Sunday, 29 June 2014

Fruitful alliances

I think I've been blessed in the friendship department. I've been able to know what friendship to invest in and the ones not expect anything from and I haven't had regrets, well, nothing serious. Before I do something, I do not only consider whether or not my parents and brother would fry me, I also imagine my friends' reactions. That we don't talk about personal stuff doesn't acquit us of each other the truth, even before one's opinion is sought when necessary.

Show me your friend and i'll tell you who you are, right? Meaning friends are generally of like minds. Often we see some unexpected alliances, a church girl and an "unchurch" boyfriend, a party freak and her sit at home friend, etc. When exams are drawing near, you see some very funny friendships, the brilliant and the not so brilliant, the unofficial school librarian and the chronic club goer. We understand what is going on here. The Aunty that hasn't been studying hard is wise enough to have a friend she can go to as exams draws near. Smart! But the "friend" she goes to may not be so pleased if she gains nothing from the friendship. Nobody deserves a parasitic friend. Friendship is give and take. A friend helps you make up what you're lacking and vice-versa. I had a naughty temper but after being friends with my darling T and dh, I learnt from them and gave myself brain. There really is no point getting worked up or keeping grudges. Sheer waste of time and energy I say. Some friends are all about taking. It may not even be material stuff but you can never say "I'm grateful to God for giving me Tola as a friend." The friend you can easily dispense off when he is out of sight.

The morale of this post if you're not gaining anything from/giving into a friendship, you don't have /you're not a friend. Even mentors gain, no matter how small, from the mentored. So what is your own? A divine helper? I bless God for your wonderful heart. You should also remember that when we give to God, he gives back with interest sef. Don't however call yourself her friend again. Thank you. Gallivanting around the world, keeping each other's company, having fun and gossiping isn't friendship. Set short and long term goals. Is she going to help you meet those goals? You're in Law School, studying isn't your thing, you know you need motivation to study yet the friend, you chose or you allowed to choose you, is the exact same as you. You don't compliment each other? You're strengthening your strengths and weakening your weaknesses. You're nothing less than a learner. Choose friends that bring something to the table, don't be chosen. Stop wasting your time having fun when your should be studying or hustling. What are you celebrating? Fun is a reward for doing well or to relax after a work well done, not a prologue before work.

Dear "low key" readers that were upset there was no post yesterday. I'm sorry. Thank you for reading. Do we talk about the Girl Code tomorrow? Xoxo, Anuoluwapo.


Anonymous said...

On point! I don't even have a problem with 'selfish' friends however if u won't add unto me them I take exceptions to trying to always take away from me.
And yeah, we read ur posts everyday so pls don't skip days again. God bless.

Esquire said...

Darling T and DH (whoever u are), thank you for helping to us to remove that naughty temper from Barrister. If not it may have affected other friendships like that of Esquire.

Anuoluwapo said...

Ahah, I may nor be able to put up posts everyday. Thank you so much

Anuoluwapo said...

Lol! Abi o. Thank you

Eniwealth said...

Nicely written again. More lessons learned. Evaluating the ones in my zone... Thanks Anu

Anuoluwapo said...

Thank you :*