Friday, 1 August 2014

Forming your way into a relationship?

Hello humans...and those of us who do backflip with 'Agbada'. It such an honour being able to share some of my mischief here with you lot! I'm glad for the opportunity! Meanwhile at the time I am writing this post, I don't have a title for it yet. I'm hoping that by the time I'm done I will have a title or maybe when I send Tara will have a title after reading through. Honestly most times I write, it is usually impulsive. Like, iPod, headphones, laptop, type! Oh...I should mention that this is long over due so help me beg Tara I'm sorry ooo. Let's go!

I need to ask this question my lovely ladies. Why do girls/ladies 'form'? I need to understand this phenomenom. It beats me daily and yet these ladies are the one who will be fighting each other. Okay...okay...I know I'm probably close to ranting aimlessly but let me be a bit specific.

You are a lady, you like this guy obviously! Everyone knows this guy likes you but when the guy comes clean to ask you out...Forming! Usual replies? "I'm not sure?" "This is a huge step in our relationship" "I will think about it". That last one is probably the most annoying of the lot. What is there to think about, huh? I know some of you are already thinking in your mind, we need to 'form' so that we know that this guy is being serious and you don't want to commit yourself without having a clean view of what's ahead of you. Wait a minute, I thought life itself is/was a risk. Like actually waking up and stepping out each day is a risk. If you live in Nigeria, in the midst of all the Boko Haram saga you'll understand. Folks wake up everyday and end up dead. Risk. So actually allowing yourself to like a guy is not so much of a big deal when compared!

Pardon me, I am very much a risk taker! An adventurer if you want. I like to live in the moment and that maybe influences some of my thought process. So when you start...errr...prolonging the commencement of that moment because you aren't 'sure' then I'll probably get bored. I mean, ask yourself. If you knew what would happen and when it'll happen how will life be for you? BORING!!! I know somebody really smart is saying "She has to put some suspense in it so that it won't seem like the girl is cheap or easy" BULLSH*T!!! I need to know the person who came up with that argument originally! If you like somebody and that person obviously likes you back...I am pretty sure nobody will think you are...Easy. Whatever that means, to be 'easy' *adjusts halo* Honestly think about it. Would you rather be with somebody you barely know...say just 2months than with somebody you've known a while back who is 'Just a friend'. "He's just a friend" that's how Sister Titi died single! #Zoningthings, please see Don't sister zone me

I think we need to step beyond the limits of our inhibitions. It is alright to be unsure. We are only human. I think if we allow ourselves to take that step into relatively uncharted course. We may truly find that person. Oh look, there's also this myth about 'That Special One'. Allow me to add that I don't believe the just ONE person created for one other person in this world! Nope! That will be a post for another day.

While I may have ruffled some feathers and perhaps most of you are seething with anger and plotting my downfall right now. Remember I said I'm here to create mischief by asking the RIGHT questions. Oh look, maybe you may be able to convince me why ladies form...I doubt it though but never say never. You can leave your reasons in order of importance, in the comment section below!

Peace. Love. And Chicken grease (don't ask and I won't tell).


Lol Okizle, you and your humor sef. A girl knows whether she likes a guy enough to date/want to know him more on their first meeting. So I used to think "Why all the attitude? If you like him, go for it." While you're forming, someone else is giving him some sugar. Girls are not smiling, you know? And I don't believe in the "if it's yours, it'll come back" crap. If you don't treat "it" well, someone else will gladly do. Dulling is a sin please. 

I do not blame girls that "form" abeg. I've however come to realize that men like to chase, to different degrees though. Allow him chase you but don't get him exhausted from all the "running." It's just like people that work hard for their money and those that have easy money. You know how they treat/spend the money? That's how most men treat the ladies they worked hard for and the ones they get easily. I still don't think anyone should deliberately form. I think you should take your time. Don't always fit into his schedule, he should fit into yours. Let him earn your availability and compromise. Else, you'll date every guy you like and that would make you cheap. If it takes you 2 weeks, 3months or 6months to decide whether or not to date him, please take your time but do so sensibly. Don't be pressured. Take risks but don't blindly go into a relationship. Not every relationship will lead to marriage but that's the goal so you should start the screening process from day 1. At the end, it's going to be just you and your (un)happiness. You should see this if you haven't.

Okizle is a medical student, creative director, foodie, focused and playful brother, amongst many other things. He blogs here and would write for us again, right dear? Thank you so much.
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Thank you for reading bloghearts, you make my day, everyday. Have a beautiful August. Xoxo, Anuoluwapo.
Sabi person. Slow down, don't stop moving
Jonzer! "Hi" won't hurt. Let him take the bait *wink* He doesn't? Whatever!


dee said...

it just had to be okizle, with the 'back flip agbada' thing and 'halo adjustment'.
nice piece darl, Tara has already given u my own reason for forming, so i hope u get d point. that 'chase' thing is soooo true...

Anuoluwapo said...

Abi now, it had to be Okizle. Thanks Dee

Eniwealth said...

I'm very much with Okizle on this one, I don't support forming too. I would even give him signals to lead him on.

Esquire said...

hmmmm. interesting. Well, i hear guys enjoy the chase. Na wa. i guess i m different sha. thats why i totally agree with the writer. I dont like forming things oh. I dont have the energy and time for all that. sometimes i just assume the babe doesnt like me enough so i just move on jeje. My wife didnt form for me even for a half a second oh and i never considered her cheap. She is still my angel for life. Three Gboza for my madam abeg. Gboza! Gboza!! Gboza!!!

Anonymous said...

'Backflip with agbada' tho. Lol. Really humorous read!

Anuoluwapo said...

Okizle for you. Thanks bae

Anuoluwapo said...

Baddoski! Lol

Anuoluwapo said...

Not forming like that but taking time to consider. Thank you

leeyah said...

I so much agree wit d writer. It's understandable if u are shy, bt forming..........¿¿¿¿¿¿

Anuoluwapo said...

Thank you leeyah :*