy into personal achievements. Marriage comes with a lot of responsibilities which is why the society we find our self appreciates married and successful women more than successful but unmarried women and same goes for men. On the whole I believe marriage should channel a woman to her legitimate dreams and not drive her from it, she must ensure she is the the greatest investment her husband ever had.

I believe every men should see their wives as their greatest investment, because in them lies the strength of their manhood.

There are men who have been raised by queens and know to treat women as the queens that they are. Thanks for the write up Barr. Seun, bless your heart. Thanks for reading, Anuoluwapo.

Monday, 17 November 2014

Feminists or hypocrites?

So I read about a female corper who was decamped in Delta state for slapping a male colleague. I tried to find out the guy's action that prompted her to slap him to no avail. Could it be that he touched her, said something nasty, a misunderstanding or an argument gone wrong? If he touched her, it could have been reflex but do you think that justifies the slap?

There was a debate as to whether or not the punishment was fair or harsh. Some ladies were quick to say the punishment was unfair for just a slap not minding what triggered it. Meaning even if she has anger issues, she shouldn't have been disciplined in such manner. How is a slap "just?" Aren't we hypocrites? Later we'll form feminists and share sad tales about men not treating us well. If it were the guy that slapped her, i'm sure he would have been crucified no matter his excuse for doing so. I've not seen feminists tweet against her action.

Getting physical is never allowed. There are better ways of expressing displeasure/anger or having an offender disciplined. It is rather shameful seeing a graduate metamorphose into a tout. What if the guy had beat her blue black before solders waded in? Some girls can be very saucy. They even brag about being rude. I pray you never cross paths with a seemingly gentle but ungentleman. You know he would have dealt with you well before people may rise to your defence?

Nobody should be hitting the other. Maturity, experiences and education should teach us to be calm and give us the ability to ignore, walk away and not dignify every foolish (in)action with a response. Thank you for reading. Have a good good week, Anuoluwapo.

P.S. Despite talks about men not appreciating or knowing the value of women, there are men who do. One of such men has sent in a post you don't want to miss.

Friday, 14 November 2014

It takes two better halves

My dear Eniwealth wanted me to write on equality in marriage in relation to doing chores in the home. My conclusion is that a wife can successfully run a happy home, doing chores, cooking, catering to the kids and hubby. When the hubby helps out, it's sweet, thoughtful and everyone is happier. Continue to read what I sent to her.

It's important to know and understand the theory of marriage and how it works to some extent. If you can't cook, do chores and be submissive, don't go into marriage. The primary responsibilities are to cater to your family, provide the necessary satisfactions, birth kids and smile while at it. You may only work to augment what the hubby brings home, only if it doesn't adversely affect the family. And oh, loads of patience. Hubby is lord, please him. Isn't that the African mentally we're taught? It did work for our mothers.

It, however, doesn't always work this way now. The 21st century babe is getting educated, paid and paying her bills. She doesn't depend on a man to be happy or fulfilled. She has goals she's not ready to give up. She compartmentalises her life - Wife, mother, entrepreneur. She travels the world for business and pleasure. She doesn't tie wrapper simply because she is a Mrs or Mom.

It's hard to have a woman who works 8am-8pm to provide 3meals/day for the family and do the chores. A traditional man would rather she takes a teaching/ministry job and close by 4pm or have no ambition because he can not see himself bathing his kids or helping around his house. If the wife takes the have loads of patience and perseverance advice, there may be a few nags here and there but she'll gba kamu and be happy.

A man who loves his wife and understands the importance of friendship in marriage would help his wife. It makes marriage a lot easier. Between the wife chopping onions and hubby adding curry and thyme, there is bound to be lots of laughter and playfulness. The gap between older generation couples is filled up. Mommy isn't scared of daddy and doesn't have to yes sir him. They share chores or do almost everything together, imagine how intimate they would be. They radiate love, happiness and can't help PDAing. She wouldn't even be too 
tired to give him some *wink* How will hubby give you breakfast in bed and you won't have a great day. A domestic help can never fill the gap. Their offspring grows up to be happy, loving and kind, understanding that the opposite sex isn't an object and shouldn't be used.

