Friday, 13 June 2014

A diva is a female version of a hustler

A senior colleague was addressing us yesterday at a meeting of mostly learned minds, don't be jealous - study law. He seems to be of the opinion that ladies should get married, get to making babies and leave the hustle to the men. A lot of people are of that opinion in this time and age. Times have changed and things are hard. If men are not content with farming in their villages, ladies shouldn't be content with being baby making factories, sitting at home with the kids or taking up petty jobs. What's wrong with Rebecca being a Prime Minister and Ronke being the Head of the World Bank? Look at Mo Abudu, Late Prof. Dora Akunyili, Hon. Abike Dabiri, Betty Irabor, Oprah,... You say we complain 5days a month, take a 3month maternity leave (all thanks to you) + 1 month annual leave. How about men that complain every single day and take out their frustrations on us? Thou shalt not be jealous, you can make the government and your bosses recognise paternity leaves. What is the labour union for?
Females perform better than males in school. We are strong-willed, focused and determined. We take whatever we're into seriously and perform excellently well, (why else do people dislike female bosses?) Why then should it be us that would take the chill pill? I can not agree less that a wife is a help mate suitable for her man. Life isn't easy. Many families require both partners bringing something to the table. Even if the man is doing very well, is there anything such as too much money? If you rely on your hubby for all your needs, will you also ask him for money to help people? How would you feel when you realise how much respect he gives his female colleagues? You can't just see and buy a hermes bag? What are you teaching your kids? Mommy has to collect money before she can buy pencils for us? Oh, hubby gives you a lump sum every month so you don't ask for money for little things? Permit me to laugh in Ijebu. How do you feel when ladies, like Beyonce, buy expensive gifts for their men and kids? Why can't you, for a change, say "Baby, we're going to Maldives this year and the tab is on me?" I know why, you're not working and have no money of your home.
I doesn't matter whether you earn 5k or 500k monthly. What matters is that you have something to bring to the table. Let's be real here, what would happen if your partner dies and you have nothing to call your own? You have no experience and have no idea as to how to manage his company? Or if some wicked greedy relatives decide to deal with you Africa magic style? What if your hubby loses his job or loses everything he has worked for? You will so be on your own. Oh not entirely on your own, you have kids to cater to.
Whatever presents itself for you to do, do it will (all) your might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, where you go. Ecclesiastes 9:10. You may also want to see Proverbs 31. Judges 4:4 talks of Deborah as the Chief Judge of Israel, Luke 2:36 Anna was a prophetess,... We will not judge ladies that don't work (not because they can't get a job but because they chose not to). Being a stay at home mom is indeed a full time job. If you can not joggle and balance being a wife, mom and career woman, it will be very wise to weigh these roles and go with whichever gives you fulfilment. That's better than doing a bad job at everything.
So my ladies, where your hustle at? Don't slow it down. Allow your man to take care of your every need, if he can, and use your money to pamper yourself, give gifts and help people. Don't forget to invest. Remember ashawo no be work! Dating/marrying a rich man is no hustle. In between, girls that date yahoo boys, you have mind o. Someone that is desperate enough to wipe someone's life savings (which to me = murder) or do jazz will harm you if need be. Shout out to my hardworking moms OO, OIA and BT (and the wonderful men that support and aren't threatened by their hustle) and every woman with a decent hustle. May we be like you.
Thanks for reading and sharing. I love you, Anuoluwapo.


    Esquire said...

    Lovely piece. Very interesting and educative although i feel u were being CHAUVINISTIC to say "Females perform better than males in school. We are strong-willed, focused and determined. We take whatever we're into seriously and perform excellently well". However, I agree with u 100percent that women were not created to be just baby factories or sex toys or Minister of Kitchen affairs.

    Anuoluwapo said...

    Please read it up, i'm not being chauvinistic. Thank you sir