Sunday, 13 July 2014

Tell me again how bad girls get married first?

Often times I hear babes say bad girls get married first. I wasn't looking forward to saying anything about marriage so soon but I heard that ridiculous statement again. I have always successfully overcome to urge to ask who kobalised them. Become bad too now abi why the hate? Did anyone pour sand in your garri? Please forgive and forget. So, it's not appropriate to make single friends feel bad, you can read more about that here Single friends also have no right making their married friends feel bad. Are you trying to say your contemporaries and younger ones who get married before you are bad? You need some pain relievers. Your bad belle is of high quality. If you can't be happy for them, sulk in your house. Don't be asking "when will I also get married?" in my presence. It is very awkward, I have no answer for you and it makes you look desperate. One thing I know is that you're better off than some married folks. Yes, that your friend that floods your TL or updates with "My hubby is the best" may cry herself to sleep everynight. Do you think she will tell you? They don't catch late comer, take your time and be sure he is the right one. I have a friend who, we all think, has met the one but if one asks her about marriage, she says "I have so much to achieve first." "Anu don't forget to wear your rings" she says. She has refused to allow the aso-ebis and bellanaija get to her and she is happy for her friends. If her bobo tells her "Let's do this L", she has nothing stopping her. She is too busy working on herself than scheming, hating and worrying. Build yourself while you wait. I have another friend who gingers everybody but will hide herself. She doesn't want to think about it yet. Please know what you want, don't let any fad distract you. At least you can see people rushing in and rushing out. We will not have cause to patronize divorce attorneys, Amen!

I agree that some very good girls, 100% wife material, aren't in relationships but who is bad ehn? Please stop saying anybody is too bad to be married. That is enough reason for one to go to hell, you know? Being good is not enough to get you (stay) married. I have a few points we can have fun reading and maybe learn a thing or two. You don't have to roll your eyes at me. It's just a fun post from the few things I gathered from the brothers. The hourglass and "artificialness" may attract a brother. He gets what he wants and off he goes, he doesn't get it after sometime and he still runs along. We should be the kind of babe that upon first sighting us, he knows we're not the kind of girl to mess with. Even if he goes ahead, we are all over his head after the first/second date. He can't get enough.

1. Keep your makeup very minimal except it's your wedding or a special occasion. Keep the lashes short.
2.  Keep the nails short and natural looking.
3. Dress how you want to be regarded and treated. I.e, like a side chic, baby mama or a fiancee. Your boobs and ass shouldn't be on social media or in our eyes.
4. Be an enigma. Keep few friends. Keep everyone guessing. Do not be seen everywhere. Hoard yourself reasonably. Don't be loud, be calm, be a lady. Your naughty/playful/talkative side is for close friends and family.
5. Sisi good girl, no guy would come ask you out under your father's house. Please make yourself reasonably available. Visit family and friends. Go out to lunch/dinner/movies/beach with your girlfriends.
6. Look good/classy and wear a smile. Don't scare "them" boys away.
7. Be friends with decent ladies.
8. Have the right attitude. Stop looking down on guys and stop the unnecessary posing.
9. Thou shalt not be everybody's random babe. If you don't use your bbm for business, why are you on everyone's like a smiley?
10. Don't be desperate. It scares guys away. Don't drop whatever you're doing for a guy. Don't give your girlfriends a rain check except it's very very important. If he wants to be with you, he should have made plans, you're not idle, are you? You had a life before you meant him, keep the life. Don't check on him every minute. Stop calling and messaging every minute. Don't carry him on your head like brazilian hair, face your work. Else, don't complain that he is taking you for granted.
11. Your relationship with God also determines how serious a guy will take you.
12. Don't flirt or talk about sex on social media or in public. If you have to have certain conversations, be weary of who you are it with and where. Don't gosh about men (naked/no not). Keep ya thirst to yourself bae or ask the Holy Spirit to hydrate you.
13. I've heard "join a unit in church especially ushering or choir". Yes, the brothers would get to notice you but that "service to God" is in vain.
14. Please go and learn how to cook and care of the home, even if you'll have a cook and an housekeeper.
15. Do not only package yourself, package your brain. Be intelligent, seek knowledge and wisdom. Read more on this here
16. Think with your head and not your heart. Don't be a mumu. You see obvious signs, form lover girl then you come crying "all men are the same" after he has messed your heart up.
17. Don't carry yourself like an option. Why are you always talking on bbm. What's wrong with him calling you. Say no to cheap guys. You have to see signs of seriousness before you let down your guards. He doesn't have to spend money on you. You should have an idea of his pocket. If he is a "Dangote" and asks you to share the cost of the dinner date. He is not ready for a babe. If that's how they do in the country he lived, he should go back and marry an Oyinbo lady. If he has 100naira and he is ready to spend 70naira on you. He is a keeper.
18. Don't let your thirst for love overwhelm you. You may want to read my previous posts, if you haven't. I always chip in one or two things.

 Thank you for reading. There is an avenue for us to give to Orphans in early August. Foodstuffs, beverages, used but neat children's clothes, cots, baths, books, toys, bag/lunch boxes. (New items and cash are also welcomed.) The list is inexhaustive. Nothing is too small/much. Kindly share with your kind hearted loved ones. May God continue to bless us all. To get involved, please message me on Thanks for reading. Xoxo, Anuoluwapo‎. Please come back again. Love you.







Miracle A. said...

Lovely post.
But on the part where you wrote that 'if a man has 100 naira and he is ready to spend 70 naira on you, he is a keeper'' many marriage messages/books you will hear that if a man has 100 naira and he has a lady/gf who is ready for him to spend 70 naira out of it on her, den she is not wife material. in other words a good woman is one who would say: ''why don't you spend 20 naira on me and save 50 naira''. If a lady can't emphasize on savings for her man even before marriage, it is a very bad portent.
Some would even tell you that a man who can spend 70 naira out of 100 naira on a lady is also not ready for marriage. So how do you juxtapose the two with ur original point.
On the topic itself, I have to say that it's true that most times, d bad girls end up getting married quickly and to the good guys while d good girls keep waiting in the shadows. but at d end of d day it is not how fast but how well.
More ink to ur pen

Anuoluwapo said...

Thank you Mercy A.
The guy has to be willing to spend 70 out of 100naira on her before she being a virtuous woman would say "No, give me 20naira, save/invest the 50bucks"

Eniwealth said...

Nicely written. It's a common phenomenon for d bad girls to get hooked before the good girls these days, but often, when one looks deeper, you'd find that there's more to these unions and good girl singleness than meets the eyes.

Ogbe Corleone said...

If i wantu agree with the notion that "bad girls" get married quicker then i can say I would think the "bad girls" get married quicker for a couple of reasons some of which you've already stated. These would include availability, most companies spend a lot of money on advert placements because the amount of times u see the goods would build a subconscious desire for the product. However whether after purchasing the product one is satisfied is a totally different matter. What am saying in essence is that the "bad girls" happen to be in the right places and get to meet the right people and they get married...whether they remain married is another matter.
But kill beg to disagree...most men are very careful when it comes to marriage. A man may lay with anything in skirts just for the heck of it but to actually get married? The lady's "CV" must be tight o...she has to be able to do a few things like the domestic ish, not trying to sound old fashioned but there's a certain sweetness in a "wife's" food...forget maid, cooks and all that paparazzi. So for me, if a lady can be a freak for her man and yet be able to put her act together when it comes to the home who tell u say she be "bad girl?"

Anuoluwapo said...

Barr Ogbe has spoken. Thank you dear