The minute a wife thinks she is equal to her man is the minute problems start. A man's ego can't take it. I'm not saying the man is better. After all, the home is the wife's to run. She is the neck that guides the head. She only needs to submit, grease his ego and he'll leave her to make reasonable decisions. When he feels superior to the wife and leaves the chores to her, she may persevere and choose to be happy. But when he helps out in the house, everybody is happier.

*gba kamu = take it in it's stride
 yes sir = be formal
 PDA = public display of affection

You should read what Eniwealth went on to say  here And oh, she's having a giveaway on her blog. *winks* Thank you for reading, Anuoluwapo.

Tuesday, 11 November 2014

Lessons from Africa Magic

  • You can go from being a paraga seller to being the wife of a young responsible rich man #Adebisiparaga
  • If you don't know a jazzman, your friend does.
  • Suffer with no man. He'll misbehave when he hammers.
  • Suffer with your man. He'll treat you right when he hammers *sigh*
  • Your sugar daddy would be related to the man you fall in love with
  • Your mother in-law is of the devil #patienceozokwor
  • Gatemen are eternally foolish.
  • Your friends want to snatch your man.
  • Yoruba ladies must have big belle and wear tight clothes.
  • Don't travel to your village. Everyone is a witch there.
  • Be nice to people and give alms.
  • Don't give alms, the money may be used for rituals.
  • Trust no one!!!
  • You can fall in love with and marry the man that killed your father.
  • Don't take marriage advice from friends, they are jealous and want your marriage to crash.
  • Don't flaunt your spouse/kids/good life.
  • Pray and fast on all your wedding gifts.
  • Don't attend parties that have colour codes, you'll die #Jenifa
  • It is the poor person you help that would help save your life.
  • If you're too career oriented, your maid would snatch your hubby.
  • Don't allow anyone live with you and your spouse.
  • Hide your pregnancy as much as you can.
  • An abandoned/denied child succeeds in life.
  • Your jazz would backfire and you'll run mad.
  • If it sounds too good to be real, it probably is #Jenifa
  • You will become rich if you've been oppressed by the rich.
  • In laws take everything and leave the widow and her children to suffer.
  • All that glitters is not gold.
  • The society is full of pretenders #Alakada
  • Don't introduce your friends to your dad. They may start dating.
The movies may seem stupid, silly or tend to give sleepless nights/paranoia but many do pass good life lessons. Hope you enjoyed this fun post. Feel free to add yours or just have a good laugh. Thanks for reading, Anuoluwapo.

Friday, 7 November 2014

My love language

Each person has a love language we must learn to "speak" if we want that person to feel loved, whether or not we agree with them. Here are the main 6 love languages:
  1. Acts of service: This seems to be the most important love language to me. Stop telling me you love me, act the part already. Actions speak louder than words, yeah? The blind can "see" it and the deaf can "hear" it. It's being kind, attentive and helpful.
  2. Gifts: Who doesn't love gifts? They can say "I love you" loud and clear. Good part is you don't have to get a loan or clear your account. A pair of earrings/socks, scarf,..., with a note that reads "I saw this dress and imagined how beautiful you'll make it look." It could be a card or a letter from your heart.
  3. Quality time: Spending time with and killing bae with attention. You need to know how much attention your partner loves. Some want it all day, all year. They want frequent calls in a day, to be on your dp like it's their phone, throw tantrums or sulk if they don't get the attention for a few hours. While some want it but would also appreciate their "me time."
  4. Words of affirmation could be compliments or spoken appreciation. If this is your partner's love language, watch life sprout in your relationship as you speak it.
  5. Physical touch includes touching the shoulders, holding hands, kissing, massages, sex... This may be the language that makes your partner feel wanted, special and loved.
  6. Food: The way to a man's heart is through the  stomach. Treat your woman to breakfast in bed or have her watch her favourite show while you make dinner. She'll thank God for making you hers if it's her love language.
Thank you for reading. Much love, Anuoluwapo

Monday, 3 November 2014

A little wine?

Three sundays ago, I couldn't help but notice that the passage the preacher read mentioned drunkards but he implied having a sip is a sin. Does having a little drink make one a drunkard? The first miracle performed was to turn water to very good wine. I guess you know the best of wines isn't fruit wine. "The son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, 'Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and "sinners".'  Luke 7:34 Jesus was accused of drinking meaning he drank, no matter how little. The only people prohibited from drinking in the Bible are nazarites who also don't cut their hair.

