Monday 14 November 2016

Emotional blackmailers

It's been a year. I hope everyone is doing great. I'm very well too, thank you. I had been meaning to come back for a while but I've been occupied with some other things, lazy and had some difficulty signing into my account. Here I am now. I will not post everyday but I'll try to do so often. I posted this on Facebook a few days back, I just edited it and thought we could start with that.

"I've been through so much, family and friends deserted me. What pained me the most is my cousin that didn't help me with money to complete my house rent." 

I don't understand why people feel so entitled. "My uncle is stingy, my sister is selfish. She traveled and did not bring anything for me"  Did you pay for her ticket? Did you put money in her pocket? Do you know that she couldn't buy enough goods for her store due to lack of funds. No, you just talk without thinking. You have no idea what your uncle is going through, he desperately trying to raise money to repay the loan he took before the bank takes over his house. Your childhood friend who hasn't sent anything to you had his containers seized. How will you know when you think only about yourself? Bad friend. You have no idea how your brother is praying, fasting and hustling just so he can set up or expand his business. No, you're just inconsiderate. Your family friend that has been frequenting the U. K, India and Dubai has been trying to get help for her sick child. Yes, she posts pictures on social media because she is trying to create memories. Your nephew doesn't have any responsibilities because he isn't married so he should spend all his money on you, abi? Is it when he marries that he should start saving? He can as well not get a job until he gets married. Even if he has decided not to marry, he has something called a future ahead of him. But excuse me sir, what happened to your own hands that you can't work? Haha, you're old? If the young man doesn't start saving now, he'll end up like you - old and broke. 

Everybody has their issues. Some people carry their crosses and smile while at it. If you don't want to smile, fine, just carry your cross and don't nag others to death. Prayerfully make a plan and start working towards your goals. Help rarely comes to idle hands.

Please stop blackmailing people emotionally, they are not God. I'm not in any way excusing stinginess but if you feel no entitlement and choose to be considerate, whether or not you know what's up with them, you're unlikely to get hurt. 
No, I'm not angry. I listened to a testimony where the lady bashed her relatives and friends for not doing enough for her. We don't know their stories, we want to be considerate and besides, we have no interest in taking sides, right? 
Thanks to everyone who has been on my neck to come back.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think the African culture of being our brothers keeper is part of th cause for this. I can rememeber growing up and my older cousins will be hating on a particular uncle of mine. They will say he is stingy and not caring. It was when i got University that it dawned on me that this guy has many other obligation. He taking care of other less priviledged kids that we dont even know.

I have had some close relative tell me that "God will judge" just because i was not picking their calls as theya were in time of need.

What i do to this people is help in my capacity. If i cant help i cant.

And funny enough most of these emotional blackmailers are close family and sometimes friends.