Saturday, 30 August 2014

Audio lover

‎I've never thought of myself as a clingy lover. I'm more of a magical lover. You love me, I love you, you misbehave and I can't recognise you no more. It's like magic. No time to be sleeping on a bicycle abeg. So when I say a long distance relationship is not my thing, it's not because I want loads of PDA and attention. It because it makes no sense whatsoever to me. What do you do with a ghost lover? Calls, smses, Skype? No thank you.

You can date a guy for 10years and not fully know him talkless of an audio lover, you just dey hear am, you no dey see am. There are some little details you would never pick up. You don't see his reactions, how he treats people especially those under him. When he comes around, you're both on your best behavior, honeymoon phase something.

Long distance gets people paranoid. "What could she be doing now?" "Why isn't he picking my calls?" "Who is the lady that picked his phone" "I can hear a guy's voice at the background, she is cheating on me." Paranoia doesn't work well with anybody, with some being more serious than the other. Why get yourself into that situation?

How would a long distance bobo be your best friend? Can you really talk about everything over the phone? That's how your girlfriend will fall in love with another guy that is there to comfort her. Relationships are hard work. Long distance na die. You need emotional stability, communication, commitment, trust and maturity to make one work.

Then there is the "facebook love" *in Jaywon's voice. Heard the song before? Internet love is very shady. I'm sure you're aware of the schemes of yahoo boys and girls? In this crazy and perverse world, you think the best place to find a spouse is on the internet? The "ones" we know their ancestors sef dey do person strong thing. When I worked briefly in Lagos, I had a colleague that had a physical boyfriend and several audio ones. She had several profiles on dating sites and was looking for the fastest way to the altar with preference to guys outside the country. Very pretty babe with a nasty attitude but of course she portrayed herself as sweet and amazing. I know we can be like that but the internet makes it so easy to camouflage.

The only reason I can think of, at the moment, that would make me okay a long distance relationship is where the parties having been together for a while, understand each other and are sure of what they want. Be sure that the distance will test your feelings and it would be a little harder to show you care. Not that the guy came "home" for Christmas you meet, love up, he returns to his base and you start getting yourselves worked up for nothing.

A funny one is babes that quickly have an introduction done or tie the knots when the boyfriend is traveling outside the country. Those are the learners. Lol. It is not a bad thing but may not end up as planned. He could meet someone or marry one oyinbo or akata, so could she. You just tie yourself up like that and most times, it's very hard to get untangled when you've spent so long waiting. Even married folks misbehave so shine your eyes. I'm not saying break up because he is traveling. I'm saying wait till he is back because you do the wedding proper. Jonzing is a sin.

Maybe I'm just a pessimist. No, realist is a better word. I do have a friend who met her hubby on the internet. The girl get mind gan and the guy was persistent. They dated for a while. Today, she is a wife and mother. So, it works for some people. Be sure to know what you're getting yourself into and be ready to work for it.

Thank you for reading bloghearts. Feel free to add your additions, subtractions or just say hello in the comment section. Please suggest topics you want me to write on. You can also send posts, I'll be glad to put them up. Thank you Humphrey for this topic, I hope you like what I made of it. Enjoy the plenty photos. Love y'all,  Anuoluwapo.







Awwwwww

Yimu



Covers face. Lmao







*PDA = Public display of affection
 Na die = Very difficult
 Sef dey do person strong thing = can be wicked

15 comments:

Anuoluwapo said...

Happy Ago-Iwoye day!!!

umukoro humphrey said...

Thanks dear for the wonderful job on the Audio Lover...Do you know that during our grandparent's era, distant relationship was never encouraged unlike now that the internet technology encourages a dog to have followers on Twitter... Am honoured being here. Thanks Anuoluwapo.

Anuoluwapo said...

Lmao. Thank you dear

Ire said...

So you're an omo alaree? Happy ago iwoye day babe

Ire said...

You crack me up and I love how you write. Maturity + freshness

Anuoluwapo said...

Thank you Ire

Anuoluwapo said...

Omo Alare come rain, come sunshine :D Thank you

Anonymous said...

Ghost lover, audio lover? Lmao

Esquire said...

Anuoluwapo's blogspot ooooh. u will not kill us with ur humourous articles. lol. such an interseting piece. I also agree that long distant relationships is more of a gamble which really has a very slim chance of it working out favourably based on points noted above.

Thank you lots ma

Anuoluwapo said...

Thank you

Anonymous said...

Long distance relationships has a lot of drama, not many people have good stories to tell. 'audio' lover? Now that's a new one Anu. Lolllll

Anuoluwapo said...

Lol, thank you

Anuoluwapo said...

Thank you

Anonymous said...

Oh my!,u really are a good writer,you have a get-in-your-face kind of writing,its like talking with a girlfriend.please keep this up,its a breathe of fresh air!

Anuoluwapo said...

I'm grateful *cyber hugs*