A little piƱa colanda, chapman or wine won't kill. Don't the medical people recommend a little red wine often? If you want to be judgemental, you should always make your chapman, cake and food at home or be sure that alcohol wasn't used. There are many other verses that okay moderate alcohol. I'm not a drunk. I also don't think drinking is a sin. In my opinion, it's getting tipsy/drunk, losing control of one's self, and the addiction to it that's sin. Just like the addiction to one's kids or spouse, idolatry, is sin.

I can imagine some people shaking their heads. I'm sorry but we can't always have the same conclusions. Please do comment, i'll love to know what you think. Don't put anyone down while at it. Thanks for reading. Xo, Anuoluwapo 

Saturday, 1 November 2014

The third party

This post was birth from the previous one. I'm of the belief that one should keep one's relationship issues to one's self. You don't throw "Dayo cheated on me" or even "Tina nags" around, not even to your sister or bestie. I'm not saying cheating or snapping is cool. I'm just trying to paint the picture that no matter what, keep it to yourself as much as possible, reasonably of course. These are my reasons:

  • Your friend would look at and treat your partner in the light you have painted him/her. No matter how mature your friend is, she will never really forget.
  • When you've told someone, it's no more a secret/private. If you don't want your matter on people's lips, keep it to yourself.
  • After tempers have calmed, you may forgive your partner and continue the relationship where you stopped. You need to understand that when you hurt, your loved ones hurt. When you forgive your man and get back together, it's hard for them to approve because they are still hurting, want to protect you and think you deserve better. It's easy for you to forgive because you're the one in love and you understand your partner better. It really isn't their fault. Maybe you should stop involving.
  • Don't be surprised when your friend uses what you tell her against you in future. It could be as an insult, blackmail or husband snatching something #AfricanMagicSomethings.
  • A relationship is between two mature individuals. Talking about your relationship to a third party is being unfair to your partner. Speak to your partner, don't speak against him. Even if you're breaking up, nobody needs to know what went down between you two.
Shoutout to blogheart Bibi Sparkles and bloghearts who message me, thanks for the kind words, bless your hearts. Thanks to the lovely bloghearts who do not fail to tell me how much they love the blog when I run into them. I faced a panel of 3 in an interview recently. One of them wouldn't stop saying how much he loves the blog and I could see the others warming up to me. My mom heard about this blog from her friend who thinks it is amazing. I'm really grateful to you for reading and supporting me. Please don't stop. All my love, Anuoluwapo.

P.S. Note the how I used the word reasonably. Don't keep abuse, physical or psychological, to yourself, run!

Thursday, 30 October 2014

My boo isn't your play thing

I live in a part of the country where we're still cultured and conservative to an extent. A friend was fuming the other day because her friend calls her hubby, who is way older than both of them, by his first name.

Call me bush but I very much agree with her. This is a man whose youngest sibling can birth the wife. It's this same man you choose to call Dayo. Just like that? You don't have to call him Uncle, which may sound funny. I'm sure there's always a substitute. Someone calls her friends' men "sweetheart/oko ore mi." I don't have energy for wahala or anyone misinterpreting so I use "Mr" in an unawkward way.

Even if you're older than your friend's hubby or serious bobo, you show love for their relationship by respecting the guy. You respected her dad? He is almost in charge of her now. Don't you see your friend honouring her man? This is one of the reasons you shouldn't bad mouth or treat your man poorly. Stop sharing his flaws with your bestie. Why isn't your man your bestie though?

You can't be friends with hubby and i. You can not be calling or texting him. Why is he on your bbm again? Need to reach him? You should be going through me. I'm not saying he shouldn't have female friends. I'm saying the female friend isn't you. I honestly don't see the need to call to say hello or both of you chatting on social networks? Are you planning a surprise for me? Else, I should be the middle man. It's not that I don't trust you but if you don't respect my relationship and man, you aren't my friend afterall.

The girls' that put their bobos down to be buying sharwama and taking their friends out ehn. All those "Dayo, won't you take me out?" Imagine your mom's friend saying that to your dad. Are we not on our way there? Don't bring stories that touch about how they talk to your boo anyhow, table his matter, turned him into their maga or how they are loving up now. You exposed him and his flaws to them.

