My rant was inspired by a tweet I saw yesterday. Only a boy can think and have the nerves to say/tweet "Will never propose to any girl on a knee. No time to design some elaborate scheme to surprise anyone. Too busy." How dare you? What/who exactly do you think you are? Is it the babe you want to marry that is anyone? You think you can marry with that lousy attitude? Are you a meal? Why so full of yourself? Take it to the bank, only a girl will marry you. Ladies are not desperate. Remember Aunty Karma may be visiting your sister, daughter and granddaughter?
We are so quick to "worship" and make men feel too special. He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord. Is it your ticket to favour you're too busy to do something special for? What do you do again? Obama is one of the most powerful men in the world, if not number 1. Do you see/sense that he acts in such a lousy manner or treat his wife with disdain? Dear ladies, assess Michelle Obama, does she seem desperate? One a man can toss around? We don't understand our worth. Help mates fit for them. They can not live fulfilling lives without us. Do we need help mates? No! Are they a channel of favour for us? It's not said. They marry us, we change our names and signatures, become cooks, housekeepers, personal assistants, confidants, motivators, prayer warriors, carry pregnancies, go through labour, sleepless nights, ruined bodies,... And you say you're too busy to go out of your way for her? A man that is too busy now to design some elaborate scheme to surprise anyone will not put in any effort to make make you happy or please you. Kudos to the amazing men that not only love their women but appreciate and help them.
I'm not saying we should start forming independent women. I'm saying let's be wise and sure before we start looking at wedding dresses. It's not easy to be submissive, especially not to a guy that has no respect for you and can not go out of his way for you. The ladies whose men cherish do not have two heads. If he can not cherish you, you should not be with him. Do you want to live with an egocentric, brutish, lousy and immature man for the rest of your life? If you accept it now, it will become a norm in your life. Don't get me wrong. It's not just about the proposal. I did not have a fancy proposal abi do you know my proposal story? This is about not being desperate to settle with just any guy. This is about teaching men to respect women. Don't mind when married folks coo about their partners, it isn't always smiles. Mutual respect, amongst other things, is what keeps you happy. I hope you know there are men who believe their women are slaves. Have you seen Mr and Mrs? Hardly is any lady fortunate enough to have her story ending beautifully like that.
We are help-mates not slaves. We will help but we deserve love, peace, respect,... to make helping beautiful and easy. Please my darling, don't have unrealistic standards and don't settle for a lousy undeserving guy that would frustrate you.
Thank you for reading again today. It's "What a girl wants - naija style" tomorrow. Much love.