Someone asked me recently why being married doesn't shack me. I really don't see it as an achievement, it's something anyone can do. An achievement is having a PhD at 21. I am still very much myself. I don't understand the married "air" some ladies have. Some give their single friends the "I'm no more on your level" attitude. It just shows how unhappy they are and how much they need a ceremony to validate their lives. I met a 2015 bride that had the "inferiority" air. She isn't even married yet but couldn't let us rest. I couldn't help but LOL when I saw the look on her face after someone told her i'm 17months married. Some will not let our bbm rest with love, boyfriend and hubby talks. You're married so? Celebrate when you're 50years together, before then let's hear word.
You marry at 18years and you become a "madam" overnight. It's still awkward when people ask "How is the family?" That's stuff old people say to themselves. What happened to how you referred to dh and I before the wedding? Dh and I ran into a "friendly" acquaintance. After getting a side hug, he went all "I'm so sorry. I forgot you're married." So married "babes" are not "side huggable?"
Some people will say you don't look married. So because I'm married I should be wearing ankara wrapper and blouse? Thou shalt not be shabby. Why should one become a mama in the name of marriage? That's what they call oja okunkun, he married a babe and found himself with a mama. No man wants a mama. As long as you're decent you're good to go. I don't see why you should change your dress sense because you're married. You should have been dressing decently prior to the wedding day.
If you've had an healthy lifestyle. You don't have to change yourself. Nobody should force you to change, you should change because you love him/her enough to want a change. Don't wait till you're married till you quit the beer parlour, club, womanising, red light districts, runs,... It is people who live unhealthy lifestyles that feel they are missing out when married.
Then you have to be friendless because you're now a Mrs? I'm a firm believer of few childhood friends. If they were good enough to be by your side before and during the ceremony, they better be good enough to remain there. You don't need to share confidential information but everyone needs a friend which you can find in a relative. The space for one's girlfriend is different from that of the Le boo. Some will even dump their single friends for new married friends. Very funny as men remain homies for life.
Some advisers of life would tell you not to mention him on social media, stalk his social media accounts, make his phone your bestie, share a bedroom, etc. Thou shalt not be paranoid, live a free happy life and do what rocks your boat. Spouses differ from family to family. What works to Mrs A may not work for Mrs B.
Sharing a room for example usually has more pros than cons. If you however realise that you two have issues when you share a room and are happier when you have different rooms, please go for different rooms. I believe in personal space/retreats in marriage. A little time to yourself. You don't have to be in each other's face 24hours, 7days a week.
Thank you my darlings for reading. A fun post tomorrow? Love, Anuoluwapo.
|Because you need to leave some space for the Holy Spirit|
LOL = Laugh out loud
Oja okunkun = black market/deception