Again I say it's not trust issues. It's preventing the principle of see finish, familiarity breeds contempt. Don't wait till you're married before you start treating him/her, like a special part of you. Don't forget how majority see you treat him/talk about her is how they treat him. Thanks for reading my opinion again blogheart. Got a differing one? Let's hear it. Love love, Anuoluwapo.

Saturday, 25 October 2014

Anuchef: Ofada (ayamase) sauce

I hope you've missed Anuchef. I'm here with ofada sauce (ayamase) as promised. I don't know if it's the same or similar to the designer stew served at events. I do know how to make it and I'll show you a method now.

8 pieces unripe bell peppers (green tatashe)
5 pieces unripe bonnet peppers (ata rodo)
Shaki (tripe)
Locust beans (iru)
Palm oil
2 bulbs onions
Crayfish (blended)

  • Boil your ponmo and shaki. Parboil the ponmo to remove it's smell.
  • Deseed the tatashe.
  • Blend the tatashe, ata rodo and an onion bulb using as little water as possible.
  • Boil or sieve the pepper to remove water
  • Add a quarter of an onion bulb to the palm oil. Leave the pot covered while you bleach for about 10 minutes. The onion would be burnt when you're done but it would have flavoured the oil. It should be light yellow if you didn't add the onion and black if you did. The aroma should have started making your neighbours restless by now.
  • Leave the oil to cool before you open the pot and remove the burnt onions.
  • Put the oil back on fire. Add the onions and locust beans when it's hot and allow to cook.
  • Add the ponmo and shaki. Allow to fry until lightly brown.
  • Add the pepper, crayfish and season. Stir and allow to cook.
  • Add your water/stock.
  • Serve with ofada rice or even with your normal rice, plantain, yam, potato,...
It looked and tasted real good. Ofada sauce shouldn't make you "Toni, everywhere you go", turning up at every event. Make it at home and add 15 yards to your wife 

Congratulations to blogheart Olorilaw2 on the arrival of her baby. God bless baby, mommy, daddy and us all. I see you reading bloghearts, thank you. Keep reading. Xo, Anuoluwapo.

P.S. I used the ingredients I had at home. You can add boiled eggs, beef, goat meat, stock fish, etc, to make yours sexier. You can cut them into smaller pieces too.

Thursday, 23 October 2014

I want to do sina today

When I heard someone talk about this before, I had a good laugh. I was rolling with laughter when I saw Falzthebahdguy's video about it on Instagram.

We want the best of both worlds. Lover of God and lover of fashion and the things of the world. It doesn't work that way. You're either here or there. You can't be lukewarm, stop trying to mess with our heads. It was a fad to have have religious quotes up on Sundays and "It's 11pm je ka sneak out" on Friday nights. How can you put up a dp that says Jesus is the only way and your pm says "I want to do sina today?" How are you an usher in choir and we buy tickets to club parties from you? Think about it, it's not even logical. It makes no sense. Why are you so confused about your identity? You need help from your bipolar disorder. #Jesusdontlikethat

How did I become better? I know the struggle. We have to set bounds and put a demarcation between what we can do and what we can't. If you want to open body, open it well. If you want to put God first, please do. I agree that crop tops are very cute on flat tummies but that's not enough reason to wear them. You can look really good without necessarily wearing "Supageti strap with crazy jean, no undies." 

I have attached Folarin Falz Falana's hilarious video. Don't worry about your data, it's just 15seconds.

Thanks for reading bloghearts. If it's your first time here, welcome. I hope you look through the posts and love them enough to stay. Hopefully, i'll bring you ofada sauce (ayamase)'s recipe on Friday. You'll need to try it out. All my love, Anuoluwapo.

P.S. You can watch Falz' funny videos and maybe participate in the #Marrymechallenge on his social media accounts (@falzthebahdguy) on Instagram and Twitter.

I'm tarabauer_ on IG and tara_bauer on Twitter.

