Yes, we're our own enemy! No lady wants a cheating man, yet men cheat. Are they cheating with their ancestors? We're the ones tearing marriages up, becoming second wives, pimping girls to men, encouraging men to mistreat their spouses,... Why do we hear more of "boyfriend/husband snatcher" than "girlfriend/wife snatcher?"
Bringing each other down is our hobby. A guy would ask to be introduced to our friend and we go "Her makeup is terrible", "She wears fake things", "She has such a nasty attitude", "You don't know her? Instagram whore 1". We never hear another lady's gist and stand to her defence. Even if we can't confidently say she isn't that bad, we should be able to say "Don't you have sisters? You don't talk about a lady like that", or "She has to have a good side."
Our brothers bring a million babes home forming "meet my family". Instead of asking "girl are you dumb? Why are you wasting your time with him?", we smile as we call her "our wife" but mutter "fool" under our breath. Men watch out for each other. Why can't we do same? Oh, I know a mom that asked her son's babe if she knows what she was getting herself into. God bless her.
Men that rape/ use and dump a girl often time enlist the help of other ladies, which may include her "friend". How do you sleep at night after perpetrating such wickedness against a fellow woman?
Mr A bares his mind to Mr B. Mr B helps him through the pain as much as he can and that's the end of it. Miss Y bares her mind to Miss Z. Miss Z helps her through the pain, checks on her and makes sure she is okay. She however ensures to help pass the information to Miss P, Mrs O and Mr T. That's how the gist gets to City people and Linda Ikeji. Men gossip among themselves but it takes so long for them to give us the gist. A lady on the other hand hears a gist (or their friend confides in her) and she can't wait to get through the door before downloading the gist to their partners (Later you wonder why your bobo is cold towards your babe. He knows too much and can't forget, that's why). And then they "innocently" (or out of malice) mention to other female friends. If I want Ronke to know, I can tell her myself, you know?
Two friends would fight and start talking about how the other's ancestor slept with a guy. They bring up irrelevant 2year old talks. What should we do with that? She said you disrespected her bobo, you're saying she slept with Teju's ex. Kindly grow up. You don't deserve that much drama in your life. How would you start apologising when you "kiss and makeup."
No one in her right senses would tear anyone down, talk less a friend. 3 friends would sit down and table the 4th friend's matter. When Friend 2 isn't around, she is quickly replaced by Friend 4 and extensively discussed. It's very bad. You're frenemies! We should build ourselves and not tear each other apart. Chastise her indoors. All corrections should be constructive and in love. She shouldn't be on the headlines.
Men would quickly find excuses for their friends or fellow men but we will even chook mouth and be talking gibberish. We go out of our way to make the situation worse. We need to realise that life isn't a competition. If we have to compete, it should be against the men. Becoming professionals, doing what was stereotyped as a man's thing. But really, life isn't a competition. We all live personalised lives.
A lot of ladies pray against female bosses, having to speak with a lady for small favours or bargaining with a lady. I know we're strong but let's stop being unkind to each other. Nobody can feel a lady's pain like another lady. Where is the feminist promise of solidarity? Why can't one be relaxed just because there is a lady in the panel interviewing her? I'm not saying do a wrong to favour a sister. I'm saying, help a sister whenever you reasonably can. When a lady is doing well, encourage her. If she is having troubles, support her. There will always be a lady better than you at something, you can as well get rid of the jealousy and put a stop to misogyny. Be a sister's keeper.
Thanks for reading. We'll talk extensively about female bosses and moms in law soon. I'm also looking at bringing something new and different. Yes, you can be excited. See you tomorrow. Kisses