Wednesday, 2 July 2014

Dating is not a joke

You are not a charity organisation and should not date just anyone. I'm not saying anyone is better than the other but my dear, when it comes to who you're with, please discriminate. Do not settle for some "nonsense". People say, dating/courtship does not have to lead to marriage. The period is to get to know and understand each other. If it works out, good. If not, move ahead bae, sharp sharp. Do you know some people seek God's face before dating? It's not foolishness or over spirituality, it's wisdom. Dating is not a joke.
What are you doing with someone of another faith? That's the first disqualification. You just going to get your heart broken. You may not be thinking marriage now but you need to get that the goal of a relationship isn't to have pictures for your display pictures, free meals or to feel "false" love. The goal of a relationship is to know if you're suited for each other and learn how to work things through. When you start dating someone of the other religion now. After some time, you fall in love with him and wouldn't want to break up. You may get around getting married but when the issues begin in the marriage ehn, especially when kids are involved, you may not be too pleased. It works for a few people , majority regret it on the long run. 2 Corinthians 2:14. The deed has been done? 1 Corinthians 7:13.
A married man or a man who believes in polygamous should never be entertained. Sheer waste of time and energy. Remember Aunty Karma lives just around the corner.

Why are you with a guy without prospects, a guy content with waiting for "his" miracle or a guy that spends the weekend/evenings  at clubs and bars? Do you think he'll stay at home when you're married or you want to change him? I wish you the very best.

A guy that beats you up? *sigh* You're sleeping on a bicycle. He isn't your parent and has no right to discipline you, call you names, talk down at or humiliate you, I hope you realise that that's domestic violence. If he can't caution you in love, he isn't your man.

Don't do babies. You're his babe not mom or therapist. Every single guy should be able to take care of his laundry, feeding and emotional needs until he makes you a "help fit for him". When you have to be out of town when married, you know he'll be okay. He should know what he wants, go for it and be able to stand his ground. A baby can't protect you, you know?

You shouldn't be with a slacker. A guy that has no plans for the future, just taking each day at a time. What is that? No matter how little he makes, he should save something. He should have an idea of how he wants his life to work out.

Ditch the liar.
Forget the cheat.
A guy that claims to be who he isn't for you except you're fake.

An hypocrite is one whose values and standards differ depending on where he is and who he is with. A confused human being isn't your portion.

Falling pregnant isn't enough reason to marry someone. Forget what the society would say. Making the mistake of marrying the wrong guy will only make your life worse and the society still won't applaud. I'm not approving of fornication o, thank you.

Don't date or marry out of pity. It works against happiness in marriage.

You shouldn't be with a man that believes marriage is more for procreation than companionship. You will not be the neck that holds the head in the marriage, you'll be a leg that can be amputated.
Don't be with one that places a lot of emphasis on your looks.

A pompous man is a no-no. If your man doesn't treat his subordinates fairly, you deserve better. Humility is such a yes.
Forget about the flake. A man who constantly calls off dates, changes plans and never shows up/does as he promised. You want a reliable and considerate man.

Most importantly go for a man that fears and loves God, respects and treats everyone well. A man that respects you and puts you first. One you can easily talk to and know how to make you feel
better. One that respects your family, need their blessings before making you his and makes them his
 family too. He should not fight dirty and want to win every argument, neither should you. He should not be threatened by your dreams but support it. He should make you a priority.

Like I say, when it comes to the choice of who to be with. Please be selfish and discriminate. Your happiness matters alot. If you miss it, keeping back on track would be very difficult. God help us.
Thank you for reading *mmuah*

*2 Corinthians 6:14 "Stop forming inappropriate relationships with unbelievers. Can right and wrong be partners? Can light have anything in common with darkness?"
1 Corinthians 7:13 "And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him."


Anonymous said...

Lovely piece. However, I will like u to shed more light on d statement about marrying outside one's religion cos I know, i've seen & i've heard about couples who practice different religion & they are happily married with kids. Religion/ spirituality will truly guide u in making gud choices in marriage/ relationship but what kips u very married is love, respect & d fear of God.
Glad someone is willing to talk about issues many shy away from. M impressed!

Anuoluwapo said...

I can think of three families who are seemingly happy now. One's wife has changed religion. Second's wife portrays herself to be practising her hubby's religion but she also prays in the religion she was born in, neither here nor there to me. The third family are newlyweds and do not have kids. They still observe their different religions.
If love alone can sustain a home, divorce rates would be low. In our culture, we can't push some third parties away. When some inlaws start ehn + the spouse that was okay with it before may turn around.
The bible asks "Can two walk together except they agree?" If nothing, I think there should be spiritual agreement. A spouse you can pray and study the word with. The outside world is not smiling, you can't afford to be neither here nor there

Anuoluwapo said...

Yes, a couple with different religions can live a long and happy life. It's however not advisable as it works for very few pple. I know a lot of people it didn't work for. The ones that are still together do not encourage it.
I just remembered another happy family with kids. The couple openly practice different religions but do not encourage it

Esquire said...

Fantastic piece from a fantastic lawyer as usual. "Can two walk together except they agree? Spiritual agreement is key. I really dont know how it works for those who claim its working for them (Spouses with different religion). Because my bible cannot tell lies. It must be a miracle for it to work. Secondly, apart from spiritual agreement just as the writer has explained in so much detail, lets pay attention to other areas. eg. I remember some years back, my good friend Okwudili who works at NNPC was dating a lady who also works at NNPC. They were in love and everything seemed perfect only for Okwy to pop the million dollar question to this lady and guess what:

This christian lady told Okwy sincerely that her response would be based on his answers to her questions

1. I dont see myself cooking for you. would u let us eat out when we get married?
2. I dont like the issue of extended family members staying in our house even for one day. eg our parents, siblings etc. would u agree we book a hotel for them, whenever they come around to pay us visits?

my guy said because of love he could bend to accommodate number 1 but he did not AGREE with number 2. they went their seperate ways.

These were 2 born again christians oh. Thank God she spoke her mind before the marriage was consumated. Can 2 walk together except they agree??. Lets help ourselves. Thank you

Anuoluwapo said...

Thank you

Adesola said...

Just stumbled on ur blog now..Wow! I love this piece,keep d fire burning

Anuoluwapo said...

Thank you