Birthday wishes to blogheart, Eniwealth. Have a year as amazing as you are and a long, happy lifetime. Xo

Monday, 20 October 2014

How to look fab without breaking the bank

Hi ya Ladies! Ever wondered how you can look absolutely fabulous and not be in debt? Check out these tips:

1) Online Shopping.
Ever heard of Asos? I swear I’m not being paid to market on their behalf but ever since I discovered this website, my life hasn’t been the same. They are always having these amazing sales! And you get discount off too. You get to shop from the comfort of your home. And once you don’t receive your stuff, they refund you. Need I say more?
2) Tailor made clothes.
Seen that must have dress on a celebrity on Bella Naija? No need to save up for years before being able to afford it! Just buy lovely fabrics and get a tailor to make the exact same for you. I know how crazy tailors can be with messing up your clothes and not keeping to schedule. But once you get one ghen ghen tailor, stick to him/her!
3) Recycling clothes.
Have you noticed how our generation never wears anything new? Save some amazing pieces from your wardrobe and watch them becoming in again in some couple of years. Do I hear anyone say ‘Antique’!
4) Mix and match.
I’m particularly a fan of mixing expensive pieces with some cheap ones. Raid Balogun market ladies! There are lovely inexpensive item you can mix with those your designer pieces to achieve that fab look. ;)
5) Accessories.
These can make your outfit. Invest in belts, earrings, rings and bracelets. They can make your outfit go from simple to outstanding in seconds.
6) Blazers.
You can never have too many of these. They give you that classy look. It can paired up with dresses,maxi/mini skirts,pants,shorts. Change from flats to pumps to achieve that formal to party look.
7) LBD.
This can be your Little Black Dress or Long Black Dress. Every lady needs this. It can be worn to work, parties, weddings and other formal occasions. Its effortlessly classy and on the plus side,it goes with anything and everything!
8) White Blouses.
You need one or two of this. Alternatively, you can have cream blouses. They are ultra feminine and pair it with a high waisted skirt or pants for that sultry school ma'am look. ;)
Keep looking fab ladies! Mwah!
I loved this post the first time I read it here last year. I still do! Her tips are apt for the regular girl who wants to look good on a budget. I once shopped at the online store, never got the items or a refund. I'm always scared of it not fitting or something + the items I love on it are expensive. Physical stores, it is, for me. I'm a huge fan of mix and match. It looks good, fits, not random and affordable? I don't care about the label. A big amen to tailor made clothes. Thank you Maryam for allowing me share your timeless piece here.
Thanks for reading bloghearts. Do share your tips and check out my amatuer style on Instagram, @tarabauer_ I'll love to see and maybe steal from yours too. I got nothing but love for you. Anuoluwapo

Saturday, 18 October 2014

My NYSC experience

Surprisingly, I was excited to go to Kwara camp. I do love my comfort zone. Maybe because it was going to be my first year away from school. All I could think was "you only serve once." I was greeted by no mobile network service and a stressful registration process. I was able to pick the best mattress and a spot of my choice in the cubicle (of 12 I think). There are many cubicles in a room. Too many girls in one place, scary! The kits we were given were substandard as you can guess. Many of us brought our outfits from home. The outfit I was given would conveniently fit Yokosuna. The shoes? *sigh* The white tennis were stolen and I couldn't bother to care. I had to wear the heavy boots for our swearing-in ceremony. I wear a size 4 and got 9/11. I tried someone's size 4 and it felt like a size 7.  Lifting my legs took a lot of energy. I managed to bath in the manageable bathrooms early before it got terrible. I couldn't get myself to bath outside. I also made sure I had no need to poop. People went to poop at the bushes around the parade ground which were far from the hostels. Imagine wanting to go at night.

As expected, things were expensive. Even the incompetent tailors charged high fees to adjust the outfits. There was a cobbler who claimed he could make the shoes smaller. We didn't need a million passport pictures like was speculated. I got bread from the kitchen. I can't remember eating anything else from there. There was good food in Maami. I went to the Man o war village. Of course, I didn't like it or attempt climbing, or pretend to climb, anything with an aching body. My platoon members seemed really funny and friendly though. They really had fun and took pictures like there was no tomorrow. I did only the compulsory jumping up and down. We were made to sing some rather funny songs too.

I woke up every morning with my shoulders in knots and my body sore only for us to be kept under the scorching sun for many hours severals times for parade. The Governor didn't care enough to honor the ones serving their nation during the swearing in ceremony. His representative also kept us under the sun for so long. The soilders turned out nice, I guess, but I was too scared of the repercussions of getting in their way. Corpers are not respected or treated like the graduates/professionals that they are. Not only are you serving the nation, you're humiliated and treated unfairly in and outside camp. Disrespect flows around. You would think one would be treated like an egg. 

Not like we respect ourselves anyway. What reasonable person plays music till 2am? Takes a bath by 3am and decides it's time to gist? Wakes at 4am and decides it is time to start speaking in tongues, very loudly? I felt like slapping so many people but I just siddon dey look. Not forgetting the stealing, fighting and gossip. My jewellery was stolen and I knew it was time to leave camp. They had one dry welcome party for us *yawns* I have no maami market memories because I never went for those nightly hang outs or parties or whatever they did there.

Corp lawyers were released to go attend to their law school final clearance and call to bar activities. I left camp on Sunday morning, having spent 5 nights on camp. Resumed back in December to be posted to an office and do some more registration. I was paid my November allawee then. I was paid 1,500naira bicycle allowance on camp. My CDS members formed serious lawyers, always arguing. I gave a lecture on Domestic Violence. We had two projects. Batch A's was to a rehabilitation home and Batch B's to an orphanage. Those were favorite NYSC moments. I was actively involved in planning Batch B's send forth dinner. I also attended a picnic. Sadly, my batch wasn't allowed to have a project and dinner. It wasn't until August that I started making new friends in my CDS. Maybe they didn't like me? Meetings were 9-12pm Wednesday mornings. Zonal meetings on the last Thursday of the month. Clearance on a monthly basis. Allawee was usually paid in the second or third week of the following month. There was a month I wasn't paid with the others because they were trying to fish out ghost corpers. It was paid with the following month's allawee.

That's about all I can remember now. P.O.P was on 16th October, 2014. There was no parade actually.  We went to collect our certificates. Trust them to keep us waiting for long. The only good thing I see in the service scheme, at the moment, is that the allawee sustains some people. Some wouldn't mind serving forever. It's better than staying at home with no jobs. The allawee however doesn't cover accommodation for many. There's also feeding, transport, flexing and other needs to be met.

Many congratulations to 13C ex-corpers. The market will favour us, Amen! Thanks for reading bloghearts. Bless your hearts. Xo, Anuoluwapo 

*NYSC = National Youth Service Corps
 Siddon look = calm and quiet
 CDS = Community Development Service
 Allawee = Allowance
 P.O.P = Passing out parade
Flexing = Relaxing

Monday, 13 October 2014

Things you should no longer be doing after 25

I'm of the opinion that some youthful exuberances should be done with after graduation. You don't have to start earning the big bucks or be a Dangote before you act the part of a professional. You should by all means act the part of an adult/graduate and leave some things for the ones behind. These are some of the things I think should be left behind:
  • Incessant clubbing. Every weekend turn up, kilode? Why are you dragging the dance hall with 16 and 18 year olds? Your tenure has expired. You should not expect to hang out with friends all the time too. After school, everybody gets busy with work, job hunting, life issues. Get yourself busy.
  • Getting into brawls. This can easily be forgiven while younger. At the mention of omode l'oun shey, everybody understands. But my God, you're a graduate now, looking for that good job or working it already? You have employers/clients/associates judging you by your actions and not intentions.
  • Inappropriate dressing. You can't keep opening body up and down like you used to. It's not nice when you can't be told apart from a 16year old because you're both in the same crop top, you're 23 for crying out loud. Allow the transition and look good while at it. Dear boys, do leave your sagging and durags at home.
  • The loud music should go. Do you see your mentors/folks blasting music in the car or at home. You're getting to that stage too.
  • Do keep your thirst off social media please. Have some water or take care of it privately. Your profile should be quite different from that of a 15year old and should appeal to a different audience. Stop ranting/cursing. Live your private life private. Sometimes your random thoughts should belong to your thoughts. You can stop putting up insultive updates too. Have an issue with someone? Talk to that someone, not your contacts/followers. Also your bbm name should reflect your maturity.
  • Moderation is classy. Think, eat, dream moderation. Dressing, makeup, jewellery, speech, party, everything.
  • Set life goals and work towards it. Wake up, lectures, eat, gist, internet, sleep,..., shouldn't be your thing anymore.
  • You need to make healthy choices and protect yourselves. You're an authority over. yourself now.
  • If you had a string of girl/boyfriends. You may want to stop this. You're too grown to date for dating sake.
  • You shouldn't have an abortion while in school. Now you're out and having one? I'm trying hard to believe there's nothing wrong with you.
Thank you for reading my bloghearts. Do add to the list or say hello. It's not so easy thinking up and writing posts. So, I'm sorry some posts don't come when you expect them. When there's no new post or you have some free time on your hands, do go back to posts you've not read. You know you can send in topics or posts to be published?

Birthday shout out to blogheart Esquire. Remember he wrote From a Nigerian man - What a man wants from his woman for us? Thanks for the support and love. We wish you an amazing year and a long lifetime of happiness. Amen. Have an amazing week y'all. Love, Anuoluwapo.

kilode = why
 omode l'oun shey = he is being a child
How and how not to

Friday, 10 October 2014

The bile in your tummy

Some people need help, mental help. If seeing someone doing well gives you sleepless nights or fills your tummy with bile, you need urgent help. Some people would rather be the local champion, doling out a few pennies to people around. If that's your definition of life, you're messed you. There is so much room at the top, the more the merrier. If you have fun/vacation alone, you're not rich. There is nothing like telling friends/siblings "Babes, let's hit Maldives for Christmas" and you can all afford to go. Wealth is not transmitted sexually or on the basis of friendship. But you can support/encourage your friend, carry him alone, pray for her. You should not only be concerned about your welfare and that of your immediate family.

A yoruba adage "Bi'su Eni ba ta, eyan maa f'owo bo je ni" translates stop showing off on instagram. Lol. Stop flaunting and feeling like you've arrived. You're rich and we thank God but please do away with your "poverty" mentality. Keep a level head and most of your successes to yourself. Live in moderation. You can afford a private jet don't mean you should get one. The heart of man is terribly wicked. They cool with you when you're just getting by. They love encouraging you about how things would get better.  Once your hammer, they smile at you, ask for help from you, get offended if you can't help/help fully. They don't understand that you have a lot on your shoulders at the moment. They forget how you've helped before. Some would be too arrogant to ask for help. Some are richer than you are but don't want you to get to their level. Someone would testify in church and you would hear another hiss "Is she the first person?" Would you die if you keep your private life/earnings private. #Codeyourself.

If you're not doing so well. Keep trying and praying. Ask for help reasonably, where need be. Asking for money to buy a car or sound system is far from reasonable. Be happy for people and wish them well. Another's downfall shouldn't put a smile on your face.

This post was birth from Africa Magic + the LIB saga. Linda's blog is back up but it's much more difficult for people to bounce back up after being hacked down by frenemies. Have you noticed that strangers either don't have an opinion or are supportive. It's the supposed loved ones that lose their peace. My bloghearts, thank you for reading. Xo, Anuoluwapo

Wednesday, 8 October 2014

Matrimonial bedroom

I saw this topic being debated on Twitter and I thought I'll talk about it today. Whether a couple should share a room or not. If it were up to me, I'll definitely share a room. I think it has more pros for me. It's harder to keep a grudge, you get to gist, have sleep overs and be friends, you get comfortable with each other, unlimited jeru trips,...

Every marriage is personalized, the experience is different for everyone. What works for the Smiths may blow up in the Baloguns' faces. No two marriages are the same. That being said, I think each to whatever rocks her boat. You don't have to run your home in a certain way because everyone is doing it that way. If you realize you love your spouse so much but you wouldn't stop bickering when you share a room or are together for long, maybe you should consider separate rooms. Some people lose sleep due to their partners' sleeping habits or their mismatched sleep patterns. I used to think snoring was no big deal until I went to law school. Afterall our grand/great grand parents (even those in monogamous relationships had separate bedrooms) and they didn't die. Sleeping in the same room doesn't make it harder for some couples to keep a grudge. It fuels the grudge.

I really don't think there is a right or wrong decision when it comes to issues like this. So stop judging people's decisions. Maybe you should keep your sleeping arrangements to yourselves too. Thank you for reading bloghearts, Anuoluwapo.